Chuck vs the Crappy day
by Just Chuck
Summary: Just after Chuck vs oh crap. Again AU with the same bad writing style and worse jokes. As per request I added a bit more to the plot, but that fell flat. This is not meant to be serious, just crappy.. BONOUS CONTENT! EASTER EGG
1. A bit of Back story

A/N This is the beginning of the squeal for Chuck vs oh crap. It picks up the day after everyone life gets turned upside down. If you have not read Chuck vs oh crap, this chapter will probably make very little sense to you.

I own nothing of interest, like Chuck or any other reference except for a few new characters such as the director, etc. Those are easy to pick out I hope. And if not, they you need to brush up on the first two seasons of Chuck. If the rest is confusing, then I suggest you read Chuck vs. the Oh Crap.

All my mistakes are my own. So far those I have had no luck in finding a beta. But I will keep trying. As well I am trying to keep to a chapter every Monday. If there is anyone here that remembers the last one, I will try honestly to put one out a week, honestly!

FYI Still got an ad out for a Casey doll to protect me… Anybody find one at Comic Con?

--

The Distant Past

Day 2 minus 11 years or so

One very grey looking man was lying in a hospital bed looking out at the white wall of the other wing of his DC hospital when he hears his door open. "Oh come on worry wart, you've only been gone 10 minutes..."

"Now do I look at like a worry wart to you?" He looks up from the bed to see Arthur Graham with his arms crossed smiling that wicked smile when he wants something.

"Oh Crap, you do actually. Virginia is going to be upset that she was not here when you finally poked you scrawny neck in."

Graham laughs and pulls up a chair "I have to be on a plane in a couple of hours. So is it true? You want to get your sorry butts out of the game."

Hawk laughs but it quickly turns into a coughing fit "Take off eh?. Crap, don't do that to the dying."

"After all the work we put into Zodiac, are you sure you want to leave it to others. Virginia won't stay if you don't, I can't come back, I'm too involved in a special project. I couldn't sit around and drink coffee all day anyways. Besides I look terrible in a trench coat.."

Hawk smiled "You are rambling again. For a man of few words you do like to run off at the mouth occasionally. I let me hazard a guess, the Director wanted you to come over here and talk us out of it"

"Yes, he might have given me a heads up, but I would have come as soon as I heard anyways. This just gave me an executive jet instead of flying coach, and a little more info. You guys are the exception that makes the rule you know. That's why the Director wants you out in the field. No one can break a cover that is as real as yours. No one would believe you are spies. That's what gives you the edge."

"Oh crap Art, neither of us really wants to, but when the twins started school and we got talked back into part time there were risks. You got shot in the back saving them last year. Remember that crappy night."

"Yes Art if you don't, I sure as heck do." The voice behind them speaks softly.

Graham gets up at that point and turns to hugs the small woman that always has the bad habit of sneaking up behind him. "Good to see you again Virginia, I've missed playing poker with you."

"So have I, I could use a new dress, but seriously it took eighteen months to track down all those responsible for that night. And it nearly killed Hawk this time. In the past two years I nearly lost my whole family, and that includes you, you big lug. Here is an idea, come retire with us. There is a place we have in Canada that is beautiful enough that you might even crack a smile. "

"You are both the closest thing to a family, but I have to see this project I'm on though. It's personal Virginia, and will be years before it is ready." he speaks up "Let's face it Hawks been poisoned so many times, if it hasn't killed him by now, then it never will. It's that coffee that runs through his veins, it neutralizes any poison"

Graham ducks just in time to miss the pillow aimed at his head.

"Ok, if you are so short on time, spill the beans and get it over with." Hawk then slowly gets up to sits on the side of the bed.

Graham watched his struggle and what little blood he had left drain from his friends face. Virginia and he would go over and give him a hand with nothing ever said. Hawk would just get mad and somewhere in the future get revenge. Last time he gave unsolicited help, he got a knock out drug in his lunch, and when he awoke he was dressed in a pink bunny outfit, sprinkled in the hind end with itching power and the zipper glued shut. To make matters worse he was late for his first meeting with the new director.

"Here is what the Director is offering; Agent Montgomery has decided to return to his full time instructor position for the NSA. I think he is interested in someone over there personally, but that leaves Cancer post looking for a new head. You can resume your medical career and be a CIA doctor again, running the rehab centre we have through the Sydney Hospital, Virginia can run the field training side we want to open up. Her cover would be running the restaurant that is the current front. The designs need to be updated to something more useful, more then just a safe communications relay point. You two proposed something last year, and they want you to turn Cancer into the base you have been complaining we needed for years. The director even said that you can have your coffee shop and drink all the profits. "

"There will still be missions. As Dr. And Mrs Percy I am sure you can attend the high society balls. You know how evil doers love a fancy party. Your jobs will be more mission planning and overseeing training."

"Crap" Hawk looks up to the heaven "let me guess, 'stay in the car'. Neither of us has been able to do that."

Graham looks at both of his closest friends and realized that they are not going to take it. "_Time for the knockout punch."_ "Listen I pushed for this. I know how much this life means to both of you. I also know that family will always come first. I am trying to find a compromise. For the next few years you can still be with the twins, and you can even put them to work in the restaurant. You can be a family and still do important work. Besides I need to know someone somewhere still in the service will have my back."

Hawk and Virginia glance at each other; Graham took a lot of effort not to smile. He couldn't read the silent language very well, but he knew he had them.

"Art give us a few days to think about it. Now, I really need to use the facilities. Pass that contraption over."

Graham passes over the walker and Hawk unstably at first rises to his feet. Still a little shaky from the effects of the poison, but he does manage to get up and slowly headed to use the facilities. Virginia gets up too and gives Graham a hug. "Come over and have supper with us and the twins when you get back. They would love to see their godfather again. We can talk more about it then" And with that she kisses Hawk and heads out.

Graham sits down and opens the file he brought with him. Jack Burton scammed a lot of people over the years and a motorcycle gang has tracked him down. Graham was going down to arrest him. This case was very personal; there aren't too many people Graham could say that he owned anything too. Hawk and Virginia were two and Lisa crap it was just the wrong person at the wrong time. He pulls out his phone "I need an identity set up for a 17 year old female. Name" He looks around the room as spies a Sara Lee cake. "Let's make it Sarah Lisa…." He looks at Hawk returning "Walker. Have that ready in about two hours."

--

A/N

The whole purpose of this is to have a good laugh. This AU will be based first two seasons, but when season three comes it will be blown out of the water I'm sure. For those of you who did not read Chuck vs oh crap, I hope this will be funny and confusing (yes I started the last one off having people shake their heads too). And I promise it will not be like 4 chapters before we see Sarah like last time. She is in the next chapter. Really Honestly! I called it Breakfast of Chumpions!


	2. Good Morning Sunshine?

Well now Chuck and Sarah's of the world, here is the next chapter.

Usual disclaimers apply, I own nothing, no beta, and mistakes are my own. See the first chapter for more information. News at 11, etc…

A tiny summary as requested by anonymous for some of the Chuck-Sarah changes. I worked it into the story instead of at the top. A/U fun.

Day 2 – Approx 1 AM

Special Agent Sarah Lisa Walker, top deep cover agent, best of the best of the Central Intelligence Agency and now the most scared woman on the planet.

She replayed some of the events of last night a thousand times from the moment they were said until she and Chuck walked into her apartment:

The new CIA director forced her to make a choice of three options; all of them really didn't involve Chuck.

They had argued over it.

They ended up somehow kissing – wonderful passionate longing kisses that promised so much more. The thought of it still gave her some butterflies.

The Director informed Ellie and Devin of how special Chuck was in detail.

Somehow at the end of it she finally had permission to drop the fake part of Chuck's and her relationship. Wow

As people went their separate ways in Castle last night, Sarah thinks back to when she and Chuck was left alone for a few minutes.

"_Sarah tell me, what is really happening here? I…." _He continued rambling on, but for the life of me I have no idea what he said.

Chuck never stopped holding her hand for the whole time, the famous Bartowski grin becoming somehow wider as he finally takes in a breath. He looks in her eyes and that smile even seems to be in his voice_ "Your hand's a little moist."_

The corners of my mouth turn up_ "It does that when I'm freaking out" _I grab both sides of Chuck's face and give him a gentle but promising kiss. He leans his forehead against mine and I can hear myself saying _"This changes everything you know."_

That's when Casey returned with champagne insisting upon a toast "TO FINALLY BEING ABLE TO STOP LISTENING TO THE PUPPY WHINE!"

"_Was this the end of our problems?"_ Sarah was standing in front of her bathroom mirror applying the finishing touches to her lipstick. .

Could Agent Walker actually co-exist with the reawoken Sarah Walker. Looking at the possible new life ahead of she realized she could be happy and not have to feel like she was betraying her country, job, herself or the man she loves.

Taking one last look in the mirror she took a deep breath. She was never surer of anything in her life. "Showtime"

When they got there, she told Chuck that she was going to slip into something more comfortable. She strolled out wearing what she knew washer new favourite seduction apparel. She bought it for their first night together after he found out that she was staying. That seemed like so long ago now. She was going to buy it in black, but she remembered thinking this was a good chance to see if he really didn't like her in red. She so missed wearing red.

She saw Chuck lying on his side in bed.

"Chuck are you ready for the best night of our lives?"

No response. She slowly climbs next to him in bed and whispers in his ear:

"Chuck I hope you took your vitamin today? You're going to need all the energy you can get" She whispered in his ear.

Still no answer, or any other reaction, from the man on the bed.

"Chuck?"

She touches his shoulder and Chuck turns over and his arm goes around Sarah pulling her close.

"OH CRAP YOU ARE NOT SOUND ASLEEP!" With that Sarah shakes him with a little more force than she was planning to.

Chuck mumbles something under his breath.

Sarah could not believe it. Changing tactics, she reached over and kisses Chuck, lightly on the lips at first then with a little more incentive.

Chuck smiles and mutters something that Sara though was 'meryfy mi imzadi'.

Sarah just stared. Not sure if she should grab a bucket of ice water or a P90 assault rifle. "_I could not have read this wrong, Oh crap did I read it wrong" _Thinking back over the night she realized that it must have been adrenaline that was keeping him going after he got tranqued earlier by Forrest. When he finally stopped he crashed. "_Grrr, Casey I bet he just gave him coffee and not the antidote to bring him around.'_

Making a mental note to do things to Casey and Forrest that were on the list of inhumane torture techniques she laid down next to her soon to be lover, looking at his face and running her hands through his animal shapes. Even as frustrated as she was, she smiled "Well Chuck, we have waited this long, a few more hours while the drug gets out of your system won't kill us. I want us both to remember our first time making love. But you owe me for making me wait, so get lots of rest because I intend to collect with interest."

Leaning over she gave Chuck good night kiss, then several more thinking she really could get use to this. She snuggled next to the man knew she loved more today than she did yesterday.

"Oh crap, by the way, remind me in the morning that I should tell you that I love you before I show you how much I love you"

Day 2 – Approx 6:30 AM

The blonde woke up with a start. "Ow" She blinked several times and realized that she had the worst hangover ever. _"Oh Crap what happened last night?" _Looking around, she thought that the room looked familiar" _Where am I? OH CRAP WHAT AM I WEARING? 'I LOVE REGAN t-shirt'?? WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED LAST NIGHT???"_

Sensing movement next to her she slipped her hand under her pillow, finding nothing.

"Alex, so you are finally awake" Came a sleepy voice behind her. She turned around and saw John Casey lying beside her with a look of .. what was that.. pleasure?

HUMPH #48 (I must be in a nightmare) "Casey, what happened last night. Last thing I remembered is entering Castle and finding some really good scotch. Was it laced with something?"

GRUNT #106 (almost happy) "Welcome back to LA Honey. Last night had to be the best night ever. Tell me.. was last night good for you?"

Agent Alex Forrest then did something that she thought would never happen in her lifetime, She froze. She had no idea what to do next. Her jaw dropped . She after a few minutes of staring at Casey, pulled the sheets up to her chest. "_Yes he is really cute, and we both like guns, and he looks great in the file picture in his dress … but I never thought in my wildest dreams… ok maybe my wildest but there was more gunplay…"_

GRUNT #103 (Serves you right) and a fully dressed Casey got up and headed towards the door. "That was quite a performance last night. Way to impress your new Director. I thought you were smarter than that. Your new clothes are in the bag on the stand. Meeting in 90. Get dressed and meet me for a Subway breakfast sandwich in the kitchen."

Forrest groaned, laid back down and buried her head in the pillows. All she could remember was the scotch and shooting a bunch of annoying fuzzy people last night, oh and a lot of crappy coffee. Finally she reached over and pulled out a Subway uniform from the bag. "WHAT THE CRAP!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, drowning out Casey's snickering.

--

Ellie and Devin woke up on their couch at the sound of a woman screaming something. After a few minutes when no other loud sounds followed, they got up and moving like two zombies, went through the motions of making coffee and pancakes.

When they got home last night, Ellie still refused to speak to Devin over the whole bachelor party / stripper incident and Devin was banished to the couch. That lasted about twenty minutes until Devin not able to sleep started making popcorn and the smell made Ellie realize how hungry she was and coming out to steal some. That led to an impromptu movie which leads to them having a conversation. Then it was a make up kiss that ended in the two making up until dawn.

As the breakfast was being prepared Ellie heard the shower going. _"Chuck's home? I assumed he went to Sarah's. I'll have to make more food" _"Sweetie, we might as well make enough for John as well. Can you go over and let him know it will be ready in 20" Ellie stopped and thought "If **that woman** is still over there, tell John she had better be on her best behaviour or I will not be held responsible if she gets poison in her maple syrup."

--

Yesterday Morgan and Anna searched for Chuck all over LA. It ended back at Chuck's room and Morgan calling everyone he thought might know where Chuck was. His cell's outgoing call list looked something like: Chuck, Sarah, Chuck, Ellie, Sarah, Chuck, Awesome, Chuck, Sarah, and it ended up with Morgan getting hung up on by Casey, the only one on the list to actually answer. He decided to wait it out in Chuck's room. Anna wanted to go home at midnight, but Morgan refused to budge until he knew Chuck was safe "He would never be too long away from his X-BOX" Morgan kept saying.

Anna however was board, Anna hated being board. And there was a bed there…

They woke up to the sound of someone screaming

--

"Yes, that is right, frozen yogurt machines. When you take them out of the Castle storefront I want you to install them in Scorpio."

"I err want to set up another type of storefront as a practice cover for the recruits."

"As soon as possible please and yes I will need supplies"

Virginia closed her cell phone, one broad smile starts coming to her face _"Whew, I was afraid that they might actually question me more on that. Darn, why is that yogurt so good?"_

Virginia looks around her very empty office; specifically the only thing in it is her and her laptop playing the 'You got Mail' annoying sound effect."

"_Right on time" _

-

RE: ARRIVAL

V

Landing in 10 minutes. Beckman is waiting in my office with a crap load of NSA agents apparently.

She didn't even go home to sleep. Should be interesting.

Vince coming by to see you today. Tell him he still owes me a round of golf.

Going for Coffee.

H

-

"I'm going to miss the fireworks".

Clicking on another icon on the desktop, multiple windows pop up showing video feeds from outside Casa Bartowski. _"humm, That should work very well. I should be able to talk Hawk into that one."_ Starting a new e-mail message, she is typing way when over the computers speakers comes the woman screaming. "_Good morning Agent Forrest. There is something about the Colonel's sense of humour that I really like."_

_---_

And you really didn't think I would make it that easy for them did you?

You do realize that Crap is in the title right? I do not remember who asked, but there will be another Director - General - Showdown coming to a chapter soon.

All this and even more crap to come! Stay Tuned

BTW: I love reviews, good and bad. This is a learning process for me so I can't have enough of either!


	3. The Rise and Fall of Chuck Bartowski

_A/N _

NOTE: This chapter a little more mature than previous chapters. I think it stays within the rating but if someone knows better please tell me.

Other notes / Disclaimer at end of chapter

_--_

_(bad elevator music playing in the background.)_

(Various pictures of the Buy More employees minus Morgan and Casey float by the screen, all on Buy More Green.)

(Announcer with a very deep voice starts narration:)

"Time flows slowly in Fan Fiction,"

"Chapters seem to only cover mere minutes in our Hero's lives,"

(Pictures of the General, Morgan, Ellie and Awesome float by:)

"Yet A Crappy Author seems to drag out the despair of well, at least one reader."

(Background changes from Buy More Green to Red or Salmon: Pictures of Casey and Sarah float by:)

"And now, these are the 'Crappy Days' of Charles Irving Bartowski"

(Pictures of Chuck float on screen and fade to black).

--

Sarah's Apartment.

Sarah woke up to Chuck stirring next to her. Glancing at the time she knows that with or without that old clock radio of his, he usually wakes up at seven. She starts smiling _"Ten minutes to seven – nope not going to wait those crappy ten minutes."_

She leans over and slowly gently places a kiss on Chuck's lips, transforming it into a full blown smile as soon as they come up for air. He returns her wake up call with a kiss of his own that he hopes symbolizes every bit of emotion he has had for her over the last two years.

"Chuck me" she tries to say in those frantic moments. He is only too happy to oblige.

Then Sarah noticed something… wrong.

Years later she will look back on this day and knew this is when things hit rock bottom.

While his spirit was there, his body well, not so much.

Sarah was shocked. No-one ever not responded to her in THAT way in THIS situation before. NEVER EVER.

Chuck did what any red blooded male would do in this situation - he totally freaked out.

"OH CRAP SARAH WHY WON'T IT WORK! IT ALWAYS WORKS WHEN YOU ARE AROUND. IT NEVER .OH CRAP I MEAN I NEVER… OH CRAP IS IT BROKEN? SHOULD WE CALL 911, DO I NEED TO GET TO THE HOSPTAL. SARAH OH CRAP SARHA I AM SOOOO SORRY SARAH…"

If he was thinking clearly, he could tell that Sarah was incredible upset, but now all she could do was stare. She has never thought this would happen to her. She was trained to get the expected reaction out of any male on the planet. Not this. Never this. She blinked some tears out of her eyes as the Agent Walker side took charge and Agent Walker was not known to be warm or cuddly, but the Sarah Walker side tries to be comforting. The two sides warring with each other take seconds and ends this time in a compromise. Grabbing Chuck in an overly tight hug, she very awkwardly tries to remain professional. "Oh Crap... um... calm down… err … sweetie… its OK really, this happens to all men sometime in their CRAP!"

Suddenly it became crystal clear. She jumps up, causing Chuck to fall off the bed hard and putting on the clothes on the chair over her sleepwear she grabs her keys, gun and knives and runs towards the door. Chuck went from being totally freaked out to totally scared crapless. The last time Sarah had that look she shot a man in cold blood in the middle of a Christmas tree lot. He had hoped never to see that look again, and never thought it would be because of him. There was not enough money in the world that would get Chuck to stick his head up to see what she was doing. He envisioned that poor alarm clock stuck to the wall with one of her knives, or worse the pencil and the picture of them before her high school reunion.

"Chuck drink lots of orange juice, I mean a crap load of orange juice, Drink until it is coming out your ears got it. I've got several cans of concentrate in the freezer. Stay in the apartment Chuck!"

Listening as Hurricane Sarah slammed the door on her way out, Chuck crawled unto the bed and after reciting his personal mantra (Don't Freak out). He finds his lucky 'NERDS HAVE HARD DRIVE' underwear _"I am so glad she didn't look too closely at these. I hate to explain how Morgan gave them to me for Valentines Day a few years ago"_ and puts them on. After a few minutes he starts pacing around the room.

"Don't Freak out, she said drink orange juice, but how will OJ fix… OK I needed a second opinion. Who Casey – NO way that is not going to happen. I have no idea of how to live this down already and that would make it so much better. Crap Sarah, oh I am so sorry Sarah I never meant to hurt you. Morgan – no he is probably with Anna and it will probably get back somehow to Jeff and Lester. Oh Crap, as if I didn't feel bad enough already. Doctor right that's who I need Ellie – CRAP NO, Not Ellie, Awesome that's it I need to talk to Awesome. Sarah I am so sorry."

Going to grab his clothes he comes to a complete stop "Oh Crap. She didn't". Looking around he finds a coat in her closet that he remembered Sarah wore on their first cover sleepover._ "She looked so.... Oh Crap I gotta focus and get this fixed."_

Grabbing it and the keys to the SUV he scrolls through his iphone.

"Ellie Hi how are you."

"Good listen I need to speak to Devin."

"Now actually. It's kind of an emergency."

"No I'm not hurt, not shot or stabbed, no blood leaving my body in that way."

"No it's not that either – Gross by the way. There is a reason I don't try to figure out what you and Awesome do when the door is closed."

"Just tell him I am on the way over and don't go anywhere."

"He's back YES.. Put him on..."

"No I'm not in my bedroom; I'm leaving Sarah's now."

"Ellie please just put him on."

--

Sarah walked into the elevator and almost trips in her rush out of her apartment. _"Great I can't even walk today, and it's not even for a good reason. What's wrong with these pants?" _Grabbing her knife and a swish swish of the blade "_Fixed." _

Sarah gets behind the wheel, tears of hurt and frustration fall down her face, her jaw set. She heads off to gather the intel she needs in order to get her pound of flesh. There are no problems, only solutions. Revenge however is certainly not out of the picture. Never before has she wanted to hurt someone as much as she did now.

"_I can fix this!"_

--

Devin knocked on Chuck's bedroom door as he was passing by to go invite Casey for pancakes "Yo Chuckster, Breakfast is up and it is AWSOME" and started back to the kitchen.

"Be right out!" cried a female voice that certainly not Sarah's.

"_Whoa not awesome."_ Devin does a 180 "umm Chuck who is in there with you?"

Morgan opens the door, dripping wet with Chuck's pillow covering the more private areas. "Hi Captain, Good to see you this fine fine morning. It's just me and my Anna-banana here. Chuck's not here actually. Funny story, we were waiting for Chuck to come home last night and we, well we kind of .."

"Say no more Morgan. I think I understand the situation, just anything that needs burned or broke just put on the bed. And I will break the news that you are here to Ellie. You are going to have to explain to Chuck why his room looks like a scene from Call of Duty though."

"Thank you very much Devin, Man - I really owe you for this. You know maybe later since Chuck's not around you and I can play some Call of Duty sometime maybe... It's not like Chuck's leaving a double life or anything.."

The door suddenly closes and Anna's giggling "We need a minute Devin" followed by a smash.

"_So not awesome."_

--

Casey was writing in his calendar. He hardly ever used it preferring to rely on memory than a piece of paper that could potentially help track down his location if it fell into unfriendly hands, or worse Bartowski's.

It did however make a good object to annoy his co-workers with on occasion.

"Dear Diary" He spoke as Forrest was coming down the stairs wearing not the subway outfit but sporting one of Casey's polo shirts and pants, with his favourite leather belt that was now peppered with several new holes created to make it fit the slim agent.

Undaunted, Casey continues "Today marks a major change in my life and I have now a Mrs. Casey to deal with. Our first night was wonderful. We laughed, we drank oh and she shot two dogs making out on the steps last night..."

"Casey, what on cylon is going on here? What happened last night, and how did I wake up here. Oh crap please tell me I didn't get THAT drunk…"

Casey slams the book closed and turns back to the coffee pot behind him.

Grunt #222 (heck with it) Forrest how much do you remember from last night." Casey then goes and passes over a cup of coffee made just the way Forrest likes it.

Humph #21 (What the…) "We were in Castle, drank some really great scotch. I think I shot something that seemed... well... fuzzy.. furry.. Something like that. I felt sick and being really really upset over something– that's about it."

Grunt #423 (almost pity) "Sit your butt down Forrest and let me fill you in on what you were too blitzed to take in last night." He turns back to the coffee pot and refills his own coffee, he sees Captain Awesome walking across the courtyard toward his front door. "But first, tell me do you remember anything about a lap dance?"

--

Virginia had walked over to the Orange Orange for a yogurt with extra strawberries and to read today's paper. On the front page, the main story was about the 'riot' caused on the beach yesterday. She was almost seated when Sarah's Porche tore into the parking lot, she watched as Sarah nearly broke the front door and crossed the Orange Orange floor, "CRAP" Sarah yells, then jumps over the counter and descends into Castle.

"Hi Sarah, what's wrong? Where's Chuck? Hey are those men's pants cut off at the knees?" Virginia then puts her yogurt on the table.

"I am going to KILL SOMEONE!" came the voice from the freezer.

"_OH CRAP NO - NOT AGAIN – I only brought two dresses."_

"_Crap crap crap crap crap!"_ Virginia runs down the stairs and catches up with her leaving the med bay holding one mighty big syringe."Sarah - SARAH calm down. Talk to me what the crap is going on"

Sarah goes over to the side computer and starts reviewing the video recordings from last night.

"SARAH WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON!"

"no." Sarah whispers backing away from the stand alone computer apparently in complete horror of what she sees there.

"CRAP WHAT? – SARAH!"

Sarah looks like she is ready to faint and Virginia grabs her and helps her into the chairs by the boardroom table.

"For the last time Agent Walker, What is going on and why are you wearing men's clothes inside out?"

Sarah stares straight ahead. She opens her palm revealing to two small packets, the kind that agents commonly use on missions to hold drugs.

Virginia picks up the packets and with the look of a deer in headlights stares at them not realizing what she was holding until Sarah thought she heard her voice tell Virginia what she had.

You could have picked Virginia's jaw off the floor. She sunk into the neighbouring chair. After the initial shock had passed, she completely understood the anger and frustration felt by the other agent. After all that time and someone does this. If someone done this to her, that someone would be dead, or at least missing a vital reproductive organ. "Who?"

Sarah, points to the small screen. Virginia takes a deep breath and looks at the monitor to identify the soon to be dead person. Just like Sarah she backs away in horror and slumps back into the chair.

"No crappy way, there has to be some other explanation – Sarah this has got to be a mistake."

Sarah now stares straight at the image on the screen all she could say was "Why".

--

Devin walked through his front door after delivering Casey's invite plus one_ "What was her name again, Tress, Shrub, Leaf something like that."_

Ellie is waving at him to come over, _"Whoa she's upset, Should have told her about Morgan before I went to John's."_

"Devin something is wrong with Chuck and he won't tell me." She passes the phone over. "He wants to talk to you and is on his way over. Find out what is wrong with my brother, why is he keeping secrets again! I thought we were all through with that. And if he is leaving Sarah's, who is in his bedroom?"

Devin takes the phone "Morgan and Anna are in Chuck's room, and they would love to stay for pancakes. We might have to burn Chuck's bed however." He turns and heads for the couch.

"Yow Chuckster, how's it hanging?"

"Calm down Bro you sound like a bunch of birds quacking."

"NO WAY - Oh Crap, tell that to me again."

"Dude you did what?"

"Ok I'll keep my voice down."

"No worries, Ellie won't hear."

"And it didn't rise at all to the occasion?"

"Not even a tremor?"

"No dude Sarah is mondo hot, I don't know a guy that wouldn't get…"

"Ok not helping got it. Now of any reason why?"

"How many and how long ago?"

"Ok Got it, well any other… err.. Symptoms?"

"Orange Juice – no idea man that makes no sense."

"Yeah I have some here, freshly squeezed."

"No man that was not meant to be funny."

"Not AWESOME Dude."

"Nope never, ever. Wang juice man I keep telling you to start with the wang juice."

"No problem I'll make a double batch for you."

"Yes there are test we can run."

"Chuck listen, come over. Ellie is making pancakes breakfast and we can go over to the hospital and I can order some tests."

"Seriously Chuck, not once."

Devin ended the call and watched as a nervous Ellie nearly burnt a batch of pancakes as she tried to listen in to the conversation.

"Chuck is ok right, Devin tell me everything is OK with Chuck and Sarah?"

Devin looking usually uncomfortable "Well, I guess there was a little problem getting little Chuck to come out a play last night. You might want to call Sarah babe, she apparently is not awesome, mood wise anyways."

Ellie trying to piece together what on earth Devin was talking about when suddenly "EWWW DEVIN, Oh Crap poor Sarah" She grabs the phone from his hands "watch the pancakes."

Morgan and Anna had walked into the living room as Ellie was dialling.

"Hey guys, anything interesting pop up?" Morgan yells.

--

DISCLAIMER

I do not own Chuck. I am not sure who does anymore, but it is not me or anyone I know. I make nothing but the feeling of terror as I am worries that some reader out there will want to torture me to make this go faster.

Bribes don't work; I will never take money for this crap, and all I write is crap, therefore no money for me.

Since no-one got back to me about a Casey Action Figure for my protection, I hear there might be a Jayne doll that would do.

There are several older references to Chuck episodes. I don't have the list in front of me so I just pretend that everyone knows Chuck well enough to find them. There is also reference to Chuck vs Oh Crap again. Crappy piece of work I know, but it is just one of those things.

So if you are still with me, please review.


	4. WHAT! SHOOT THE AUTHOR! NO CASEY DOLL!

AN

_This was supposed to come later; actually it was the one of the last chapters of 'Oh crap'. But I am having a hard time with the aftermath from the previous chapter and with moving, no net at home, etc. It is just not flowing right, and I have no time to do a serious fix tight now. So when I got asked to fill in a few hours at work I looked at this and said it could work here, and putting this here seems it might help those that are lost again. Grr I love to confused, but you've been great to review and make comments that I don't feel right not putting something up This is my way of saying thank you to all the people who pm and review. Love reviews!_

_This will probably make absolutely no sense if you did not read Chuck vs. the Oh Crap. A lot of information from Season one and two is smattered in here as well._

Rest of disclaimers at end of Chapter.

Chapter 8 – Old Smelly Crap

About a year earlier.

A pitch back office building at an unknown location, approx 0330.

"OUCH!"

"You ok?"

"FINE, did you find that gorram light switch yet? Oh crap what did I hit my toe on?"

"Nope, but at least I remembered my night goggles."

"hmmm. I'm getting too old for this crap."

"Maybe, but you have been out of the field a while. You know that old body of yours is getting rusty. Speaking of which, when was the last time was you were on a date? Oh here we go."

The light came on and Arthur Graham shielded his eyes as the room became bright as a small sun. "Blinded first by darkness, now by light. There must be some sort of joke in there somewhere."

Virginia twirling her night goggles around her finger, sits down on the edge of the toe stubbing desk and waits for the answer she already knows she won't believe. "Definitely. Alright Art, if you won't answer that one, how about you tell me again why on my first day back in DC I had to leave in the middle of the night to help you get into a CIA records office?"

"I need some information that is not in the regular personnel files."

Virginia crosses her arms and just stares. She obviously is not going to lift a finger until she is satisfied.

"Bryce Larkin confidential psyche report if you must know."

"You are the Director now, you could just ask for them?"

Graham goes and disables the alarm system on the file cabinets "If I did that, then the Doctor would redact his private notes and I would have to go through a ton of hoops to get around the patient confidentially aspect. I want to know everything. There is a lot riding on this."

Virginia glances over at Art at the file cabinet and trying to look board states "So in that case Larkin starts with 'L' why are you in the 'B's".

Grabbing a file he sits down at the desk. "Charles Irving Bartowski – Know his friends and know him."

He goes over to the photocopier and the machine starts warming up for the job at hand.

"OH Crap Art that is soooo lame. Now why don't you try telling me the truth, this isn't about Larkin or Bartowski. What is so special about Special Agent Sarah Lisa Walker that you go to all this trouble? I've read her file, she is probably the best technical spy you have. Seduction expert, knife expert, deep cover experience that is second only to myself and Hawk. But her psyche eval indicates that she does not have anywhere near enough emotional assimilation skills to keep it up. You can only get that with time, and she is so good at what she does that she has been pushed up the ranks before se can get that skill set to mature. She will probably go Vulcan like so many other rushed agents, and you will have to put her into a semi-normal life at a desk or discharge her from service, if she survives that long."

"Not this one, I want her to get out before that happens?"

Virginia looks at her old friend with something she not seen is years; honest to gosh, good old fashion worry "Art, what is going on? That night years we were all at dinner, just before we went to Australia you said she could replace you in 10 years time. What changed your mind?"

Art gets up and switches files on the copier. He can feel too tiny eyes burning holes in his back. "It's complicated."

"So is any Shakespeare play Hawk ever dragged me kicking and screaming too, but I still attempted to figure it out, if for no other reason that he calls me a busy body." Virginia gives him her infamous innocent that made many give up their secrets.

"Hummmm" Graham sat down and sighed. He knew that the only way to get her to stop was to give in In all the years they have known each other, he never knew her to give up on anything important when it had to do with family. And in his blunder to cover it up, he slipped. He showed how important Sarah is to him, now it is important it her. '_Oh crap, I am really getting soft."_

"You knew I grew up in New Orleans, and worked in the local PD there. My partner there was a guy called Sebastian. His sister, Lisa was a good woman and they were my first family really, since I was orphaned. She got involved with a con man and had a child. Short version, Sebastian was killed in the line of duty only two months after I joined the CIA. At his funeral I found out that her con man ran off with her daughter, and that people who he conned was looking for her to get to him. I got her into witness protection, not that it did much good, she was found shot three weeks later. I made her a promise that I would find her daughter and protect her. That night when I saw you in the hospital room I finally found them, it took 17 years but I found him and sent him to jail. I almost shot him that night actually, if it was not for a picture of Lisa I saw in Sarah's room I might have."

Virginia looked at him; it fit; now she understood "Oh crap, so Lisa's daughter became Sarah Walker. The only way you knew how to protect her was to train her to protect herself."

Graham barely nodded "I was planning to put her into a office position, but she excelled at the farm so much, and when she came to me for assignment I thought of her as the daughter I never had, and I could not refuse her, even though I realized I became no better than her crappy father when he used her for cons."

Virginia got up and started pacing. "Continue"

"She eventually was given an assignment with Bryce in Spain. They were both young, good looking and they fell for each other. Their missions were simple; they played a newly wed couple and were to retrieve information on a group of gun importers, or track down a drug dealer, etc. At the end of the mission both of them would come to me separately and requested to work together again. I always said yes. I suppose I encouraged those two to have a relationship, thinking that he was making her happy. Then he went deep and then I thought he went rogue. She was hurt and I was glad that Casey shot him. She had to do something, she wanted to fix things. She was already in LA when I tracked her down. Enter Bartowski."

Art gets up and goes over to a water cooler in the corner, looking at the corner of his eyes to see if Virginia is satisfied. His hopes dashed as she is still staring, and now tapping her foot with her arms crossed. He drank about three glasses of water then continued.

"Just after Bryce came back to life and it was decided to send him back into deep cover. Really I just wanted to keep him away from Sarah I suppose. The next day I flew down because I wanted to see with my own eyes if she was really alright. The status report we had the night before I knew something was wrong. I knocked on her door and she hugged me for five straight minutes before I went inside.

We talked a lot about Bryce, the mission. Around supper and then we went to a place for Chinese.

Graham noticing that the copier was finished got up and put away the files. Virginia knew there was a lot more; Graham obviously wasn't comfortable with the rest.

"We were almost done when Bartowski called. That's when I saw it. Her whole demeanour changed. She tried to keep professional but I knew that look. I had seen it enough times when a certain agent fresh from the farm was sent undercover as a medical assistant to a CIA Doctor turned spy. She was completely in love with her asset, but like somebody else in this room, refused to admit it to herself."

Virginia smile was from ear to ear, as her cheeks turned a light shade of red. "So unlike Hawk and myself, Bartowski is a civi – Sarah can leave and have a relationship with him. There are precautions but it can be made to look like she was becoming a burnout. With what she had been though, it would be justified and no one would ever think any less of her."

Graham shook his head "I talked to Major Casey after I left Sarah's and asked what he thought was going on. I was shocked when he covered. He defended their actions and their feelings as being a huge benefit to the operation and denied anything unprofessional is going on between the two. I was floored, and I went over his file again when I retuned to DC. For someone that was one step away from a total burnout, Sarah and / or Chuck made him a better agent than he had ever been."

They turn off the light, relock the doors and started headed to the elevator when Virginia states "Why do I have the feeling that when he left LA, he was sent to Australia. That would explain why those guilty feelings that blurted out of him, they were still fresh."

"Exactly, after Hawk filled me in on Bryce's Vulcan moment, I asked Vince to move his practice to LA in case something happened with Sarah. I was not sure what but I was afraid for Sarah and wanted to cover all the bases. If Bryce, who had a lot thicker skin then she did, could break down like that. It made me worry all the more for her."

"I also wanted a backup for myself. Someone that knew what could happen and could be there for them if I could not be. I knew you were coming here, but Hawk was going deep again, so no idea when he could be free."

Virginia steps in front of Graham as they get onto the elevator "What are you not telling me Art?"

"Someone very dangerous wants me dead. There have been two attempts already this month and they got through a lot of CIA precautions. It was dumb luck that I'm still alive. Rumour is the head of the Fulcrum intersect project is more than a little annoyed at me because I stopped him from getting Orion on more than a few occasions. Virginia, please protect her for me if something happens."

And with that the elevator opens, and Graham then slowly turns to face the little lady "Virginia. The man she is in love with, is the son of Orion."

She watches as he enters the men's room door, one of the many sayings from Shakespeare come to mind. _'MacBeth if I remember correctly.'_

"All our yesterday have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more,"

"_Oh Crap, this will not end well…"_

_--_

_An_

_Hi All_

_Yes I did get the Shakespeare quote in so the challenge has been met Mr Anonymous! I'm not sure why I get so many anonymous pm's. I do shower really I do._

_So usual disclaimers. I do not own anything in the Chuck Universe. Nothing nada zip zero. I make no money off this and indeed other than the enjoyment of the reviews, and the occasional great feeling I get when I realize that I actually wrote this (my wife thinks that it is a pod person impersonating me). Neigh I Say! I don't own Shakespeare either._

_No beta, still looking for one, but with me not being at the computer much, I am not going to start begging until I have net at home again. Any volunteers? (hint hint)._

_Also one thing. I've been watching the Chuck DVD of season 1 at home waiting for things to come together, and I was wondering. So you think it is too late to start the Chuck Me Monday Challenge?_

_Please Review and tell me what you think Please Review and tell me what you think_

_Please Review and tell me what you think_

_Please Review and tell me what you think_

_POLLY WANT A CRACKER Please Review and tell me what you think_

_Please Review and tell me what you think_

_Please Review and tell me what you think_

_Just Chuck_


	5. Burnt Flapjacks

AN

Guess What? Disclaimers and a proper note at the end of the fluff. For some reason I like having them there!

_(bad elevator music playing in the background.)_

(Various pictures Chuck float by on Buy More Green)

(Announcer with a very deep voice starts narration:)

"Time still flows slowly in Fan Fiction,"

"Yet A Crappy Author seems to want to drive the readers nuts."

(Background changes from Buy More Green to Red or Salmon: Sarah float by:)

"And now, Will the Super Agent be able to 'Fix This?'"

"All this and less as we continue with the 'Crappy Days' of Charles Irving Bartowski"

(Pictures of Chuck and Sarah together are suddenly shot up by someone grunting off camera and fade to black).

Chapter 5

U.F.M. and Way too much Chuck

--

"Gross Morgan. No wonder I loathe you!" Ellie shook her head and doing her best not to look at Morgan walks from the living room to the safety of her bedroom.

Morgan follows Ellie with his eyes and sighs loudly when he hears the door shut. "What was that for? Honestly sometimes I just cannot understand the fairer sex. Really – All I did was just give a standard earth style greeting, like saying how's it hanging or bang on or am I a tucker…'

Anna then looks at Morgan, and seeing Devin about to go into his 'awesome advice' mode pulls him towards Chuck's room. "Oh Morgan! Come with me!"

"What ever you say my little love potato." and they scamper off.

Devin just stood in the same spot, scratching himself on the top of his head not sure what just happened or what to do next. SNIF SNIF "_OH Crap the pancakes Not Awesome" _and runs towards the kitchen just as the fire alarm goes off.

--

Casey and Forrest are walking across the courtyard as a very slow snail's pace.

Humph #78 (Sulking) "Crap, let me see if I can sum this up in one easy sentence. I'm being benched for doing my job. How stupid is that? Bartowski should be benched in a bunker, preferably with Walker chained up just out of reach. Not me in dullsville. This new director needs an attitude adjustment, and I have just the C4 to do it with."

Grunt #32 (Don't give a ..) "Forrest, just make the best of it. You will be here for a few months and then you can go back to blowing up whatever it is that gets you hot and bothe… What the crap is that alarm?"

Forrest and Casey head towards the font door when they are privileged to witness their first U.F.M. (an Undeniably Flying Morgan) violently being expelled from the Morgan Door. The little man then crawls behind a growling Casey. "Now, now my little love turnip, this situation is being blown totally out of proportion and it certainly does not mean that there is a need for violence or the piercing of any part of my body with blunt instruments. Ellie is MARRIED to Devin remember my little kiwi, even though she will always understandably hold a (sigh) very special place in my heart, she is nothing compared to the love I hold for you - my Anna Banana. Casey will vouch for me, won't you big guy, tell her she has nothing to worry about. Whoa hey, excuse me but aren't you the totally incredibly hot stripper from Devin's bachelor party. John you sly dog you. When did you too hook up? Man I miss everything around here. You got to stop holding out on me man, details. Anna we have to move into this complex with Chuck and John. I don't think we have been properly introduced I am... Anna! OUCH! GLUB!"

Casey stepped away as Anna grabbed Morgan by the wrist as he went to shake Forrest's hand and then forced his head into the fountain. "Maybe you need a cold shower in some crappy water" Anna screamed at him.

HUMPH #88 (Semi-impressed) "Well she can use some work on the stealth approach, but I give it a four out of ten. Good for someone with out training though." Forrest leans over to whisper to Casey "Casey, Who the crap are they again?"

GRUNT #103 (Serves you right) "Hey moron, what the hell are you still doing here?" Casey then turned to Forrest "She is Anna Wu, fellow nerd herder to Lady and butt beard's much better other half. She is not bad at hand to hand combat, more of a six out of ten, especially with when she is wielding a tripod. Don't ask. Morgan AKA the moron in the Lake is LADY's best freak forever and was a green shirt at the Buy More until his stomach won out and he went to so something stupid. Can't remember exact details, it was just too mind numbing at the time."

Humph # 6 (Funny) "_Great well I guess the Asset would be annoyed if I let this one drown, and since muscles is not lifting a finger, I might as well. I doubt that he can kill anyone with his mind."_

"Hey err Anna, Take his head out of the water. Now! Anna - Listen all you have to do is scare them a little then work those fears. It is much more effective then actually bringing them to the brink of death. Besides if his…beard makes a mess, you will have to clean it up" Forrest tells Anna. "Name is Alex Forrest and Casey told me yours is Anna, we girls have to stick together."

Anna lets go, a little shocked "I guess don't want him dead, but he needs to be taught a lesson."

Casey, taking this as a cue, walks over to Morgan and using one hand grabs him by the front of the shirt, picks him up off the ground and puts him at eye level "Ok you short bearded buffoon, Listen very carefully I will say this only once. Whatever Alex and I are is non…" Casey stops as Morgan, like the fountain beside him spits out water hitting Casey right between the twinkle in his eyes.

Forrest grabs Casey's arm as he pulls back for the punch, Anna grabs Morgan by the waist and pulls. Morgan goes tinkle on Casey's feet.

GRUNT # 42 (SQUASH BUG) "Why I am autta… WHAT THE CRAP!"

And they all froze as Chuck wearing a women's trench coat, and apparently nothing else shuffled quickly by. The coat was barley long enough to cover any private area, however it was so tight that really it never covered a darn thing.

"Morgan, great to see you back! Call of duty soon buddy! Anna looking good! Casey count to ten and watch the back swing big guy, Alex I owe you one if you stop the insanity. Excuse me. Something National security emergency type of important to do!" and without missing a beat he went through the Morgan door closed the drapes.

Thirty whole seconds must have gone by before anyone moved, breathed or spoke.

"Wow Sarah has really good taste in coats." Anna whispered to no one in particular.

HUMPH #992 (Weird Crap) "Casey either something is seriously wrong with the Asset or was there something big you left out of the briefing?" Forrest leaned over and whispered in Casey's ear.

GRUNT #3205 (TILT)

"Chuck buddy don't leave me here!" and with Anna still holding tightly on to Morgan's waist, he pulls them towards the Morgan door.

--

Chuck however did not stop after closing the drapes; he headed straight out the bedroom door, stopping long enough to confirm that it was Ellie voice coming from her bedroom, and probably on the phone since he only heard one voice. He then followed the sound of the blender and the smell of smoke.

"OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP Devin I am glad you are here. This is DEFCON 5, Red Alert, Life or Death here. Sarah is going to sooo hurt me, and not in a good, wonderful or awesome way here!"

Devin stopped using the giant foam finger with the number of his favourite football quarterback to wave the smoke away from the fire alarm and turned to his new brother in law "Chuckster. Calm down and breathe. Hey little bro you made incredible time getting here. How many speed laws did you break?"

'Never mind that! Devin focus - what am I going to do about this!" He grabs his jacket and holds it out wide.

Now in Chuck's defence, Devin always said that he was pretty freaked out and everything happened at once. Even though he years later looked at this as the most embarrassing moment of his life, Chuck never really learned to appreciate the humour of the situation.

Devin took one look and started laughing. "Little bro that's awesome!"

Morgan and Anna came running up from behind to see what looked like a whole lot of flashing going on and Devin waving a sign with a big old '10' on it. "Oh my, Chuck man, maybe we should talk about this new lifestyle…"

Chuck turned to face them forgetting to re-wrap himself.

"I've seen bigger drives" Anna giggled grabbing Morgan tightly.

"Chuck dude, don't listen to her. Hey, isn't it suppose to… err ride up with wear?!"

Then the front door smashes opens revealing Casey and Forrest's head peering in on either side.

GRUNT #45 (Unimpressed) "Look Alex, LADY has a floppy drive"

HUMPH #76 (Snickers) "Looks more like a flash drive to me"

Chuck who has been turning redder and redder, starts running toward his room Anna however wanting to 'take a better look at the… um… coat' manages to grab it from the flailing Chuck as he passes.

The famous Bartowski timing was true to form that day. Chuck just got away from Anna, the fire alarm goes off again and Ellie suddenly steps out in the hall catching an eyefull just before he streaks into his room.

"Awww Chuck, that sooo cute!"

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP" Chuck Slams the Door "CAPTAIN AWESOME, ARE YOU FREE?"

"In a minute Bro, something's on fire here!" "_Not Awesome!"_

Ellie snickers "He's fine, Casey and 'it' is not concerned."

"So I guess we will see you in twenty for breakfast."

"Yeah and Sarah, love his underwear by the way!"

"Ok see you in ten then. No I won't tell him."

"Sarah?…. Sarah?"

--

A/N

Thanks for not putting out a contract on me after the last chapter. I wanted to give back something and I am told that I not known for being a nice guy. That last chapter helped prove it.

I've read through it and as you all know my grammar is not great, and I have no beta, proof-reader or life for that matter.

Usual disclaimers, as always apply. See previous chapters but to sum it up I own nothing, but rent a couple of characters that are not in this chapter, but lurk in the shadows. NBC owns everything Chuck related, or someone does. I can't rent those, I make no money from these to be able to afford to breathe.

Also I spent some time watching some old BBC shows, so those references belong to someone else as well.

Please review. Those who sent reviews for the last chapter I will be replying over the next couple of days now that I have net again! Answering all the work stuff first, then play!


	6. Oops, Did I do that?

Time line : 10 minutes before Chuck's fashion show at Casa Bartowski

Sarah rested her head on the cool conference table in Castle. Her CIA training once again coming in handy she started making plans and gathering her strength to fix the latest 'complication' in her and Chuck's relationship.

"_Oh crap, is there some little gremlin out there whose job is just to keep me and Chuck frustrated and apart. It's like the plot of some bad 80's sitcom that we seem to be living! So help me if this continues into next summer I will go postal!"_

Wallowing is self pity is not a feeling that she was use to, or something she ever felt until this assignment. She realized that she really did not like it one bit. Then she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, she almost hoped it was someone calling to say 'You've been PUNKED!'" as a camera crew runs out of the weapons storage area. Fishing it out a suddenly feeling of DOOM washed over her as she stared at the smiling face she thought was looking straight through her into her troubled sole. '_Just remember to breathe'_

"Hi Ellie."

"No, I am many things this morning, but awesome is not among them."

"No unfortunately I got a good FULL night's sleep last night."

"Oh Crap, What?"

"How did you hear.."

"Calm down.."

"How do you hear about that?"

"Who just a second, Ellie let me expla.."

"What..."

"Slow down..."

"ummm....did you just call me 'sis'?"

"Mind, no of course not. It's … I just can't believe how good that sounds right now."

"Thanks, you too"

"Yeah... ok... breakfast sounds great, Chuck's not with me right now, I'm at the Orange Orange and he is at my apartment."

"Casey and Forrest are coming too, OK..."

"Yes I will try to stay between you and her. I'm not that found of her either actually"

"No, it has to do with an incident with explosives and a safe. Remind me later and I'll tell you the whole story"

"Err Ellie how exactly did you hear that there might have been ummm problems last night?"

"No, we haven't talked about moving in yet. But I was planning on asking him about it today."

"umm Ellie you still did not answer me about how you heard about last night"

"No we can't impose upon you like that, besides the government will be paying."

"Oh for sure, I promise it will be closer to you guys than my current apartment."

"Ellie I know you are upset about everything, and that you are still absorbing what happened last night"

"Yes it's still a little surreal to me too. After everything we did to keep you out of it and safe, then the new director happened."

"How did you know about the ..."

"He called?"

"Chuck stressed? Why do you think he is stressed?"

"No I don't think it was stress Ellie. Seriously what on earth could Chuck be stressed about?"

"Oh Crap, No! You can't do that!"

"He is still your little brother..."

"Well for one I have big plans for that particular piece of anatomy?"

"Oh Crap - Chuck said what?"

"Devin said WHAT?"

"THEY SAID THAT?"

"THAT IS THE LEAST OF HIS WORRIES"

"TO HECK WITH ANATOMY, YOUR BROTHER MIGHT JUST GET A BIT LITTLER!

"WAIT WAIT WHAT THE..."

"ELLIE TALK TO ME! ELLIE WHAT IS ALL THAT NOISE! IS EVERYTHING OK!"

"ELLIE IS THAT CHUCK!"

_'Walker NO Mrs Bartowski Calm down Go to your happy place - remember to breath 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10'_

"No I'll be there is ten!"

Sarah hung up the phone and ran into the weapon storage room and grabbed the biggest, sharpest, scariest throwing knife she had and a tranq gun and bolted up the steps of Castle. Virginia calmly continued eating her coffee flavored frozen yogurt, shaking her head in disbelief and staring at the video playback from last night again. The last thing Sarah heard as the Castle door close was "Remember if you break it, you had better be able to fix it!".

–

Devin knocked on Chuck's door and when he heard what he thought sounded like a sick sea lion's whimper, he assumed that was the OK to enter.

But no matter how hard he tried, he could not help but giggle at the sight of Chuck, completely embarrassed in his HARD DRIVE undies, rushing around his room looking for something else to wear, but everything he grabbed seemed to be more INSERT SLOGAN HERE tightie whities which immediately got thrown randomly around the room. '_Mental note, must thank Morgan for storing that crate of undies that 'accidentally' fell from a Large-Mart truck in Chuck's bedroom without asking. Awesome!'_

"Ahem. Ok Chuck. Let's get serious here. Now you left the..((he whispered) supersecret spy hideout) last night with Sarah. And from there..."

Chuck finally finding a normal pair of undies and clean jeans he motioned for Devin to turn around, "Devin (sigh) We went straight back to her apartment."

" OK Chuck, forgetting that I am a doctor, and your here for advice on something you just asked me to turn around not to see. You do understand that I have seen many free wiggling worms in my day? Ok bro, why don't we just cut to the chase. You were and Sarah were 'interrogating' each other then..."

Chuck who is still a bright shade of red jumps in bed and starts changing under the covers. "Yeah, we were making out, she went into the washroom, told me to get comfortable. I got on the bed and next thing I knew it was morning and....

"And what Chuck..."

"She was waking me up, in a way that that was better than any dream I ever had. And then nothing."

"Nothing. At all."

"Nope, there were more sparks flying than a fourth of day fireworks, but it was... CASEY!"

"Nope I don't mind, and if you do I still don't " Casey come forcefully through the door and slams it behind him, right on Morgan's who was trying to slip in behind. "So you are telling me you could not salute Walker last night? What's the matter, your little girly panties cut off the circulation to your brain. Now I have a certifiable CIA assassin in a bad mood and needing it in a bad way and you can't deliver. You created the monster, you had better do something about it. And don't look at me to get you out of this one LADY, I'm not interested in that job. "

Chuck gulped a few times and with the look of a dead man turned to Devin. "owwww" is quietly heard outside the door.

"OK Chuck, usually I don't do this as there are other things that will work, and this situation calls for drastic means, so here is what we are going to do. We will head down to the hospital after breakfast and we will get some blood tests done, then if all goes well we will go to the pharmacy and we will pickup up some little blue pills. That should take you off the hit list and make you awesome again with the better half."

" Trust me that won't help. That's not the problem Devin. "("Morgan that was plain dumb. Let's go find Ellie I think it's broken" Anna's voice was ignored by those inside the room).

Casey grabs Chuck by the waistband just sticking out of the jeans and nearly lifts him off the ground. "OK numb nuts, since you do not seem to grasp the reality of the situation let me narrate it for you, in n i c e s l o w , e a s y w o r d s . She will come after you and when she uses her knives to remove your jellied manhood she will still be looking for something else to do for the fifty eight seconds left in that minute. That makes any male in the western half of these great Unites States of America a target, and that includes me Lady. Now it is time to take one for the team, go with your brother in law to the hospital and pick up the blue pills now." and with that Casey threw Chuck at Devin.

"It's not going to work." Chuck looked down at his feet and as mumbled something.

"Dude this stuff is designed to work for people that have wang issues. No worries little Bro, we will get you all fixed."

"I sa... tho... ht"

GRUNT #92 (SPEAK GIRL SPEAK) and grabs Chuck by the throat and pushes him by the wall. Devin goes to intervene but one look at Casey pointing his revolver (Devin wonders where he pulled that from) at his family jewels is enough to get him to back off.

"Casey – You are hurting the Intersect!Calm- Find your calm center Casey. Think bombs, Reagan, a nice shiny Uzi, Crown Vics... "

"One last time so we can all hear it or I will be happy to kill you with my Mind. You've met her" Casey holds up his gun and points it at Chuck's eye "it short mind your manners, and you are being rude by mumbling. So why don't you speak up before Mind decides to speak to you. And she is loud and never mumbles."

"I said I tried some of those last night! Now I need to breath..."

Casey dropped Chuck like a rag doll and grunted #43 (Explain moron, and this time tell us everything.)

Chuck sits down on the bed "Last night when Virginia and Sarah went up to the Orange Orange, I went into the Med bay to see how Ellie was coping. While I was waiting for Ellie and Devin to finish with the director. I noticed the... item .. was stocked in the red medicine dispenser in the corner and I was a little nervous, first time with Sarah and lets face it, she is CIA trained. Besides she was with Bryce, and he was legendary in the field even before he was trained in seduction. I figured I might need all the help I could get, I would never forgive myself if I really disappointed Sarah. So I helped myself to a few..."

Devin starts pacing around the room with one hand on his chin, the other on his elbow, eyebrow raised and doing his best detective impersonation "So you therefore took many of the pills in order to make sure that your pistol was fully loaded!"

GRUNT (OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP) "The red cabinet. Oh Crap Start Drinking OJ you numbskull" Casey puts his gun back and walks out the door "For.. Alex sorry we need to leave, Ellie sorry we can't stay but something just came up." _"Oh Crap I did not just say that"_

Forrest moved from the chair furthest away from Ellie and walked quickly to the door behind Casey.

"Casey. Oh Crap Casey what the heck is going on!" Forrest said when they got into his apartment.

"LADY helped himself to some NSA look a-likes last night from the Med bay. He thought he was getting some little blue pills but instead what he took was 'little peeps'. They were designed to be switched with the real drug and it makes the subject very aroused, then quickly fall asleep leaving the agent time to do what ever they needed to do. The side effect if you take too much of them is that they act in reverse so the hard drive stays a floppy, and I have no idea how long. The effect is multiplied with alcohol and I insisted on them having a toast with me before they left last night. Walker will think I put LADY up to it since I usually laugh at his manhood anyways." Casey pauses and snickered "and to be honest it almost sounds like something I would do. So right now Walker is probably on here way here and I want to make sure I am not. If I were you, I would be right on my heels. She is not found of you on a good day and right now is not in the mood to start making new friends."

Running out the door Forrest yells "I have a safe house in the LA area that I set up for emergencies, not known to the agency. What say we head there and you can call on your NSA brains in a test tube to whip up a fix for this mess."

Grunt#153 (OK).

Humph#872 (This is a fine mess you gotten me in to).

Casey and Forrest jump into the Crown Vic and just made it out of the parking lot when a Porsche 911 skidded into the other end and comes to a scratching halt.

A/N

This is what I had started. I might rework it later. Family drama has made it hard to remember what is funny right now (and before you say it, I think I had some funny stuff occasionally) and I have had no time to myself at all with work being really really nuts. But I needed to relax a bit and while I have a day off work so forgive the spelling , grammar and whatever else is wrong. I am going to start e-mailing around for a Beta reader again. Anyone who wants to volunteer let me know please.

Usual disclaimers apply – I do not own nothing, Not any characters from the Chuck TV Show, or any other TV show reference. The few characters that I created aren't owned by me either (I'm married for many many years, and as she puts it 'What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine'). So needless to say WE make no money off any of this.

Next chapter will not be so long in coming, and yes I promise I will finish the story. Four chapters are roughed out and it will probably be about 12 or so.

I've started on something unrelated, going back to the bad night sleep. That should be posted today as well.

Review below please. I put another sleepless night up as well, if you get time to read and review that I would live some feedback.


	7. Time Ripples

AN

Hello everyone. I messed up a bit, I had this all mapped out and because of this little thing called LIFE I goofed and put things out in the wrong order, and now I am playing catch up again.

So I did a major rewrite of this chapter and tried something new to hopefully fill in the gaps to make the rest of the story flow better. I think it is the longest chapter I have ever written, so if anyone falls asleep, you are forgiven and you need to watch the golf channel for an hour (who knew there really was a golf channel). Not as funny as previous chapters, but think if it as crack filler between the funny chapters

DISCLAIMER: I would love to own a tiny bit of the Chuck universe, but I don't. I have no claim at all on it, and if I every make money on this crap, then I would probably keel over and have a heart attack.

--

Time.

It's a funny thing.

It goes usually in one direction.

Forwards.

But sometimes.

Just sometimes.

If you look just at the right moment.

You will see echos of the past.

The not to distant Past...

… or more precise 90 minutes before Director Graham blew up real good like...

"Knock Knock"

Major John Casey grabbed his gun and approached his front door. Activating his alarm system he grunts as his scanner is being obviously jammed from an outside source.

"I'm here to see if you are interested in attending an USA Autos of the future show this evening" Came the voice on the other side of the door.

Casey's eyes go a little wide. That was the code phrase for a level gold communication, only delivered in person. There is never any written trail. That explains the high tech tools. "I'm not sure, what is the main attraction?"

"Crown Vic's in yellow with purple polka-dots."

Major Casey quickly opens the door and the woman crosses the threshold and pulls out a jamming device and places it on the table before the Major even gets the door closed. Then she produces her ID and when Casey makes no move to see it, places it besides the device.

"Major I bring a priority message from Director Graham from the CIA. Your attempt at the removal of one Chuck Bartowski is actually a ruse to try and bring a person of interest out of hiding. The Director believes that an assassination attempt might get him out to save Bartowski. If that does happen your job is to capture this person ALIVE. However he is incredibly dangerous and an electronics wizard. We believe he has tapped into the communications grid and that is why the Director had to be so forceful on the removal of Bartowski in the video conference earlier with him and General Beckman. There can be no doubt that there is a kill order to anyone who might be listening in.

Grunt #654 (Skeptic) "So why are you from the CIA telling me this and not my own people?"

"Right now what we are acting on is information that predates Project Omaha, and therefore Pre-NSA involvement. If this turns out to be an active lead, it could change the very mission that you and your group are currently performing. And no Major, I cannot give you anymore detail with out clearance from the President. The Director did want me to tell you this was a project started under the order of President Reagan."

Casey snaps to attention. "But why Bartowski, he's a computer freak who Larkin was stupid enough to send important information to, I still think it was an accident that he does not want to own up to."

The little lady smiles as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a letter with the presidential seal on it. "This is a order that states if anyone from the outside attempts to stop your attempt at elimination, you are to capture him by any means necessary. Even so for the moment Bartowski cannot be harmed. Also there is attached another order stating that you are to follow the orders of Agent CP Percy if and when it becomes necessary for him to come on-scene, and it supersedes anyone but Director Graham or the President. And no I cannot give you details on why that may happen."

Seeing the look of skepticism in Casey's face she looks him directly in the eye.

"Make the attempt look real Major, if anything goes wrong, or that it is determined that the person of interest will not be showing, Agent Walker will be called and told immediately to secure the asset. There will be no mention of this to anyone in the NSA and there be no follow up unless the person of interest shows up. There is a phone number on a card in the envelope. Memorize and destroy immediately. Good evening Major. Happy fake hunting."

The little lady collects her belongings and with Casey holding the door, they only nod slightly (OK she nods and he grunts) as she walks away.

–

The Present (minus about 4 hours)

Walking slowly from his kitchen to his couch with coffee cup in hand, Casey was not looking forward to the upcoming meeting with General Beckman. As much as he enjoyed the new CIA's bosses methods, he knew that the General would not. He was not in the least surprised when at 0311 his cell phone rang and at 0313 the General appeared on his screen.

"General, thought you would call." Casey in all the years he has worked with the General has never seen her look as upset or as mad as she was on the screen in front of her. '_So I guess the guy can bug her even more than Bartowski does."_

He had remained fully dresses and now stood at attention. Behind him multiple empty coffee cups and a half full plate of 'Ronald Reagan' cookies that the puppy's sister gave him earlier this week. This actually seemed to make the general roll her eyes and have to take a deep cleansing breath before she spoke.

"Colonel Casey, please bring me up to date on what transpired tonight. I hear that the new Director of the CIA was by and made changes to the operation without consulting me. I want details, what did he mess up tonight."

He never truly enjoyed his conversations with his current superior, however he was a good soldier and a good soldier knows how to observe and report. So that is what he did. The pleasure that he got from her squirming and suddenly snapping her handle off her coffee mug was just an added bonus.

And in the end the General sat back and sighed "Oh Crap". Then taking a couple more breaths she turned to the camera. "Very well Colonel, the NSA will not be shut out of this operation, Your job will be to update me privately in addition to those with the group. Of course no record or mention of these conversations will be made. I will also set up a new secure e-mail for conversations and files you may want to send me. Beyond that we cannot lose influence with the asset, so you are going to become his new best friend. Since Agent Walker will become reluctant to take orders from me before checking in with that coffee swilling trench coat, I think it might be useful to become friendly with Agent Forrest. From past dealings with her, her and you seems to have similar perspectives on things. Use that to our advantage. I have a meeting with birdbrain in a couple of hours. We will have a group meeting at 0900 your time. Also I was thinking about expanding your cover. Expect more information in a few days." She was reaching over to hit the end button when:

"General, forgive me for asking, but are you implying that I seduce Agent Forest?"

Casey could swear that he could see steam coming out of both the General's ears. "Colonel, and I use that term loosely, that seems to be the way you play the game out there in LA. Agent Walker seems to be able to inflict considerable influence on the asset, now we have to do what we can to change the balance back to our side. Since you have blown any chance with Walker, try the new kid on the block." And with that the screen went blank.

"_Oh Crap, why me???"_

Casey collapses unto the couch_ 'LADY's best friend. Heck no I will not talk about sandwiches on a deserted island, or if spend hours discussing if Stargate was better than Firefly. The General wants to test my ability to crack under pressure. That must be it!"_

The Real and Present ummm Present!...

"HOW DARE HE KEEP ME WAITING!"

She really hated waiting. She was a woman of action and this inactivity did not suit her at all.

She tapped her fingers on the desk, she got up and paced around the room, noticing that a lot of Grahams pictures were still in his old office. Finally she sat down again, tapping her fingers and even though she did not realize it, her left eye had started developing a small twitch.

General Diane Beckman was not use to waiting. Especially when the other party was late. It didn't matter that they didn't have a formal appointment for over an hour and a half yet. He was late.

Since her prison break from that horrible coffee shop last night, she did nothing but curse and swear at and about the new CIA director. The thought of John Casey water-boarding him for weeks seem appropriate punishment to her, although the pain would be nothing compared to the musical interlude she had to suffer.

Now she was waiting. Twenty of her security force was waiting with her in his office, and around the new lady behind the desk just outside his office. _'This receptionist seems to be clueless. I assume she was just assigned this morning. Crap, she didn't even have clearance yet to see his calendar. At least I made someone uncomfortable today, she is nearly wetting her pants.'_

When the phone rang the receptionist nearly jumped twelve feet off her seat. One of Beckman's security picked up the phone before she got herself together and after a second he put it on speakerphone.

"General, so sorry I was not in my office when you arrived, but I was not expecting you this early. But I am glad you came to see me this bright and cheerio morning. Tell me how was your evening?"

"Director Percy why do you not come over and we will grab a coffee together. We still have lots to talk about." _'That and the fact I'm going to have you arrested for kidnapping, false imprisonment, oh crap, if I can find a charge for making bad coffee I will add it later!"_

"What a wonderful idea General, I try never to turn down a coffee invite. Right now I am in the restaurant across the street having some pancakes, why don't you join us over here. I'll place an order for some with a side of bacon."

General Beckman smiling from ear to ear was not a sight that anyone in the room thought they would live to see, but the sight sent shivers down everyone spines "Sounds delightful Percy. See you in a few minutes."

–

Walking into the restaurant, she noticed the Director waving at her from the corner booth. Also even though she brought all of her guards with her, there place was packed with other guards, all agency men if her years of experience told her anything it was to recognize agents at a glance. If this got ugly then it will be one heck of a shootout. That pleased here more than anything, she was hoping that a show of force might deter any unpleasant gun play but what she knew of him, Percy would not go down without a fight. His loss. She picked the twenty top shooters she had available on a moments notice to be with her.

Walking up to the booth, she cleared her voice, and a small smile crossed her face: "Director CP Percy, I place you under arrest on more charges than I can rhyme off in the time I have left before I have to do real work. Oh and by the way please resist I really would like a reason to add another charge."

"Oh I really don't think that will not be necessary, Diane"

For the first time Beckman noticed that there was someone else in the booth. She immediately went straight as a board and her left eye started to twitch very noticeably.

"Mr. President, what an honor to have you present while I arrest this person."

The President held up his hand and after taking a drink of coffee stood up and looked down at the twitching woman. "General Beckman I am aware of what has occurred last night and how you overstepped your grounds as much as he did. Agents Carmichael, Walker and Major Casey saved my life just before I was elected and what the Director did for them I fully sanction."

The President finished his coffee in one gulp and grabbed his coat "This little contest between you ends now. There will be no arrests, charges, gun-play and concerts. You too have to learn to work together. The project you too are in charge of is too important to let you two children mess it up. So why don't you two sit down and eat breakfast together. Get to know each other. That is an order people. There will be no beer on the patio for you two. Oh crap and I almost forgot I want a plan on my desk by this time tomorrow on the the start of version 3.0. Well I think that settles everything. Good morning everyone. Play nice." With that the President and his men head out the front door.

Hawk yawned "Well I suppose that you have been brought up to date with the changes in the project I started last night." Hawk new that she would have already called Casey and read the report that he had e-mailed over last night.

"Yes." The General stared at him "Lets get something straight, I really don't think that this was a good idea. If something happens to Walker or Bartowski the other will probably go to pieces, but if allowed to expand on those feelings, then I see nothing but trouble . Especially from Bartowski. It is too big of a risk to the intersect and leaving Casey there to pick up the pieces places a huge demand on my personnel in a field that he is not his specialty."

"You forget that I will have CIA cadets there on practicals as well. Having them there gives real reasons for the instructors that will be there and of course for the supporting personnel. I've opened it up to NSA as well so if you want to send over a few people over you can." Looking at his plate, he can't help but smile when he finds the eggs and bacon hidden under his pancake seem to be arranged in a smiley face. _"oh crap, when did Virginia have time to talk to the cook here too/"_.

One of the CIA guards comes up and places Beckmans food down in front of her before turning back towards the kitchen. Grabbing the fork, Beckman starts in on her food. One quick glance and Hawk saw no particular order to her food's placement. Verification complete.

"Now as for the support personal, Dr. Short, the CIA top shrink has been moved to LA to oversee the group. He had to be there for several reasons. I've e-mail you his file. I think we should give him a little latitude on Chuck's importance and purpose. We really should monitor Chuck since we are a go with three point zero, then it might help us overcome problems that creep up."

Hawk takes a sip of his coffee. And watches Beckman's face as he utters:

"By the way, you can cut the 'keeping them apart crap.' I know about the plans you have for the Bartowski children."

The General stops her fork halfway between the plate and her mouth for only a fraction of a second before replying: "I have no idea what you mean Director."

"Lets talk hypothetical then. Orion and Chuck they both have the ability to take the intersect because the first design was based on Orion's brain patterns. Those genetic patterns will be passed on to Ellie's and Chuck's children. Now lets take a look at Agent Walker's tests that she underwent for the Project Omaha showing that she is a very good candidate to be able to retain the Intersect. Indeed she was second only to Bryce Larkin. It is not a hard guess why you pushed Graham into pairing those two up, or later on to keep Walker in LA. It took some doing but lets just say I might have come across records that changes Walkers birth control pills to an experimental fertility drug geared towards the old super soldier plan, which you were in charge of until Clinton closed it down. Several of the drugs had side effects that eventually caused the program to be scrapped. For instance the fertility drug had a side effect that it will cloud a person's judgment enough by making her more emotional, and slightly suggestible. I believe that those on the drug never even realized that, and it was the shrinks that picked up on it. Anyways, after the test run you did with Walker and Larkin didn't lead to children since they used other forms of protection as well. It did show that the drug worked on her. Now when you discovered that Bartowski was Orion's son, her medication was quietly changed again. Only Graham noticed it and was able to rectify it before it made it's way to her, without your knowledge. That is why you gave her so much latitude and took many of those lame excuses they gave. I'm sure you were only you were hoping for a one night stand, and not expected those two to have real feelings for each other, but c'est la vie."

Hawk motions over the CIA agent holding the coffee pot and gets a refill.

The unflappable General Beckman starts to raise her coffee mug, however when she realized how much her hand is shaking, she puts it back down. Her eye twitching now reaching 100 miles per hour, still she seems unaware that she is doing it.

"Percy, you tell an interesting tale. Instead of going into medicine, you should have thought about writing. You come up with some far fetched ideas."

"Of course I have no idea how that story would end. I suppose that when the drug stopped you would guilt or otherwise force Walker into leaving LA, then probably with some other persuasive medication make her think that giving over the child would be in her best interest. Of course it would be a better ending than keeping Walker sedated the whole nine months then having an accident right after birth. But sometime a writer has to make a more enjoyable ending then what would be realistic."

"I seem to be done Director, Intersect 3.0 will apparently go ahead as scheduled. That means that if he likes it or not Bartowski and his offspring will be in the service of America for the rest of their lives. And that is beyond your ability to do anything about it."

The director sits back and gives the general the smile that drives her nuts "Not quite correct General. The President said he wanted a draft on his desk by morning, but he did not say Chuck and Sarah had to be the center of it." He reached onto his trench coat and pulls out a USB drive. "General before you start working on your plans, take a look at the files on this, and I'll set up a meeting for this late this week, if I can find a replacement for Virginia by then. oh crap, that's right we have a joint briefing with them in what thirty minutes. My office or yours General?" And with that he adds a wink and holds up his mug as if he is giving a toast.

The General picks up the drive and gets up to leave "You are even more troublesome than Graham was. We know what happened to him. Don't make the same mistakes."

Hawks drains his cup and look straight into the twitching eye of Beckman "General, if for a nano-second I thought or had proof that you had anything to do with Art's death, then our first meeting would have been very different and our second would have been at your funeral."

Hawk gets up and bends over to be eye to eye with the General, and lowering his voice:"But I should point out that he was family to me and my wife, and Sarah was family to him. That now makes her part of my family, and if Chuck is to be her husband as I suspect will happen then he and his family joins mine. And there is nothing this family will not do for each other. Are we clear General" He sits back down and motions the agent with the coffee pot to return for another refill.

The General with an 'Oh Crap' look on her face turns and stops at the exit. "Crystal Percy. I will be in my office reviewing the changes made last night. I believe that you are correct in your e-mail, the team should have some time off., we will do a split screen meeting and I will agree to you proposal to having them meet back in a week from Friday." She is now going to have to be more careful with Team Bartowski. The conference with Casey this morning might prove more useful then she first thought.

Future

Casey wakes up and slips away from the sleeping Agent Forrest. He crawls out of the military camouflage tent and looks around. Anybody seeing him would have been shocked. He had a long gray wig on, dressed like a hobo and a fake beard that came down to his bent buckle Setting up the tent that late last night meant they could not really scout the area as much as he would have liked.

However the view from the top of the mountain was, as someone other than Casey would say, breathtaking. He however just grunted in displeasure over the lack of cover from aerial surveillance.

He takes out his disposable phone and checks his e-mail when he hears someone approaching behind him. "Oh Crap, I'm getting too old for this evade and retreat tactics. Well we should be safe here for a few days at least." He looks over at the the jeep they acquired and wished that they didn't have to leave the crown vic at the double O.

"Casey, tell me you have some good news. Your snoring is going to lead to me slitting your throat if we have to stay in that tent much longer." Forrest comes out handing him an energy bar. She was dressed as a hobo as well, with a large bulky jacket, a red wig and faking a limp with a cane.

"The NSA scientist have figured out a way to reverse the effects, and are making an fix. Two or three days to make it, they think three days for it to take effect, and then a week for Walker to release all that pent up energy on Bartowski. But by then she will not be interested in looking for us, so I am thinking that we start back to LA on Wednesday for a late Sunday arrival."

"Good, I'm going to check the traps around the perimeter and see about placing some extras, just to be sure. Start some coffee I'm going to need a lot of it today. Oh crap, have you figured out how Walker keeps finding us."

Casey grunts and looks up to the heavens. _"Monday, on top of everything else it's a Monday."_

"We have ditched all out clothes, cars, electronics except the burn phones and we buy those every couple of days with cash. I think she picked up on us in Maine with Satellite imaging, that's why I drove us over the Border to Canada. It takes longer to go through the Canadian paperwork. The Cannucks are too polite to say no, but since they are on the verge of an election, no body wants to make a decision. That's good for us, and that is two days that Walker has not sent us one of her messages."

humph#956 (really po'ed) Forrest turns and after grabbing a bag from the tent, starts off on her work

"_Walker. I hope whatever fun you are having is worth all of this!"_

–

_A/N_

_So this as you are reading this chapter, some mind altering drug has been seeping into your eyes making you want to hit the review link. Don't resist. Now go eat some ice cream...._


	8. KNIFE 1 CHUCK ?

A/N

This has some VERY sappy moments in it, but forgive me. I am not good at writing sappy stuff but I hope that none of you are going to lose your lunch at the bad attempt. This actually came up from a PM from the WHO AM I that I should write a really sappy scene without some sort of joke to confuse the readers. However part of the challenge was not to change your style, so how could I in good faith submit something as mushy as this?

Also Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up her in the land of the Great White North, and I have family coming in on Wednesday to stay until after the great bird feast. So I am not sure how much time I will be at my machine. If I don't get it out today, it will probably be a week before I can get to even look at it again. So this will need a little work, but what writing of mine doesn't. Needless to say betaless.

Consider yourself warned though!

Also I seem to have a bad case of verbal diarrhea. Horrible case actually. Must be all the coffee I had to keep me going. But it transferred to the computer. Voice recognition programs – lovely new toy that I will never ever use again!

As always. Me no own Chuck – Make no monies. (Yes I just watched an old speedy the mouse cartoon. Those who don't know it, Google it!)

Oh and by the way, we finally make it through breakfast :)

–

Sarah jumps out of her car and starts taking deep breaths. "In and Out. Calm down. There is a reason for this. Give Chuck a chance to explain."

She looks at the syringe in her hand and the tranq gun in the other and decides that barging in probably was not the best way to handle the situation.

She goes around to the trunk of her car and grabs her overnight bag she keeps there for the nights she sleeps over at Chuck's and places the syringe, the tranq gun and her knives in it and starts heading towards the door.

–

'Morgan, honestly, you do not have to be with Chuck every moment of every day you know," Anna is pacing back and forth in the kitchen.

Ellie has Morgan leaning over the sink trying to stop his nose from bleeding over her freshly washed kitchen.

"Well congrats Morgan, you stuck your nose in once too often and now it's broken. Once the bleeding is under control we will head down and get an x-ray just to make sure it's only the nose." Ellie takes off her gloves and reaches for the phone.

"While your at it, can you check for brain function as well?"

DING DONG!

Ellie rolls her eyes and motions to Anna, who walks over to open the door.

"Oh hi Anna, This is a surprise. Ellie invited me for Breakfast. Morgan Here?"

"Sarah. I'm soooo glad your here" Anna gives Sarah a quick hug and runs over and grabs the coat that Chuck 'dropped' on his way to his room earlier. "Please tell me where you got this coat, it is the bomb!"

"err sorry it was a gift Anna. Hi Ellie and… Morgan, Anna why is Morgan bleeding. What did Casey do? Or was it Forrest?"

"Oh you know John's girlfriend? What do you think of her. She's scary like John, They really seem suited for each other. Sit down and let me tell you about this morning and why I am thinking about getting Morgan put on a leash. Oh and I love the CHUCK OUTFIT you are wearing today." And thus, Sarah is pulled onto the couch.

Morgan attempted to say something, but Ellie slaps him on the back of the head "Be quiet Morgan, you and Anna can have the argument later. Right now you have to go get some x-rays done. Sarah can you go and get Chuck and Devin, I think they are still in his room. Anna can you come over here and babysit Morgan so he doesn't drip blood on my floor. I have to go change. Girls help yourself to breakfast, Morgan don't move until the bleeding stops. And if keep your eye's closed. I don't want you almost fainting at the site of your own blood again." Ellie it appears while on the phone arranging Morgan's test was able to make several plates of pancakes up, complete with bacon, toast, sausages and a glass of milk and OJ all lined up in a row on the counter. She heads back to her room "And Morgan, no more girly screams, I promise we will leave you some food. At least a toast crumb or two."

Morgan lets out a girly scream again, but also tries to shield the back of his head with his one free arm.

Sarah not sure what to say to all this, just thinks"and here I was thinking about a normal life, there is nothing normal about this family". With a large smile on her face she and Anna get up and Sarah follows Ellie down the hall.

Sarah stops at Chuck's door and listens:

"Devin, I just wanted to make our first real time, as special as she is. Mind blowingly special. I really really messed it all up!"

Sarah opens the door and Chuck lets out in a high pitched girly scream"OH CRAP SARAH" and dives under the bed.

Devin shakes his head "Not Awesome dude, why don't I leave you two here to talk. When ready we will go and err run those errands."

Sarah, as upset and annoyed as she was could not help but smile at the site of Chuck diving for cover.

"Devin it's OK, I think I put together what happened and it's not that hard of a fix. Ellie has breakfast ready, and Morgan needs to go get another x-ray."

Devin gives Sarah a big awesome hug and heads towards his room to change.

Sarah closes and locks the door "Chuck we need do need to talk about what happened last night."

"You mean what didn't happen don't you?" came the squeaky voice under the bed.

Sarah goes over and makes sure that the Morgan door is locked "Chuck are you coming out so we can talk?"

"Sarah, I know you are upset, and that I am probably deluding myself in thinking that hiding under my bed is any sort of protection from your wicked knife throwing ability, but I really really messed up and I can't blame you right now, even though I really wish you would not, but I can see how disappointed you were this morning, and I can only speculate on how disappointed you were last night and well with you being a highly skilled CIA agent, and I only a humble computer nerd. As Casey was happy to point out to me once, the intersect really does not need man parts, I really like my man parts though and I want to delude myself in thinking that laying face down under my bed does indeed offer at least a little protection from your ohh crap do I see one really really large incredibly sharp gleaming throwing knives in your overnight bag you just placed on the floor?"

"Yes Chuck it is. So are you going to please come up here and talk to me or what?"

"While I love our conversations normally face to face, I think it might be prudent to start with me here Thank you very much."

"OK Chuck, if that is the way you want it?" Sarah takes out the tranq gun and seeing a leg sticking out from under the bed shoots. "I'm sorry honey, but I know how afraid you are of needles and in order to fix this fast, I need to use your butt as a pin cushion. And if you are going to be this un-cooperative, then I am going to take a chapter from the Book of Casey." Sarah goes over and pulls Chuck out from under the bed and grabs her knife and cuts a butt sized hole in his jeans and underwear then grabs the syringe and injects Chuck. "Sorry sweetie, that is only one of about twelve I have to give you over the next two hours, and that dart should keep you out for about three. If I calm down enough by then we will have a nice long talk about why you would do this to us." Sarah again gets a twinkle in her eye "Cute butt by the way" and she gives it a little pinch then gets up and heads out the door to join the rest of her future family for breakfast.

–

90 minutes later Sarah has just gotten the tenth shot into Chuck's butt, and she seems to have picked up a habit of doing the butt pinch thing every time. Everyone else has gone to get Morgan's nose (and brain) checked and she sits down at Chuck's computer and pulls up the video feed from this morning. She laughs her head off at the site of Chuck in her coat running past the gang by the fountain. She watched the antics of him flying through the room and finally of Chuck explaining why he did what he did.

Sarah lies down on the floor next to Chuck and starts running her hand through his hair.

She leans over and kisses Chuck and even asleep, she is happy when she notices the involuntary reaction her kiss gives "Well it looks like the anti-dote is starting to work sweetie."

She strokes his hair again, "When it has worked it's course, we are going to have a long talk about our feelings, and I promise you that if you are patient with me I will try to be as open as I can"

When her cell rings she gets up really annoyed, Thinking it was Casey, she is about to rip a strip off

him when he notices the number once belonged to Graham.

"Walker Secure"

"Yes sir, about 30 actually." Sarah grins. She can never remember just smiling because she is happy. She decides she really likes it.

Sarah then had a curious look across her face"Can you hold on a second sir, I just want to check something." Sarah types on the computer and Casey's apartment comes up and she overhears the conversation between Casey and Forrest. Sarah sits back and a large smile crosses her face "Sir"

"OK sorry Hawk, If we are going to be off for over a week, then I think that Casey needs some encouragement to travel. Leave the details to me, but can you just buy me some time with the pharm-heads."

"Nope, you really don't"

"I will think up something. Oh and don't worry about Chuck, we will have an uninterrupted week to figure out how to make this up to each other. Bye"

Sarah paces back and forth for a few minutes then dials "Walker Secure"

"Virginia can you do me a favor, Last night was a bit of a blur, but did I hear it mentioned that Chuck and I would be getting a place of our own?"

"Well hi back at you neighbor. You have at least made Ellie happy when she hears. Listen, any chance I can get a hand with something, I want to get started as soon as possible, and I've got an hour free so if you want some company?"

"He does not know it yet." Sarah takes a dart out of the tranq gun and like she was playing darts, hits a bulls-eye into his left butt cheek, "but we going to be fine, but I think I need to teach him, and Casey a lesson. Can you meet me in 20 at Chuck's place?"

"No. Don't worry about Casey, he's not missing, just running. He thinks I'm going to blame him for what happened with Chuck last night, so he is laying low for a few days. That's OK, I know where to find him, and with him crashing the hotel room in Barsto, I think I owe him a vacation well away from me. But I'll need your help to get some things organized. Listen I know we just met, but if you are not too busy for the next couple of hours, then I could really use an extra set of hands for a surprise for Chuck."

"Trust me. This will be the day that he will never forget. Now I just hope he can figure it all out."

"Sounds good. Bye."

Sarah hits end on her phone and turns to the sleeping Chuck as she grabs the last two vials and prepares to inject them. "So Mr. Bartowski, you are a bad boy thinking that you are so less of a person and a man than Bryce, so I think you need a little corrective measure. I need a little time to prepare and the shots will need a few hours to work their magic. So you just sleep there and get your rest. When I wake you up, I might just wear you out."

Sarah gives another butt pinch and then goes over to the computer and pulls up a map and after a second a blue dot appears on the screen with the name of CASEY written on it "I learned a few thing from you Casey, especially after the hotel in Barsto, I want to know where you are at all times. And this new little CIA toy fitted in the scope of his favorite gun perfectly!"

She picks up her cell phone and types a text message "Hiding in the middle of Warner Brothers Studio are we. Don't make this difficult. You know what you did, come pay the price!"

She hits send then types another message "Want me to back off, then keep Casey away from me for the next 10 days!"

Sarah puts a sheet over Chuck's napping bod, bends down and after giving a quick kiss on the cheek and heads out the Morgan door.

–

Several Hours Later

Chuck wakes up and goes to turn over when he is suddenly stoped "Huh? Oh crap why does my butt hurt so much?" Looking around he sees that he is lying on his bed but not his room, a thin sheet up to his chin seems tightly tucked in and does not want to budge. Hanging on the each post at the head of the bed what what was left of his jeans and underwear. Sarah's knife action clearly evident. Boxes of his stuff is in piles in different corners.

The door opens and Sarah wearing only the small skimpy black nightie saunters in "Hi Chuck. Welcome to our new apartment."

"Oh Crap, Wow Sarah that is…You look...WOW... stunning...Wow..... Ummm hey Sarah just wondering what the crap is happening here? Why are my clothes... and errr do you know why my butt is a little tender and oh ..."looking up he see that his hands and he suspects his feet are handcuffed "why am I attached to the bed?"

"Because Chuck, I don't want you hiding under it again..." And with a shy smile on her face"...and Casey has no surveillance here." Sarah leans over and gives him what Chuck will call "What makes Chuck go WOW kiss" Sarah gets up and goes to the foot of the bed "Now do I have your attention?" Sarah starts rubbing Chuck's feet and legs.

Chuck thinks "Oh Crap, this is a dream, this is a dream, not this dream again!" "Ummm Sarah you are not carrying any knives by any chance are you?"

Sarah gives a quizzical look "Why Chuck, when have you ever known me not to have a knife somewhere on my body?" She slowly starts to climb up over Chuck.

"Oh crap, oh crap, of crap"

She then crawls over to one side of the bed and climbs under the sheet. She then kisses Chuck and whispers in his ear "mmmmm So tell me lover, do I have your complete and undivided attention?"

After a kiss like that all Chuck could do is a feeble nod.

SLAP!

Chuck looks at Sarah stunned. The slap across the face was worse than 100 prostate exams at once. Sarah grabs Chuck face and turns it towards hers.

"Darn you Charles Irving Bartowski, even with everything you do, your heart is in the right place, only your brain really does mess things up at times. From the intersect being there not once but twice, and the betrayal of Bryce and Jill, you are such a wonderful person. You want to know what my biggest fear is Chuck. It is that one day you will realize that you are way too good for a someone as screwed up as me. I am not good at talking about my feelings, but that will have to change now, we have to tell each other when something is bothering the other if we want to make a go of whatever this is or can be!"

"Sarah what are you talking about?"

"Oh sweetie, I looked at the surveillance tape and I heard your conversation that you had with Casey and Devin. You are going to have to realize that sex is not what I'm looking for, making love to you is so much better than sex. While the motions may be the same, it's the connection behind it that matters more than anything. I truly love you Chuck, and this coming from a person who never knew what love was until I met you."

"Sarah what are you saying?"

Sarah gives a small laugh, "Chuck, for such a smart nerd, you can be really dumb sometimes you know that? Everything that I did on missions, everything that happened with me and Bryce, there was nothing behind it but the physical. I've never really given my heart to anyone before you. It's more than the physical between us. I know this for if nothing else when we finally do make love, it will be the best time for both of us. We connect not just physically, by somehow despite my best efforts you got to know ME, and somehow in that big heart of yours you accept me unconditionally. And for the first time I knew what love was."

Sarah goes over and gives Chuck a hug and places a quick kiss on his nose "I love being silly with you, I love that I can let myself be silly with you. I love holding you and being held by you. I want you to know something. The night of the wedding, when your father came over I was about to tell you something. I was staying. I told Bryce that I was not leaving you. And if you wanted a vacation, I would have my bag packed and be ready whenever you were."

Tears was coming down both their faces now. Chuck wanted to hold her but the handcuffs prevented that."Sarah?"

"Chuck stop! You are not getting out of those handcuffs until we are done this conversation, and I get some satisfaction. I told you once that Sarah was not my name. I don't actually know what my name was at birth. Graham gave me this name when I joined the agency. I had so many names by then that I lost myself in them. I was using it as a way to protect myself. New place equaled a new name. No ties. But I only want one more name change in my life. And when you are ready to share it, then I want you to know that I will be waiting and willing." She leans down and gives Chuck a long lingering kiss.

From somewhere Sarah produces the key for the cuffs. And goes and gives another kiss "Chuck, now that you know how much I love you and how much more you mean to me than anyone and any job."

Sarah looks deep into those chocolate brown eyes...

"If you every pull another stunt like that again I WILL CUT IT OFF!"

And with that she drops the key from her left hand and jumps up off the bed, clutching the bed sheet in her right. Her black nightie somehow hitting the floor as he watches her naked back go out door. With an almost second thought and without looking back, a knife is tossed over her shoulder and and lands right between Chuck's legs as the door slams shut.

"OH CRAP!"

Chuck finally after several deep breaths, musters up the courage to look down and finds himself dressed in the Weinerlicious outfit and brightly painted pink toenails, complete with yellow sad faces.

On one leg was written in large black letters was 'PROPERTY OF THE FUTURE' and the other 'MRS SARAH LISA BARTOWSKI'. With matching arrows pointing up to a well placed pop up sign that said 'DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS', complete with a red bow.

"OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP This cannot be happening SARAH – Wait did we just become engaged?"

Is was a pity that he never noticed the six CIA surveillance cameras set up around the room, all sending feeds back to Virginia's laptop, silently recording for future use on the request of Sarah.

–

OH NUTS I COULD NOT DO IT!

OH REVIEW!


	9. Sarah Bartowski's Ten Days to

Sarah Bartowski's Ten Days to a New You – Day One

"Theme music in Back Ground – Roulette by Reanna."

Announcer

That's right, now for the first time ever,

Sarah Bartowski's Ten Days to a New You Super Spy!

That's right, the famous never before seen program will sure to turn you into an elite super spy!

Just listen to this success story:

VOICE OVER "This was me two years A nerd herd supervisor. Very non awesome..."

A video of Chuck with a red large mart tablecloth and Morgan being a bull comes up on screen

"...and look at me now!"

A video of Chuck and Sarah dancing the tango while shooting people trying to kill them around a dance floor.

Now for a special limited time offer, you can become the spy you always never wanted to be!

One DVD per day for ten days, or you can download it as an IPHONE APP to have it FLASH right into your brain -

ORDER NOW!!

Individual results may very – please note iphone flash may lead to brain non function and lack of heart movement, sometimes referred to as coo coo for coco puffs or the NBC programming factor.

Please consult a head doctor before starting any spy program.

And now back to the show... this commercial will self destruct in 10..9 ..8...7...5...4...3..2...

--

DAY 1

Sarah in a red evening dress leaves the the master bedroom of their new apartment. She noticed that Chuck stopped calling her name soon after she left the spare bedroom. Walking over to the laptop and after a few clicks, she starts watching the video feed. Chuck is skillfully working the pillow where she had made sure the key she dropped would fall and he almost has the key to the cuffs in hand.

Sarah's smile is one full of pride_"Way to go sweetie, if you substitute the Weinerlicious outfit with a cheerleaders one and you will have what I did to Bryce when he suggested we go to that disgusting party in Amsterdam. Only he was never able to get out of the cuffs! Since you refuse to believe me when I tell you, I will make you prove it to yourself you that you have what it takes to be a hero, and that you are so much better than Bryce."_ She pats a DVD marked BRYCE STRIKE ONE placed next to the computer. "_This one almost made it to you-tube."_

"_Now phase two."_ She picks up her iphone "Hello Mr. Bartowski. It's Sarah, do you have a minute?"

"Good. He is lying down at the moment. Well I was hoping I could ask a favor of the technical kind?"

"No I'm sure that having a live in techie does have it's advantages, but I have other plans for him."

"Well I need to keep Casey out of my hair so Chuck and I will have some time to work out... err I mean to get use to us living together and since we have been given some R and R I want to make sure that Casey does not intrude upon us, since we will have ...."

"Thank you so much, I'll take that as a compliment, I never mind spending time with your son. I'm emailing you the GPS tracker information that I hid in Casey's gun, Here is what I was thinking..."

–

Several hours after they left the apartment Agents John Casey and Alex Forrest pull up to the Warner Brothers Studio lot and after Forrest has a little chat with the guard they make their way to the back of the studio where lots of older houses were used for miscellaneous scenes. Forrest pointed out one and Casey drove into the garage.

(HUMPH #323) They use to shoot some show called UGLY BETTY I think here. A long time ago I set up a safe house in the basement." Forrest goes into the basement and after removing a fake wall panel a keypad appears. One long code and a retinal scan later, a door opens to reveal a standard safe house setup.

'Took me almost two years to set this up, completely off the grid. Walker will not be able to find us here. We have about 10 weeks of standard rations, and that hallway leads to costumes department and that one to makeup. So we can come up with disguises if necessary to go out. This place only has one bed, so you are sleeping on the floor."

Casey looks around at the nice stockpile of guns that line the secret weapons room of the secret secure hideout. Grunt #223 (Impressive) "Not a bad stash of toys you have here Forrest."

Humph #435 (Whatever) "I never expected company in this place however, so since I had space, I added a few extras for a rainy day. Now I'm going to the washroom, don't you have a calls to make? I want to spend as little time here as possible, I apparently have subs to bake."

Casey grabs his phone and notices that there is a text message. Reading it "Hiding in the middle of Warner Brothers Studio are we. Don't make this difficult. You know what you did, come pay the price!"

GRUNT #232 (OH CRAP on a CRACKER!) "FORREST BUG OUT! SHE"S LOCATED US!"

–

Chuck had gotten out of the cuffs and looking down he notices that his feet are only tied with rope. Carefully pulling the knife out of the mattress, he notices that on one side was written NUTCRACKER and trying not to make noise, he cut himself free.

Quietly getting out of bed, he started to look around for something else to wear. Although he loved the Weinerlicious outfit, he didn't love it on him. In-spite of everything else however, he had to smile at the thought of 'Mrs. Sarah Lisa Bartowski.' in the outfit.

Opening his closet a very classic black suit, along with a bag that had underwear, shoes and socks was the only thing there. He quickly got changed and looking in the mirror on the back of the closet door, struck the classic James Bond pose "I'm Carmichael, Charles Carmichael."

"Well Mr Carmichael, Mrs Woodcomb has made dinner reservations and if you don't hurry, we will be late." And Sarah comes up behind him and gives him a pinch on the butt.

Chuck not hearing Sarah enter jumps away and into the closet,"Owww Sarah. You know I wish you would please explain to me why my butt is so sore. Pretty please. Oh and by the way, you look absolutely wow in that dress. I mean WOW oh WOW oh WOW!"

Sarah laughs and opens the door. "Chuck Bartowski, are you coming out of the closet?"

"Not funny Sarah, are you armed?"

"Of course, two arms, two legs as well as various other parts of me" She becomes serious and taking both of Chuck's hands in hers, leads him out of the closet. looking him straight in the eyes; "You know what I said before the threat to cut , well you know that it is hard for me and relationships, but you do know how I feel about you, don't you?"

Chuck turns and looks in the mirror and with Sarah standing directly in back of him, arms now holding him around his waist, he starts the Bartowski eye brow dance and strikes the bond pose again, which elects another laugh out of his lady.

Chuck turns and kisses her on the cheek. "Yeah, working on that lovely little predicament you left me in gave me some time to think. You do know how to drive home a point Future Mrs Bartowski" He shudders as he glances over at the knife still stuck in his mattress.

"Sweetie, I do want to talk to you about one thing. I was serious about the name change, but I'm not going to rush you into it. This is not a government order, I truly want to marry you. That's the honest truth, but only when you are ready. I realized that the umm the reminder I left might have been a little strong. I'm really not good at expressing my feelings that I think I might have went a little overboard in my frustration."

Chuck shakes his head "You think?. I really can't say that I didn't get the point though, and it was a bit of a shock, after all this time having you do a complete 180, it freaked me out a bit."

"Just a little?"

"Ok, maybe totally."

"Chuck, I have never been more serious in my life, but I think that as much as we want to rush into this, I think we should just take our time. I am not good at relationships and if I did something to mess this up because I wasn't thinking clearly, then I am not sure how I would go on. We know the chemistry is there, but we have a lot of changes going on right now. The first one is this." She holds up a key-chain with a Linux penguin and two keys on it. "This is the key to our new apartment, directly above Ellie and Devin, so there is no worry about moving far away. And that is the key to your Hybrid SUV that Hawk gave you. Yes he is letting you keep it. He wanted me to tell you he had it 'STARK upgraded. We can use that to go pick up some more furniture, the stuff from my apartment was not mine and you had basically nothing, so we have a week of shopping ahead of us."

Sarah loves the little kid look on Christmas, and kissed him "Come on Ellie and Devin are going to be here in a minutes to see the new place, then the four of us are going out to supper, Ellie insisted. Do you want to tell them that the CIA just bought the entire apartment complex and they no longer need to pay rent, or shall I?"

And with a that they walk towards the door when suddenly Chuck picks up Sarah and after a quick kiss "Since I was unconscious when we entered, I didn't get to carry you over the threshold, so I'll make up for it by carrying you over all the thresholds." And he gives her another quick kiss ."Our first tradition. We must remember to kiss when ever we cross the threshold!"

Sarah held close to Chuck and after giving him a what she thought might be a small kiss to encourage him, soon turns into into a cross between a full make out session and the tango.

"DING DONG!"

Chuck and Sarah look at each other and at the same time "OH CRAP, ELLIE AND DEVIN!"

Sarah curses _"Oh Crap, so much for the LETS SLOW IT DOWN IDEA. You are sooo mine!"_

Chuck looks down and see's that he is cured "Very Well Mrs. Carmichael, your room or mine tonight?"

"DING DONG!"

"IN A SECOND ELLIE, BE RIGHT THERE!" Chuck starts straightening up his suit, however he is dragging Sarah along with him, her dress now caught in his cufflink _"Crap, I can never get a break!"_

"Chuck watch it" Sarah is pulled off balance and she is starts to fall.

Chuck grabs her by the waist, only to have Sarah twist and he lands on the floor, her dress now ripped and her on top. He feels a breeze and notices his pants are down at his ankles.

"OH CHUCK!"

Chuck's other cufflink seems to have gotten stuck in Sarah's hair. Sarah reaches up and starts pulling on the sleeve.

"NO SARAH, DON'T PULL SO HARD!"

Chuck pulls back causing the trained spy to flip over and it is then that she realizes that her lips are almost touching his. Looking into each others eyes, they start having the giggles.

"New Move Sex – Awesome." Look around they spy Ellie slapping Awesome across the chest at the now open door.

"We can never get a break can we?" Chuck says.

"It's like someone writing a script where the writers just love teasing the audience week after week."

Sarah shakes here head "Maybe it will take a massive fan campaign. I'll get right on that."

"You can dress him up, but you cannot take him anywhere. Hi Sarah sorry about barging in, we heard the noise and I got a little panicked." Ellie goes over and untangles the two and examines the damage "Oh Sarah, that dress is beautiful, but it will probably need a week of sewing to fix."

"So lets get you ready for a night of fine dining again?" Sarah and Ellie walk towards the bedroom

Chuck gets up and he and Devin head off to the kitchen "Are you sure you want Sarah and me around tonight. This was suppose to be the big romantic dinner for two before you and Ellie left for your honeymoon?"

"With everything that has happened in the last 24 hours, Ellie did not even want to leave, but after a long talk, and several compromises, this being one of them, she agreed that it would do us a world of good."

Ellie and Sarah return from the back, Sarah changed and now Ellie caught the giggles.

"Do you think we should tell them they were wearing almost exactly the same dress?"

"Not Awesome, they both love you man, but I would be spend the night reattaching various body parts. I hear that Sarah is really good with knives and you know how much cooking Ellie does, she can carve with the best of them."

Chuck gulps and stares past Awesome to the room with his bed "Great plan there Awesome, I agree 100%!"

–

AN

Just because I have not mentioned it in a while, _please review!_

_Again DISCLAIMER: nothing Chuck Related is mine:_

_I re-wrote this many many times over the last few days. It's still not where I wanted it, but I think this is the best draft. If anybody see anything that would make it better, let me know and I'll think about changing it when I put up the next chapter._

_Right now I have to go get a cast removed!_

_Later_


	10. Burgers or Dogs?

In a darken room, a sudden bright white spotlight comes on and the sound of high heels on a hardwood floor is heard.

After about twenty steps, a beautiful blonde dressed in black steps into the light.

"Hello and welcome to day two of Sarah Bartowski`s how to be a spy series. For the purpose of these videos I will be playing Sarah Bartowski, a long term covert operation specialist and joint CIA / NSA trainer based somewhere in North America. When they were asked to create this video series in order to help you, the newest, and brightest of your agency. With their newest training methods and real senarios, you will become the best trained agent to come out of your agency in years. Even though actors will be playing the team members, all the scenarios are based on real situations, and all the actual agents were brought to consult in order to make the video's as close to what actually happened as possible."

"Today we will work on what happens when agents believe orders are not meant to be followed. In this case the order is a really simple one: stay in the car. While this is the start of most of your careers, you might see this as something that seems obvious. Following these simple requests can be the most important job an agent has, and it seems to be the one that gets broken the most."

A image of Chuck appears behind curvy agent.

"For instance, Lets take a look at the newest member of 'Team Bartowski'. If you remember from the first video, we named this curly haired, chocolate eyed agent Chuck.

In the following situation a lot of problems could have been avoided for himself, his agency, innocent bystanders, and his partner if the BOY HAD SIMPLY STAYED IN THE DARN CAR!!!

---

CODE BLUE ROOM 1532!

CODE BLUE ROOM 1532!

Ellie and Devin dressed to the hilts in their evening clothes, jumped up from the hospital cafeteria table and bolted towards the stairs.

"Devin, it can`t be him can it? We were only with him ten minutes ago!" The terror in her voice was clear, she took the stairs two at a time, her dress ripping a little more with each stride.

When they got to the correct floor they open the stairwell door and was nearly run over by a low flying CIA secret agent in a sexy black evening dress complete with toilet paper stuck to her left heel.

Donning her best Casey, she screamed `MAKE A HOLE PEOPLE! PO'ED BLONDE COMING THROUGH!`

As they get to the door marked 1532 and without missing a beat Sarah kicks the door hard enough to knock it off the hinges and the heel (with the toilet paper attached) clean off her shoe.

Staring into the room, the three that were dressed to kill were watching the team of doctors as they just finished pulling the sheet over the head of the man in the bed.

"Chuck..." Sarah whispered.

"Whoa, not Awesome..."

"CHUCK NO.... not my baby brother.."

"Hi guys, It's OK I`m over here" Chuck waved from the far corner, feet pointed at the window, and head almost directly under a TV mounted to the ceiling. "They pushed my bed over here when that guy coded in the hallway. Sarah, Ellie, it not me ok. It`s the other guy, the driver from that huge car accident that came in after us."

Sarah looked over at Chuck, his suit looking like it had gone through a food processor. He tried to get up but not before he was caught in a Chuck sandwich, with Sarah on one side and Ellie on the other.

"When we heard the call we thought..."

"I know Sarah, sweetie, it`s alright. Ellie stop crying please, Sarah, please what's left of my clothes are getting wet and with this super duper air conditioning I`m getting mighty cold here. Sarah please blood will need to circulate to my head soon, Devin I think I'm turning blue, and Ellie I`ve lost feeling on that side of my body. Devin, a little help here please!"

Chuck was going to cry out again, but found that trying to talk through Sarah's head as she at this point pretty much crawled into bed and between kisses and "Don't you ever worry us like that again!" coming from Sarah, and Ellie slapping him silly on the shoulder saying basically the same thing, Chuck was rendered speechless.

"Dude, I think it might be better if I just exit stage left ,,, and see about this." and Awesome picks up the broken door and leading the other staff down the hall, he kicks the wayward heal over towards a garbage can..

--

"Ok people, it's been what fourteen or so hours since I sent you on vacation, why the heck are you bugging me. What the crap can be so important that you are waking me up in the middle of the night."

Standing in front of their new tv with their hands behind their back watching the image of CIA Director CP Scott sitting in a living room, probably his, with the biggest coffee mug Chuck had ever seen in his life. To top it off the tired and grouchy look was a stark contrast to the Star Trek PJ's and pink bunny slippers.

_"Oh Crap, that cup must hold what two or three pots__?"_

"Chuck! Earth to Chuck! Wake up! What exactly are you wearing?"

"Oh Crap sorry. The hospital doesn't allow scrubs to leave the property, so I had to borrow a pair of Devin biker shorts and a muscle shirt."

Sarah steps forward "Director I thought we should report this as soon as possible. We went out to dinner earlier with Ellie and Devon to a new restaurant and just as we were about to have desert, Chuck flashed on a DEA person of interest walking in front of the restaurant."

Hawk raised his cup and drank a very long time, or so Chuck thought.

He then put down the cup and after a couple of seconds of hitting buttons on his iphone. Chuck could have sworn he heard a tricorder.

"Ok, that would be Peter Boyer that is in LAPD custody. The DEA suspects him of bringing in drugs hidden in Colombian coffee."

Chuck had to hold in a laugh as they saw the look of horror on the directors' face at the thought of contaminated coffee shipments. Even so he had to hide a snicker by pretending to have a cough fit. Sarah could not hold back a tiny smile at the whole incident, as she wacked him in the back, probably a little harder then necessary..

"So (ahem) I flashed on the guy … dude.. perp? Anyways Sarah and I started following him as he headed towards the pier. After a couple of blocks he met a red headed lady, and they entered the place where are a new Biggie Burger is being built. Actually it will be the biggest bestest biggie burger in Burbank. "Better Burgers Biggie Beautiful" as the ad has been playing… Although you probably don't care much about that, do you?"

Hawk looked up to the heavens and then took another large drink. After what seemed to Chuck as forever, but really a few seconds. All the while Hawks gaze going back and forth from Chuck to Sarah

"Chuck, you feeling ok?"

"I've been better actually, I'm having a hard time sitting.."

"So are those meds are out of your system?"

"Ahh well we had an impromptu test and yes they seem to be gone."

"You've gotten plenty of rest, kept hydrated. Casey didn't hit you upside the head?"

"ummm no, not that I am aware of…"

"And yet, you and Sarah went out instead of staying inside?"

"Hawk I'm not sure I follow you…" one of Chuck's hand went up in a 'what's up' sort of way.

"Oh Crap Sarah, are you sure he is into girls?"

Sarah steps up "Absolutely! Just a long series of bad timings Hawk, he is very into girls, I know this for a unwavering fact. Let me find that pretty brunette nurse who wanted to give him a sponge bath and I'll prove it."

"Yeah ok… so then so you followed the … perps into the construction site and then what?"

"Hey wait a minute, I think I should be insulted here…"

"Not now Chuck" Came from both Sarah and Hawk

Sarah turned back to the screen "So Hawk, we called The LAPD for backup and headed to see if we could figure out what they were up to. We were inside and therefore did not notice that Devin and Ellie, who we thought was on their way home, stopped the cab when Ellie noticed us going into the site as their taxi was going by."

"Sarah saw that there was the bunmobile was parked in the double patty drive through and told me to ummm..."

"I told his to sit his buns in that bunmobile and stay like cheese on a hot paddy."

Hawk grabbed his coffee mug again _"Art, what did you get me into?"_

"So I went in and the suspects in the Biggie Burger Bungee Box appeared to be getting ready to play hide the wiener. So I waited for backup to arrive when the guy got spooked when a car horn blew."

Chuck shifts back and forth and looks down to the ground.

"Chuck - Care to add something, or do you just need to pee?"

"Umm I saw Ellie and Devin in the rear view mirror and thought that they were headed towards me."

"And were they?"

"Umm no they went to the coffee shop on the corner, out of my sight. I wanted to warn them away so I started flashing the brake lights, and there is not a lot of space in that bun, so in trying to stay hidden I accidentally hit the horn which caused me to jump and my knee hit the gear shift and it went into neutral."

"I felt the car moving and I jumped out and in the dark I knocked over a Biggie tub of the Extra Special Biggie Burger Bun Topping they soak each Biggie Burger in, well as it turns out it really soaks into a $2500 suit just like a sponge. The whole tub got absorbed. So smelling like I have been smoked, I went outside and hid behind the La Biggie Fry order thingie when I hear what I thought was a gunshot inside."

Sarah has by this time reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder and Chuck does a quick look at each other and then she continues. "That was actually one of the tables being turned over in the suspects haste in pulling up his pants. Chuck didn't realize this at the time but the bunmobile he jumped from rolled back and knocked into the take out system and it activated the mics in the Fryer and the speakers in the rest of the place, so when Chuck screamed my name it was actually heard all over the restaurant. Chuck picked up on that when he heard the echo so he told them they were surrounded and that they should lie on the floor. The suspect attempted to run out the front door, only to be stopped by the undercover police woman that was posing as a prostitute."

"So that meant one swat team we called to bust our drug pusher and another team to bust him for being a john. Honestly Team Bartowski should be a comedy variety hour instead of a CIA deep cover team. So why did all this involve calling me tonight. It could have waited until morning.

"It's what happened next that we may need your help with. There were three young teenage girls who were making extra money by walking dogs. As Chuck was walking over to meet up with his sister, the secret sauce drove the thirty or so dogs a little nuts and they attached themselves to Chuck's coat, pants, etc."

"Amusing, but why are you calling me now?"

"At the corner there was a TLC film crew following someone known as Hexodad, a single guy who is raising twenty children who apparently thought it would be a great idea to take them out to see the stars at the science centre. The crew caught the whole thing and from the sounds of it, is already on the web as the Hexodad gave the kids popcorn as the pups removed Chuck's suit and umm inspected many classified areas as he does what the Morgan."

"The Morgan?"

Chuck turning very red and after one of the famous silent conversations between the two occur, Chuck finally assumes the position.

"Oh Crap on a dog biscuit, alright I'll make a call and see if I can get them to at least blur out everybody but the Hexodad and crew. Now you two, go home and debrief yourself."

"Yeah about that, as the dogs were removing my clothing, one little puppy got a little two friendly.."

Hawk looked like he was ready to either laugh or cry. "No, are you kidding me?"

Sarah in a very annoyed voice "No he is very serious. Trust me that is not something either of us would dare kid about. Eighteen perfect little holes created by an eleven week old beagle puppy."

"Owww" Hawk unconsciously crossed his legs "Any long term damage?"

"No the doctors said that it will recover fully, but no ummm workouts for a day or two"

Hawk types a few things on his iphone.

"I see the video made it's way to you tube. Well if I didn't see it I would not have believed it. How could you walk, let alone sprint with a beagle hanging there?"

"I really don't think that that is what is important here...."

"I've heard of dog and their bones, but really he really didn't want to let go did he?"

"umm no and it was a she actually.."

"Were you on a track team or smoothing, wow that was what a 12 foot running jump over those garbage cans."

"Sarah, oh my crap. Grabbing the pup by the tail right then was not a good idea! Wow! That was the highest pitched scream I ever heard a human make, Chuck and I've been to a lot of opera."

"Actually, that's what made the dog let go. I hurt her ears and they all fled." Chuck mumbled.

"Yeah, sorry again about that tail pull" whispered the blonde with a more of an amused than ashamed look on her face.

"Ok I have calls to make and coffee to brew, good night agents" And with that the director closed the channel.

As they turn to go to get ready for bed, Chuck takes an ice pack that he had hidden behind his back and puts it back on the bitten area. Sarah then reaches around and gives him a pinch on the butt as she goes behind him and heads to the bedroom.

"Oww Sarah, that hurts. Do you have any idea why when the nurse gave me a tetnus shot, she asked why my rear looked like a happy face on a dart board? Do you know anything about that?"

"Sarah? SARAH?"

--

Even their own mothers would not recognize John Casey and Alex Forrest. John dressed in a long blonde wig and biker tats over every showing bit of skin and Alex Forrest in long silver wig that she has taken several purple and green dye packets to streak and added spikes to finish it off. For the clothes lots of Goth and leather. They were driving a smart car into the down town area of San Francisco.

HUMPH #159 (Shoot me now!) "Casey we stand out like a sore thumb."

Grunt #271 (What?) "It's not my fault the Harley's had a bullet hole in the fuel tank. I'm not the one that got po'ed in the washroom and tried to shoot a fly on the wall. This was the only vehicle that was in the parking lot. Your yuppie security guard will be a little po'ed when he realizes that his lemon squeeze stole his wheels."

"Over there, that place belongs to an old buddy of mine; I called him while you were napping. We can hide out here for the duration. There is a key hidden underneath the 3rd troll on the lawn."

Going in and making sure there were no unexpected surprises they unpack the Bundle they picked up through the Biggie Burger and after bringing their gear in they sat down to eat and plan out they next move.

HUMPH #356 (Wisecrack) "So Edison, what bright idea did you come up with to get us out of this mess?"

Grunt #237 (Avoidance) "I've got pick up a new burn phone and I'll call the chem heads to see what they came up with."

DING DONG!

Grabbing their guns, the two agents flank the front door.

Looking out Forrest sees a delivery guy holding a flower basket.

"Who is it?" Alex calls out.

"Delivery for a Mr. John Casey" Came a high pitched squeaky voice.

Casey looks out a sees this super thin maybe 18 but probably much younger nerdy kid standing there with a basket of flowers in his hand and snot running out of his nose.

Putting his gun behind his back and opening the door, the kid turns white and drops the flowers and runs to his skateboard and disappears from the BIKER CASEY (action figure coming soon) standing at the door.

GRUNT #847 (I still got it). Casey carefully picks up the card in the 'FORGET ME NOT' arrangement and after a quick glance hands it to Forrest, sidestepping the puddle that formed a few seconds ago.

'Welcome to the neighbourhood – Chuck and Sarah.'

There were re-packed and gone in less than 5 minutes. Including the consumption of the Biggie Burger Bundles.

--

As Chuck laid on his stomach in bed, playing with his DS. Sarah going over reports, since she had nothing better to do, he glances over and notices something on the bedside table.

"Hey Sarah, what's that?"

"Oh that, I asked Hawk to send my stuff in storage. That is souvenir from a past mission in Germany. We used that puzzle box to move messages back and forth, since electronics were useless. (yawn) That's enough for tonight. I think I'm going to hit the hay." She leans over and gives Chuck a kiss and then places her paperwork on the table, she gives Chuck another kiss then snuggles down."Oh, since I really will not need my apartment anymore we should head up to Washington and clean it out this week. Night Chuck."

Chuck picks up the puzzle box and in less than ten minutes he gets it open and in finds a paper heart inside. Written on the back was "Chuck, I may not be able to say it as often as I should, but you have my heart - Sarah". Chuck smiles, leans over and gives Sarah a kiss on the forehead and turns off the light and goes to sleep.

Sarah on the other hand starts smiling as soon as the light goes off. Bryce was shown how to open that box about 200 times and he was still never able to get it to work. It took her over an hour to remember how to do it herself, and she had done it hundreds of times.. Her nerd did it in minutes. Chuck 2 – Bryce 0.

--

A/N

Sorry I really want to update sooner, but I have this problem, it's called _Family Obligations_. This person, we will call the WIFE wants me to spend my time doing things like fixing stuff around the house. The nerve. Just because we had a flooded basement, she could not see the positive side of an indoor swimming pool. Go figure.

Anyways there always seem to be something up. But I will promise that I will finish this and the third in the series. I don't know when, but I will get it done. Also I have a ton of reading of the other fics to catch up on, so I'm hoping to get caught up on the non crappy stuff and spend the next week reworking the direction of the story, somehow another idea I had got worked into this and my 10 chapter story about the day in the life of... is headed towards a week.

DISCLAIMER: Other companies own Chuck, I am only writing for the fun of it. Certainly not for the money, since I have no idea what that looks like anymore!

No beta reader. If anyone wants to volunteer, I would live the chance to see what someone with skill could show me, however with Christmas coming, I can imagine everyone having better things to do than read crap.

Just Chuck


	11. Boys and their toys!

Chapter 11

A/N

I do not own anything in the Chuck Universe.

Trying something new. A couple of people suggested spinning off the Casey stuff into a new slightly expanded fic, so I am not sure that it will work alone, but I am willing to try it at the end of this arc.

What do you think?

Let me know please when you review. I will leave Casey out of this chapter for the moment more because I am not happy with it. Besides this chapter is longer than most I write. People can only take so much crap at one time!

Also since I think it's been a while, "_italics"_ are thoughts, just to keep things straight.

Many many thanks to jagged1 for her super duper Beta talents. All the praise give to her, all the crap give to the guy who slings it, me! Again I...err... toyed even after it was returned.

--

A Spotlight beams in a tight circle on an empty stage.

Suddenly a tall, brown haired man stumbles and falls flat on his face in the center of the light.

Sending a nasty look offstage as he gets up, he mumbles "I hope the Vic gets rust..."

"Grrrrrr" comes from his left.

"Casey, NO!. Boys, play nice...," comes from his right.

"Oh Crap... Err... Welcome back to the third installment in the 'How to be a spy in seven days' series. I play Chuck, nerd extraordinaire of Team Bartowski. Now Sarah may have the looks and the skill and Casey may have the brawn. But I have the best talent of all. Nerd"

A noise is made offstage, it kind of sounds like high heels tapping on hardwood.

Walking away from the sound, the spotlight seems to be having trouble staying on him, like he was evading something.

"Today, we will look at a common mistake that new spies tend to make when they first start they careers."

"Just because you have the cool nerdy toys at your fingertips does not mean you have to use them every time." He waves an iPhone. (Whispering) "Even if it makes a lot of sense at the time."

He looks off stage as if someone is trying to get his attention. "I'm sorry I spilled coffee in your Porsche. But can't someone else to please do this? I hate doing the intros. I feel like I am retelling the same story week after week after week."

A knife flies across the stage, knocking Chuck's iPhone from his hand.

"Ahem. To show what can become of this waste of resources we will show you a scenario from the perspective of the three spies involved...."

Grunt #536 (stupidity ahead). "Try again, before Wa.. Bartowski shows you how she is a true missile command champion.

"Ummm from the two agents and me."

The stage goes black.

"Sarah, we can edit this before it's sent out right? Sarah? Sarah!"

---

Virginia's POV

0555

Ellie Woodcomb was quietly, but quickly, pacing outside the front door of her brother's apartment. She had barely slept since she nearly freaked out when she thought Chuck had died earlier that night.

Even though she was going to go on her honeymoon in a matter of hours, she needed some answers if there was any hope of enjoying herself. After all they just went out to dinner when the crap hit the fan. Sarah or Casey, the pros; she still had a hard time believing that they were spies. How much danger was Chuck really in? How were they protecting him? Why Chuck?

She spent almost an hour trying to decide between the two, but when it came down to it, Sarah would always be the Chuck's first choice. How could she do anything less.

"You know Ellie, you might want to consider knocking, I don't think Chuck has spider-sense as one of the intersects abilities."

Virginia was standing at her door holding two cups of what smelled like Irish cream coffee. "It's fresh," as she passed one over to Ellie.

Ellie followed her into the sparse apartment and sat down on the pullout couch with her back to the window. "Sorry about how the place looks, most of the furniture arrives sometime tomorrow. But for some reason I think you have some bigger issues then worrying about my delivery mix-ups. What's got you so upset this early in the morning?"

Ellie held her cup and inhaled deeply. Virginia pulled up a chair and sat facing the window, sipping her coffee. Virginia was, if nothing else, patient.

"Why, Virginia? I spent a lifetime trying to protect him. Why does he need to go and be the hero? I don't understand; why Chuck?"

"Ellie, you know everything, or perhaps should I say you have all the facts.

Let me guess, you caught a glimpse of what they do last night after dinner, and it scared the crap out of you."

Tears started rolling down Ellie's face and Virginia sat down beside her. Neither noticed that outside, Chuck was throwing a wet towel in Devon's face as Devon suddenly appeared and went to ring Chuck's doorbell.

"I've looked out for him for so long, how am I not going to worry every time he walks out the door. We just went out for dinner last night, and he takes down a drug something or other. How can I not worry about him?" Ellie was in full blown tears now. What she did not notice was the frantic Chuck and Devon running out into the courtyard.

"Ellie, don't you want to stay sane?" Virginia asked.

She looked up. "What?"

"I'm a spy. I've been married to a spy for over twenty five years. I've raised three children, all of which have joined some sort of law enforcement agency. I came to realize that trying to protect them from the world I knew would only lead to me tearing my hair out if I could get out of the straight jacket. The best thing I could do would be to teach them to take care of themselves and to show them how much family means. Those are what you have instilled in Chuck. Your raised him well and even though the path he has chosen is not one you have picked, trust that you gave him the lessons to make the right choices. He has a better support system than most. He has you, Devon, Casey and us. If that was not enough he has the woman he loves, and loves him working by his side."

Virginia got up and refilled their mugs. She noticed Ellie looking much calmer.

As she started to head back in to the living room, she noticed that there was a message from Hawk on the computer about the National Guard and satellite surveillance._ "Well that can wait another couple of minutes."_

She saw the door to Chuck's apartment close. "_Well, someone is up. Probably Sarah coming back from a run."_

"Can I ask a personal question?" Ellie's voice snapped her back to the here and now.

"Shoot." Virginia handed over the cup and sat beside her again, missing the dripping wet Chuck and scared looking Morgan running full steam out of Chuck's apartment.

"Have they ever gotten seriously hurt?"

"I've nearly lost two of them in the line of duty, and that stupid husband of mine tends to want to be poisoned more times than I can count. I've lost people I consider family though. Art Graham, the person who brought Sarah into the CIA, was killed in action. He was the godfather to all three of the kids,. He was the last and most difficult loss to deal with. ."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Sarah stuck her head in.

"Oh, crap. Ellie, do you know that I have two freaked out men running around? Devon and your nutty brother are getting a search party together when they realized that you weren't at our place like your note said."

Rolling her eyes, she got up and went over and enveloped Sarah in a huge hug.

Virginia reached into her pocket and grabbed her ringing phone.

Even before she has to chance to say hello, the caller began yelling. "He did what…?!" as something unfit to print next blared in her ear.

--

Sarah's POV

0540

(The tune of Inspector Gadget plays)

_"Huh, what is that annoying noise…"_ Her hand goes under the pillow; she fingered her knife as she noticed Chuck answered the phone.

When he had hung up, she asked "Chuck, who was that?"

"Devil."

Annoyed by the answer, but a devilish smile came to her as she reached under the covers, and gave a small butt pinch. "_This will remind him not to give crappy answers to a tired spy."_

"Chuck, sweetie. I am really tired. Every time you turned on your back or front, you let out a yelp. So help me, the person who interrupted what little sleep I did get has some serious timing issues."

Sarah looks at him _"Calm down, deep breath – wait. Is he asleep???"_

One eye opened and she looked at the alarm clock. "It's not even six. Oh crap, who was that?"

She grabbed the sheet covering Chuck, and snuggled close, and one thought kept going through her mind._ "Vacation, people are suppose to sleep in when they are on vacation.."_

He finally mumbled an answer. "It was Devon." " He wants me to tell Ellie they need to leave in about half an hour to make it to the airport."

_"No such luck apparently," _Sarah felt Chuck slip out of bed. She slid over to his warm spot and breathed deeply. Watching Chuck standing by the bed, she laughed.

"What?"

"Charles Bartowski, we are going to have cute, cute children."

"I suppose clothes are in order, huh?"

Shaking her head, she got out of bed and pinched his butt again as she passed. Sarah walked into the bathroom to shower.

She just started feeling the water on her back when she heard, "Hey, Sarah, you see Ellie in there?"

"Oh Crap, Chuck, get the..." She grabbed a towel and stuck it under the water _"If he can't come in so we both can have fun, well he won't enjoy the view." _And she threw it right into his face.

Sarah heard muffled sounds,almost a struggle going on. She peaked out of the shower, and saw that the wet towel was a direct hit, and Chuck had tumbled backwards. She watched as he pulled his butt, and everything else, out of the clothes hamper.

"Chuck, you had better pick those up, or I swear you will be crapping soap for the next two years…"

She watched him leave. Turning back to her shower, she just started to relax when she heard doors start to slam and people running around the apartment.

_"I GIVE UP!" _She got out and wrapped a towel around herself, headed for the bedroom. She closed the door and starting grabbing some clothes when she heard a noise as the bedroom window started to open.

Grabbing a knife she realized that she knew the silhouette climbing through.

"MORGAN! WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"Oh, hi Sarah. I was down stairs when I ran into Chuck and Devon going out for a run. Funny, I would have thought being his best friend that he would at least let me in on the fact that he is trying to buff up. I mean, he already has you, the blonde goddess, so I can only assume you are trying to get him into shape for something…"

Completely tuning Morgan, out Sarah, started an internal debate. _"No, he is Chuck's best friend, I cannot squish him just because.. well maybe a little?"_ Behind her back, the knife is twirling around her fingers. _"Does he really need the beard?"_

At this point, Chuck came through the door, dripping wet. Seeing the two, he recognized instantly the look on Sarah's face and pure panic set in. "MORGAN, COME WITH ME. ELLIE'S MISSING!" Chuck screamed, and got between the two. He backed Morgan out the door, leaving wet footprints all over the carpet.

As she went over and closed the door, Sarah could hear Chuck's voice. "Morgan, we're on the second floor, how…"

Sighing, Sarah looked out the window, and made a note to have a new lock put on the 'never to be' Morgan door. Just when she finished changing, her cell phone went off.

"Walker Secure"

"He did what?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Yes, I will cut him off for an extra day."

"Ok, two."

"No, that will be enough. I am really that good in that department."

Walking briskly out to the living room, she found the front door open. _"Time to hunt a Bartowski…"_

Once outside, she noticed that the neighbor's light was on, and what looked like two shadows sitting on a couch was clearly visible in the front window.

When she got close, she heard familiar voices inside. Knocking, she turned the handle and went inside…

--

Chuck

Chuck POV

0600

He heard Sarah say something about putting soap somewhere that he was sure it couldn't possibly fit into. Chuck went to the front door and in a fit of frustration over his currant inability to join in on the shower, he opened the door and threw the towel right in the face of a surprised Captain Awesome preparing to ring the door bell.

"Bro, what the crap?"

Chuck motioned for Devon to come inside. "Sorry, just not ... awesome this morning."

"Say no more. So where are our misses hiding themselves? Her note said she was coming to talk to Sarah?"

"I have no idea, Devon, I have not seen her this morning."

With that they searched the house again (leaving Sarah and the bathroom alone) and they ran outside and down into the courtyard. Chuck ran to check to see if her car was there and Awesome ran into the apartment.

Less than a minute later they nearly collided back at the fountain.

"Not awesome bro. She is no where to be found. Do you think something happened to her?"

"I don't know Devon. Lets go to Casey's and check out the surveillance tapes"

"He tapes the courtyard?" Devon looked concerned all of a sudden.

"No worries. Casey's a little camera happy, but he deleted the activities after the Halloween party last year after the cleanup." Chuck smiled. "We think he is like a Ken doll downstairs; no sense confusing him."

They entered Casey's domain and saw things all over the place. "Whoa. This is not normal," Awesome noted. "John is usually a neat freak."

Going to the computer, Chuck typed a command and reviewed the surveillance files. , "There is nothing taped for a couple of days. Nothing at all. This is not like him. Even if he is on vacation, he doesn't turn these things off."

"GEEK ALERT! GEEK ALERT!" Flashed on the screen.

The lights started flashing red and a siren started blaring.

RED DAWN

RONALD REAGAN

COMBAT TRAINING

"Oh, not awesome again!"

But instead of bars dropping from everywhere, the main TV came on and Casey's smiling face appeared.

"DUCK!" Chuck yelled and they hit the floor as they heard tranqdarts fly over their heads. Chuck's flash seemed to have given him the setup for all of Casey's favorite traps.

"Well, well, well, when the cat's away the geeky mouse will play. I knew that someday, Bartowski, you would try to do something sneaky and underhanded to my computer, so I had the NSA techs plan this little surprise for you. When you wake up, you will be in a world of hurt, Bartowski."

The screen went blank and they slowly crawled to the door.

_Oh Crap, this hurts. Crawling when you can't lie on your front or back is not – not – not fun!_

"Whoa, that man seriously needs a vacation." Awesome looked at Chuck who just shrugged and stopped crawling few feet from the door.

"Oh crap! Casey put lasers on the door." He looked around. "And the windows. We are going to have to find another way out of here."

Changing direction, he headed over to the couch and grabbed two seat cushions and handed one to Devon. Looking overhead, knock out gas started coming out of the air vents. .

"If I know Casey, he would have this place filled with surprises, but nothing lethal. He would have too much explaining to do. Let's head towards the kitchen."

Using their new shield, they crawled towards the back door. Every once and a while, a dart would fly out of nowhere. Most were stopped by the cushions. But the one that nearly hit Chuck right on the tip of the nose got him a little worried.

"Oh man, I think I'm going to puke!"

Chuck looked back and Devon was white as a ghost with the shield dropped and both hands over his mouth.

"Devon, what's wrong?. Are you trying not to breathe in the gas?

"Not the gas, but John's footwear. We really got to get him in to check his feet. That smell is not natural."

Awesome used the pillow to bat away the shoes. "Hey Chuck. Look at this."

Chuck crawled over. "Yes, a tunnel hatch. Casey is prepared for anything!"

Opening it, the two went down.

"It is awfully dark down here."

"Just stay behind me, Devon."

"Where are you, dude."

"Over here."

"Where's here?"

"Left?"

"My left or your left, Chuck?"

"Shouldn't they be the same left?"

"Dude, I can't be sure. Wait, is that you?"

"Auggg. I know you are a doctor, but there are certain parts of my anatomy that I was not planning to show you, especially after the beagle."

"Oops. Sorry."

"OK, I think I found the exit."

As soon as the trap door opened, water started pouring down on their heads. Chuck and Devon surged forward and found themselves climbing out of the center fountain.

"OK, that settles it, no more Mr. Nice Spy." Chuck pulled out his phone.

"This is Special Agent Charles Carmichael. I need to have the National Guard Search and Rescue squad, the LAPD tracker dogs put on alert, and all the satellite surveillance for the last 12 hours for the LA region sent to my base of operations immediately."

He hung up the started tapping on his Iphone. "This app will tap into the LAPD dispatch for the last 24 hours. I'll start backwards and work up. Why don't we go get into something dry and meet back here in five."

Going their separate ways, Chuck slipped and slid upstairs and ran through the front door just in enough time to hear Sarah.

"MORGAN! WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

_"Oh crap oh crap oh crap,"_ Chuck, trying not to drip completely on the carpet, headed as fast as he could over to the bedroom and burst in to see an almost naked Sarah and Morgan at the window.

_Oh crap, she has a knife, and she is almost naked… Morgan almost saw Sarah naked BEFORE ME! OH CRAP Sarah has that 'Does he really need that part of his body' look again. I gotta get him out. Ellie, that's it._

"MORGAN, COME WITH ME. ELLIE'S MISSING!"

Chuck got in-between the two and not taking his eyes off Sarah in a towel, pushed Morgan out the door. He so wished things were different right now,

They headed toward the front door "Morgan, we're on the second floor. How or why did you come through the window?"

Morgan shrugged. "Hey it's the Morgan Door 2.0tm. I figured that it would be ok. Let's face it. We have to have an apartment warming party, and I didn't want to call and wake up Sarah. You know she can be a little scary sometimes."

"Yeah, I hear you buddy." They entered Devon's apartment. "OK, here is how we are going to do this. Morgan, you check the grocery stores and the bakery. Devon, you check with the hospital and the clinic she volunteers at sometimes. I'll get Sarah and we will start working our way outward looking for her. We'll meet in 2 hours back here. Lets go!"

Chuck ran upstairs when his cell phone rang.

"Bartowski secure."

"No, I have no idea, Hawk. She just never showed up."

Running into his house, he jumped in front of this computer.

"I've got the satellite and the reports from the LAPD…"

"What do you mean, breathe?"

"You cancelled everything, this is my sister I've got to …."

"Oh"

Looking up and over towards the living room, he saw three women all waving at him.

"I'm in trouble, huh?"

--

Chuck, after a quick change, drove Devon and Ellie to the airport, and dropped Morgan off on the way. Sarah went into Casey's apartment, walked over to his computer and typed on the keyboard.

"Hello, Sarah" came from the speakers on the desk.

"Hello, Steven. Thank you for your help this morning with Casey's toys. . Chuck really did think he was in danger."

"He did better than that Sarah. I only disabled the cages. The tranqs, the lasers, the knockout gas traps, was all Chuck. Much harder then the trap you pulled Bryce from in Peru."

Sarah was smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh and Sarah, while I understand why you are doing this, and for the most part approve, my son has had some hard knocks. Some more self-confidence would not be bad, but I just want to be on the same page with you. I just want him to know he has a choice. Tell me. What do you want him to do? Go with the CIA or somewhere else?"

Sarah looked directly into the camera, "Honestly, so long as I am with Chuck, I would sell lemonade on the side of the road and he can sell shoes for a living."

"Good answer, Sarah. If you are still planning that trip to Washington to close up your apartment tomorrow, you might want to head to Matt's Deli say around 11 o' clock. Something interesting might happen that will help with Operation Vacation. Take care and Sarah, welcome to the family."

The computer screen went dark and Sarah reset the security back to the standard Casey setup.

Casey's apartment did make a more advanced test than the one Bryce had to get out of in Peru, and that time it was just him alone; not protecting a second person. Once again Chuck exceeded where Bryce had failed.

Sarah shuddered as she remembered that she had to do some disgusting things to get the information on where Bryce was being held to stage that rescue.

_"That's Chuck 3 Bryce 0!" _

_--_

_A/N #2_

_You are getting giddy. You are laughing as you write a review._

_You want to vote in the poll in my profile page_

_You want to PM jagged1 and say thans for making crap classy (ier)_

_Now I have a ton of back reading and other non crappy stories to catch up on, and three days of R and R to do it :)_

_Later  
_


	12. New Flash Lunch!

Usual disclaimers

OK I really really hate not having a computer full time. Writing on an IPHONE is not for an old duffer like me. On top of that work "upgraded" so I can't see FF anymore. GRRRR.

Not only that, I think word disabled some functions on the iphone because I can read, but not review or log in. double GRRR

Anyway enough griping, here is the next chapter, and I hope that there will be a chance to put up the next soon.

As always, thank you jagged1 for you great work. You really outdid yourself. You made crap... well...errr...crappier!

Without further ado...

--

Chapter 12

As usual, the room is pitch black.

The spotlight comes on and there is a tall, muscular blonde standing on a stage, shielding his eyes.

"Hey guys, can you turn it down a bit?"

The spotlight dims.

"Awesome. Thanks, whoever. Hello, spies to be. I am Devon, a doctor for Team Bartowski. My job is to do as little as possible."

Offstage Grunt #547 (I'm surrounded by geeks.)

Whisphered from the sidelines, he can hear a po'ed gruff voice giving him instructions. "Stick with the already need to reshoot the last one because of a bad case of nerditis in my..."

"Indeed. Where was I? Oh yes. There is no 'I' on team. Sometimes, you have to really trust those you are working with, even if it is not awesome."

"In the next senario, you will see how trust in your team really pays off, even when the evidence might prove otherwise."

The spot light goes out.

"Hey, Casey, that was so awesome."

Grunt #529 (Where's the scotch?)

--

Chuck strapped on his seatbelt as the plane came in to land. He could only surmise that Sarah was doing the same, because she was in first class and Chuck was stuck in the last seat in the back._ If Hawk had his way__, I'd be in cargo__, _he thought more than once. He looked with longing towards Sarah, sitting comfortably many rows ahead of him, finishing a flute of champagne before handing it to the flight attendant.

He frowned at the tiny Styrofoam cup in front of him, which had the last drops of a disgusting brownish liquid still congealing, peppered with what he hoped were coffee grounds. Then, he thought back to earlier, when he had been given the worst clam chowder he had ever tasted – it was nothing more than a gel of loose potatoes. And that after taste... He shuddered again.

Chuck thought back to the mess that had gotten him in this situation in the first place. After he started the day wet and worried , he received a twenty minute chewing out from Hawk, he was then ordered to haul his butt to Washington. The thought of being in the same room with an angry Hawk right now had made his palms more than a little sweaty. One curse of the intersect, he knew quite a bit about their new boss, and he was not one that anybody with half a mind would want to get upset. He made a mental note to be sure to bring him some coffee as a peace offering.

When Sarah and Chuck met up again after leaving the plane, Sarah had changed into the blue tight shirt and skirt that he liked so much. He tripped over his own feet when she came into view.

Sarah flashed her CIA ID and got them out of a lot of airport lines. She however didn't speak until they pulled up to a little deli. Even then, the first words out of her mouth were not the words he hoped to hear.

"Get Out."

Without saying another word, she got out of the vehicle and sat at one of the outside tables. Turning more than a little red when he realized how short and tight that skirt was. After 10 minutes of staring with his mouth open, Chuck had gathered enough courage to head on over. Sarah did not appear to notice and did stop reading her menu as he sat down.

"Ummm…Sarah, this seems like a nice place. Is it close to your apartment?" Chuck breaks out the hopeful smile.

Silence.

"So any chance you can show me around? I haven't been to DC since the 10th grade school trip when Morgan got bus sick and threw up in my backpack full of clean clothes." Chuck forced a laugh.

Silence.

"Well, that was something, let me tell you. I wrapped up my whole backpack into a garbage bag and stuffed it into the storage area of the bus, but Morgan didn't shut the door all the way and it fell out somewhere between the White House and the hotel."

Silence, however he thought he saw a small smile go fleeting by her lips.

"So I had to wear the same clothes, especially the Star Wars underwear for the entire trip. Let me tell you after a week, Jaba the Shorts were getting a little R I P E!"

The waiter came over and as soon as Chuck looked up, he flashed.

After he left, Chuck leaned over and was about to whisper, when Sarah brushed her fingers to her lips.

"Shhhh."

Immediately, Chuck started to worry, he started to looked around for the first time and he went into flash overload, as he flashed on almost everyone and a bunch of things in the restaurant. "Oh, I am going to have such a headache," and he grabbed the table for dear life, almost afraid, like a desperate man holding a life preserver , as the restaurant started spinning. At one point he thought he saw a singing teapot that sounded like a old mystery writer he saw on tv.

Chuck closed his eyes as tight as he could. "Sarah I don't feel so good ..."

"Hello, Sarah. Chuck."

"Wha..." Chuck spun around, eyes wide open, and the flashed started again. This time he could not stop from falling off his chair. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and Chuck slid down, hitting the ground and taking the table with him. His long legs were sprawled outward and he ended up tripping a senator's aide that was walking by. This caused the unsuspecting aide to knock over a waitress and her overstuffed tray of food went flying all over the three tables in firing range. The people at those tables tried to move out of the way, causing another cascade of tables falling, with people fleeing and dishes breaking. When it was all said and done, Chuck was on the ground, covered in spaghetti, while Sarah, untouched by the carnage, rubbed her temples and shook her head slowly.

The mysterious stranger, brushed off Greek salad from his trench coat. "So, how bad do you think his headache will be?" Hawk looked around at the mess.

"Very," Sarah glanced down at the splattered food, and then at Chuck still sitting on the ground. "I'm not fond of this test you and Steven are doing." She stared at Hawk. "If it was not for his own good…"

"Test, what test?" Chuck scrambled up, and placed the table upright.

Hawk turned to him. "Steven and I believe that flashing causes your balance to be disrupted. The only way that we could test it was to cause a series of flashes and see how your body reacted." Looking at the heap of broken dishes on the ground, he continued. "That is something that you can work on. However, with each flash, your body gets more used to them, and recovers milliseconds faster. From the first flash to the last, there was a noticeable increase in your motor functions. That's how you avoided the table from falling on you without getting hit."

He turned back to Sarah. "It's a plastic table, and other than the headache, there is no increased risk of him getting hurt. It's better than taking him to the lab and sticking needles in places neither of you or Ellie want to see him poked..."

Chuck turned a noticeable shade of white then red as the words sunk in, and even Sarah squirmed. Then, she turned to Chuck, leaned over and gave him a long, passionate kiss. Breaking off for air, Chuck looked at Sarah with a half smile and a love sick puppy look as she spoke. "Mmmm. I really wanted to do that. Sorry, sweetie. Having you think I was mad at you was part of the plan. If you were too busy trying to get on my good side, we hoped that I could get you in here where Hawk and your father could then get you into a facility with your father's equipment. Then, they can monitor the flashes without you flashing." She ran her fingers lightly across his cheek. "I hated doing that to you, but I was worried about you and this was the best way to find out."

Puzzled, Chuck looked at Hawk. "What? Is there something wrong with me?"

From out of his trench coat, he reached in and took out a thermos and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Here is what your father and I wanted to make sure of. When you flash, the Intersect activates almost all of the regions of your brain. What we're afraid of was this activity potentially overloading and destroying that part of your brain that had motor control. We spent the past week setting this place up with every sensor that we could find, found as many people that you could flash on as possible, and hid Interest images in the menu, paintings – everywhere. The hardest part was watching you eat that clam chowder on the flight in. We had to lace it with nanobots in order for the sensor to work."

Chuck was stunned by what Hawks was telling him. "Brain damage...The Intersect is giving me brain damage."

Sarah held Chuck's hand. "We don't know, sweetie, and wish I could tell you it's not, but listen to me. If it is, then your father has a way to remove it. Trust me, I am not going to lose any time with you."

Chuck started the eyebrow dance "I trust you always, feel free to trick me anytime I might have brain damage."

Hawk looked at the two and could not keep the smile hidden. "AHEM - Chuck, I'll be honest with you, the intersect damage if it is happening, would probably have done anything serious the first time you flashed, but your flashes are different than your fathers. It will take a couple of days to go over all this data just to make an educated guess. In that time I want to try and limit your flashing. So you have a choice -you and Sarah can lay low for a few days, limit yourself to exposure of the news and other people and work on normal things, or I can send you two off to a deserted island. Before any of that happens, however, there are a couple of tests in the lab where your father is waiting right now. It should take about three hours or so."

Chuck and Sarah gazed at each other, and without speaking, came to the same conclusion. . Sarah broke the silence. "I don't have a lot in my apartment - some small keepsakes. I'll head over and pack those things up myself so he won't flash on anything. You and Chuck can do the tests in the meantime, and we'll head back to L.A. tonight."

They got up from the table and Sarah suddenly grabbed Chuck into the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced.

(Grunt #229) "CRAP!" A small hybrid car that was driving by at that moment lost control before the passenger grabbed the wheel and executed an almost perfect figure eight turn. A strange gagging sound rang out loud and clear from the open windows.

Chuck broke off the kiss, suddenly aware of something nagging him in the back of his mind. "Sarah did you just hear what sounded like someone puking?"

Sarah, with a very care free attitud, breathing heavily and with a coy smile, leaned in intent to continue where they left off.

"Who cares?"

Sighing, Hawk simply picked up an overturned chair and motioned to a waitress to bring a menu, and judging by the show in front of him, two takeout orders for the love birds . _"Gonna to be a long day, I think something high in carbs may be in order" _he then looked over at his agents _"Yep, lots and lots of carbs..."_


	13. A Pinch in time

I have no Casey doll. I've gotten a Casey puppy, but unless you are close enough to be pawed, you should consider yourself safe.

Usual disclaimers apply.

Thanks to jagged1 for her super duper comments and beta.

Chapter 13

A Pinch in Time.

Once again, the spotlight comes on and standing in the light is another tall blonde.

"I am special agent Alex Forrest. Guys, stop drooling. You have no shot. Girls, no, you will not be as good as me, so stop hoping now."

"Today, we will be talking about how stupid people can still become agents. They may be smart with the 'book crap', but when it comes to the field, they are just an accident waiting to happen. And let us all hope that you are not around me or my partner when you do show off your stupidity, because you will become..."

Suddenly the stage goes black.

"Alex! You can't use hand jesters like that on these DVD's."

"Wal..Sorry, Bartowski you are no fun since you started pl...."

Hawk looked up, dumbfounded at the CIA agent playing waiter. The nervous man looked like he would rather be any place else but telling his mysterious boss that he couldn't have what he wanted.

"I'm sorry, Director. But there is simply none left. The desert cart is currently being worn by the Senator from Alaska."

Hawk looked over at what was left of his favourite desert, carrot cake. He then looked over in the corner and saw 'the bad luck club' make-out session was still going on, uninterrupted by the honking vehicles, whistling ppedestrians and a low flying pigdeon with crappy aim.

_'Oh crap, might as well get going'. _ Hawk got up and stood over the two.

"Ahem. Okay, people, we really should be leaving. Stephen is waiting for Chuck, and I do have other things to do."

Hawk could have been a marching band at a KISS concert. There seemed to be no way to get the young lover's attention. However, the head of the CIA would not be ignored. He walked back into the kitchen and returned with two very large, icey, dripping pitchers filled to the brim.

Just as they were about to be dumped, Sarah, more on instinct than anything else, pushed them off to the side.

Unfortunately, that caused Chuck's long, dangly legs to come flying up and kick the poor waiter walking by in the sorprano button. That caused 'Jim', the name emblazoned on his name tag, to fall forward and onto Chuck as he was trying to stand. The nerd, already a little off balance, tumbled into Hawk, and basically got two pitchers of ice down the front of his pants.

Sarah got on her feet and looked a little flustered. "Yeah, I guess we did get a little carried away."

Hawk backed away from the newly formed Lake Bartowski. "Really? Didn't notice. Shall we go?"

"YYYYEEEAAAHHH OOOOOKKKKKKEEEEYYYY." Chuck chattered from a fetal position close to Sarah's feet.

–

Sarah entered her apartment, and looked around. There was not much there. She was not one to keep a lot of stuff. Her father taught her to get attached to nothing. That way, if they had to, they could just walk away. That was something that fit very well in her chosen career.

Walking over to the bookshelf, there were two pictures, now covered with dust. One was of her and Bryce on vacation. Funny, she almost didn't recognize the blonde on the beach with Bryce. That seemed like a life time ago.

The other was a picture of her and Carina in Spain with Bryce and two others freelancers in a multi-agency operation. The man was called Mike Weston, and the girl, Fi or something like that. She remembered that Fi and Carina really hit it off and they took turns trying to seduce Mike. That ended in a mud wrestling pit if her memory served correctly. What a night.

She packed the pictures in an overnight bag she brought and went over to the safe that all CIA apartments had hidden.

Opening it up, there was the usual assortment of classified information, or 'favors yet to be' as Bryce called them: some emergency cash, in several different currencies from around the world, her first gun she was ever issued, and some ammo for it. Finally, there were several passports from different countries, and one that was old and badly battered. Her one 'true passport'. She looked at it. She was eight and her mother took her back to her home in Poland to meet her sick grandmother. And then, she was surprised because instead of going back home after the funeral, they ended up in Disney World for an extra week. She had kept this passport, even though her father would have had a fit if he had known.

Picking it up to place it in the bag, she was surprised by a white envelope falling out.

She recognized the writing immediately. "Oh Bryce, you were always full of surprises."

On the front, it had her name in his distinctive handwriting, and underneath was something bizarre. 'yIqm, yIbuS!'

Stunned, Sarah looked at the letter inside and out, but the only thing she found was a note with a set of GPS co-ordinates and the numbers 2840 and 3205. Taped to the bottom of the paper was a key.

"Bryce, what are you up to?" She took the rest of the stuff out of the safe and closed it up, and then picked up a few other small things that were scattered about. She picked up her Iphone, calling to say that her apartment was empty and that a cleanup crew could get it ready for the next person.

She ended the call and then started the map application. _So a self storage location is it. Okay, Bryce, I have time, let's make a side trip._

She stopped at a drive-through coffee shop, and she had an idea. Taking a picture of the strange writing, she e-mailed it to her 'Better Half'.

The answer came in seconds, but not what she expected.

" R U OK?"

"Yes, why are you shouting?"

"Did Bryce lev u this?"

"Yes , but I have no idea what it is. Is it in the you know what?" She hated this text talking. Honestly, is it so hard to type in complete sentences.

"Pay attention and concentrate!"

"I am Chuck, now what did it say?"

"PAY ATTENTION AND CONCENTRATE!"

"I AM MY LITTLE NERD NOW STOP SHOUTING AT ME!"

"IT'S CLINKON, THEY ALWAYS SHOUT!"

"WELL, STOP IT AND TELL ME WHAT IT SAID!"

"PAY ATTENTION AND CONCENTRATE!"

"I AM! STOP TELLING ME THIS AND TELL ME WHAT THE CRAP IT SAID ALREADY, OR YOU ARE CUT OFF FOR ANOTHER WEEK BEFORE WE EVEN START!"

Sarah grabbed her coffee and downed it in one long drink. For some reason, she was feeling a little crazy, and the urge to kill someone was unusually hard to suppress today. But, she would have to suppress it somehow, because she knew when she and Chuck finally started down that road, there would be no way that she could give it up for a week. It would be way too good. Her threat would turn to 'You had better plow me or else.'

She looked at herself in the mirror._ 'I hope Chuck still finds me adorable after I rock his world over and over and over...'_

She shook her head violently and slammed her fist into the steering wheel. _'Oh Crap, where did that come from?' _She looked at the empty mug in her hand. '_No more for me today. The coffee is making me psycho.' _

When she looked down again, there was a link to a site that contained a Clinkon translator web page.

She looked it up and sent a quick text back.

"You could have just told me that from the start, you know?"

"Spies – can't translate some easy Clinkon without us tech support having your back. See complete sentence – just for you!"

Sarah smiled. How did he know what she was thinking? Adorable.

–

Chuck, on the other hand, was not allowed into Hawk's car until the agent came back from the store with dry clothes. As he changed in the washroom, a text messages started coming in.

_"Really, she need me to translate Clinkon, What am I Google Translate now?"_

_"Not now shadow. I can speak Clinkon just fine without you. And besides you speak with a northern accent. Hey are you giving me brain damage?" _Chuck internally debates as he pockets his iphone.

_"You got to be kidding, you are arguing with a computer program housed in your noggin and you are wondering if your elevator goes to the top floor."_

"Chuck, how long does it take to change? My wife doesn't take that long to get ready for a black tie affair, and she has her hair and nails done." Hawks voice came through the door

_"You know what, go. I've got to see about doing a few renovations. Hey you don't need these fantasies about Sarah and chocolate sauce do you?"_

Chuck came out wearing a pair of tight black leather biker pants, being way too tight on the sore buttocks. "Crap, I wish I knew why my butt is so freaking sore."

Hawk turned to his agent. "This was the best you could find?"

"Sorry, Sir," the agent posing as a waiter stated. "You said the first thing that fit, grab it, and that was the first thing." Only the years of experience that "JIM" had under his belt could keep the smile off of his face. '_REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED LUKE WARM.'_

_--_

Orion's lab was impressive. Taking up two whole floors of the huge CIA complex Chuck thought he walked it a dozen times in the four hours he was there, and when he got out of the MRI for the third and final time, Chuck noticed his father and Sarah talking in the hallway.

"Hey, Dad are you almost done? This cold table is making my butt ache again." His father mentioned that his rear looked like a dart board, but it was healing nicely. Sarah still changes the subject whenever he mentioned it. He wondered if there was a link.

Sarah's adorable grin came back. Chuck wasn't sure why, but sometimes he worried that Sarah might need a long vacation.

"That will do it for today, Charles. When you get back to L.A., I will set up another time to do follow up. Scorpio will be getting some medical upgrades and Eleanor and Devon can run the tests and forward the results. That will take a couple of weeks." Orion hugged his son. "I'm going to leave you alone to change. I sent a message to Sarah and she picked up some more comfortable clothes for you. They are on the table in the locker room. When you're done, she'll be in the mall."

As he went out the door, he called back, "She's aces, Charles, aces."

"umm Dad, what mall?

–

Chuck entered the large Weapons store. Looking around, it reminded him of the BuyMore layout. The checkouts were at the front, and technical support was found at a round desk in the middle of the store. The home theater room was a shooting gallery. The small electronics section had guns, the music section had an assortment ofhand grenades, audio installs had a car, but it was a lot like Sarah's except that it actually had a firing flame thrower from the headlights. The DVD section actually had DVDs though. A big display of a new series, "HOW TO BE A SPY" with the hottie from Mass Effect 2 on the cover seemed to dwarf the other "how to" videos.

Chuck sighed. "Wow, she is something." The three floors above his dad's lab was filled with everything and anything a spy could want, from clothing, furniture and fake passport/ photo id store, to a Orange Orange and Subway training stores (who know all the Subways were run by the CIA). There was even a food court, complete with a day care and a coffee shop on each level.

He looked towards the area where he expected the Wii's would be found, and there was Sarah, throwing some ceramic knives into moving targets. Beside her, there was a shopping cart full of various strange items: a dozen hand grenades in a carton that looked like an egg container, a block of butter plastic explosives, and a box shaped like a milk carton that contained tranqs, among other items.

"I'll take two dozen." She commented to the sales person behind the counter. "And, one of those super-light tranq resistant vests in red, please. Do you gift wrap?"

Now, to be fair to Chuck, it was noisy with the flame thrower going and Sarah contemplating a really nice, light-weight "his" and "hers" set of swords. When Chuck approached her and attempted a simple 'hello', it kind of backfired. After all, a sword is really only a big knife, and Sarah does know how to throw a knife. And when surprised, she is in attack mode.

Chuck went white as a ghost and he looked down. On either side of his feet, he saw the swords, vibrating from the impact in the floor, flopping wildly, and hitting him on the upper thigh.

"Chuck, you should know better than to surprise me like that."

Gulping a couple of times, he asked, "Ready to go to the checkout? We're not going to take the swords, are we?"

"We need them to practice, sweetie." She came over and whispered, "You might want to go before you wet yourself. I got us a special surprise for tonight. How about staying one extra night in a five star hotel before we go back to L.A.?"

Smiling, Chuck turned to leave, and Sarah reached around and pinched his butt, a little harder than she intended. He, however, did not realize that the pant legs actually had been speared during Sarah's sword demonstration, and they were stuck to the floor. The swords were so sharp that the forward momentum ripped the pants off of him and he tumbled forward, still in his special "diaper" due to his butt injury.

He fell forward into the 'music' section, knocking over many of the grenade displays. Spies ran everywhere as the "Time Bomb" specials that were on an display at the end of an aislewent flying, as the display was trampled. Many were trying to get out the exits when the alarms went off.

Now, whoever designed the store really did not put much thought into it. An incredibly loud alarm positioned right over the vibration sensitive land mine aisle was not the best move possible.

However between that and the sounds, no one noticed the "beep, beep, beep" that they started giving off in unison.

Chuck tried to get up, but the swarm of people getting out of the store at once ended up pushing him towards the door. In a last ditch effort, he grabbed a hanging extension cord and climbed up, and using his backpack slung over his shoulder, attempted to zip line to a very cool, blonde bombshell in the, well, bomb shell section.

His hand slipping, he fell down and into the waiting arms of a bomb diffusing robot who also acted as the greeter.

"Hello, INNOCENT BYSTANDER" it spoke.

"The name's Chuck and we have to save Sarah. That way! Move!"

"I am sorry, INNOCENT BYSTANDER, it's time to blow up really good!"

By this time Sarah had made it over to Chuck, grabbed him, and helped him up. Chuck grabbed Sarah, and if he was going to die, then it would be like the moment at the pier. He pulled her close and started kissing her. After a second Sarah relaxed and started kissing back.

The next thing Chuck and Sarah knew, there were two pitchers of ice water being poured over their heads.

Hawk handed the plastic pitchers to Jim. "This time get two sets of clothes for each of them, and go to the clothing section here. No more biker shops, please." With that, he turned and headed to the coffee shop just outside the main door.

Chuck sputtered, "Bombs! We've got to go..."

The beeping landmines finally "blew" and pieces of confetti started showering the store.

Sarah, a little out of breath, but surprisingly hot for having a bunch of ice water dumped on her, looked at her knight in shining armor. "Chuck, there is no live ammo here. These are all non-explosive display models. You make your selection and then you pick it up in the loading bay in back on your way out."

"But, everyone was running for their lives..." Chuck looked around and except for them, the store was empty.

"We had some new trainees here to get fitted for their vests, pick up training pistols, books, DVDs and other necessities for their first day of class." Sarah grabbed both sides of his face. "I noticed that instead of running, you tried to save me."

Chuck felt really dumb, and looked down at his feet. "Fat lot of good it did."

_"Hey you could of asked your shadow, but noooo you kept me in the box.."_

Chuck whacked himself on the forehead as Sarah turned to Jim as he returned with dry clothes. "I'm going to arrange to have this stuff sent to L.A. Why don't you change and go over to the coffee shop and wait there?"

Chuck kind of did that. He did change, and he did leave the 'Bomb More' , but in between there seemed to be a specialty chocolate shop. Going in, he saw immediately a small heart shaped box filled with chocolate covered strawberries. He grabbed it and headed to the front. The agent in training behind the desk asked him for his I.D., and once she scanned it, she gasped "YYYour SSSpecial Agent Charles Carmichael!" She gulped, staring at him.

Chuck was a little taken back. "Yes. I'm sorry, have we met?"

The girl was almost jumping up and down, she was so nervous she was actually vibrating. "Wait until I tell them I met the famous Charles Carmichael. You and Agent Walker are famous. I bet this is for a big mission, right? Going to seduce a big mark? Wow, is she lucky to be seduced by you." She put the heart shaped box in a bag. "Good luck, Agent Carmichael. Please, oh please. pretty pretty please stop by again. I would love to get a picture of the two of us together."

Chuck was three shades redder than before. He grabbed the bag, hid the chocolates in with his other stuff in his backpack, bought two coffees and sat at the front table. He had just made it, because as he sat down, Sarah caught up to him.

"So what is the plan tonight?"

"Plo..." Sarah said then looked really embarrassed. "Err, I mean you will just have to wait and see." Sarah whacked herself in the forehead when he wasn't looking. _ ''I've got to get it together. I must be going nuts; yeah about Chuck's n…STOP IT. Calm. Jjust remain calm...Crap it's been too long. Stupid hormones.'_

"Tomorrow, we have an 11:30 flight back to L.A. There is one place we have to stop by first. I went by there today but I think you will want to see it yourself."

"Okay." Chuck took Sarah's hand and they made their way to the penthouse of D.C.'s finest hotel. "Your father did some computer work, and Hawk did something or other." She turned to Chuck who was more interested in the lady than the room they were in.

"Wait right here. I'll be right back." Sarah walked into the bathroom. She then stuck her head out "You didn't take anything this time, did you?"

"Nope"

"Nothing…you're sure?"

"Yes, Sarah, not a thing, unless you count the 'directors's special' coffee blend, I might not sleep for a week actually"

"Good. Be right back. Make yourself comfortable. And get rid of the diaper."

Sarah ducked into the bathroom.

Taking one last look in the mirror, she took a deep breath. She was never surer of anything in her life. "Showtime."

She strolled out wearing again what she knew was her new favorite seduction apparel. She bought it for their first night together and was still waiting to use it. That seemed like so long ago now.

She saw Chuck lying on his side in bed. She stopped. This was feeling way too familiar.

"Chuck, are you ready for the best night of our lives?"

Chuck turned and held up a champagne flute and a heart shaped box of chocolate covered strawberries.

Sarah slowly climbed next to him in bed and whispered in his ear.

"Chuck, I hope you took your vitamins today. You're going to need all the energy you can get," she whispered in his ear.

Chuck was all smiles. "Sarah, I promise you I will do anything and everything to make you happy."

Sarah took a berry from the box and fed one to Chuck who in turn fed one back to her.

She stopped instantly. "Chuck, where did you get these?" She knew as soon as the metallic aftertaste hit her.

_"I had to get stuck in your heaaadddd...." Came the little voice from the back of Chuck's head.  
_

Chuck mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "spid sdow"

Sarah could not believe it. Changing tactics, she reached over and kissed Chuck, lightly on the lips at first and then with a little more incentive.

Chuck smiled and muttered something that Sara thought was 'Meryfy mi imzadi'.

Leaning over, she gave Chuck a good night kiss, and then several more, thinking again she really could get used to this.

"Oh crap, by the way, remind me in the morning that I should tell you that I love you before I show you how much I love you, provided you survive the pinching I'll give you for going into the CIA's tranq store." She reached over and pinched as much of his butt as many times as she could before she stopped fighting the powerful tranq-rich chocolate covered berries, which took them both into la la land.

--

I might not have gotten to review due to the fact that I am techno challenged right now, so please take this as my review of several great stories, and be sure to review their stories as well. Tell them that I crapped on them!

(Yes jagged1 you are right, a parody of a parody is in progress. And it will get crappier!)


	14. Let Sleeping Spies Lie

Ok, First of all I am SOOOO GLAD to have a computer back, even if I had to break down and buy a new one so my wife and I can have separate machines again. Now if I get one back at work I would be soooo happy! Writing chapters on an IPHONE for someone as out of touch as me, not awesome.

Anyways usual disclaimer, plus I had fun with the AP and Shadow I used them again here, hope you do not mind (Wep, APR please forgive me)

And APR, Glad you are still around.

Jagged1, yes I drie--- umm - recovered from the Canada – US game. And than you for the great beta work. Again all the good ideas, please give her the credit. As always I made a few changes so shhhhhhhhh.

Expect a lot of catch up on reviews and chapters, since I wanted this finished by Valentines day when I planned it out (three or four more chapters to go, then it is the Casey and Forrest offshoot, then the third and final of this trilogy)

Without further ado…

---

What Do You Get When a Trabble Crosses a Clinkon.

Once again, the spotlight came on. However, the light flickered out again just as a brunette in a lab coat walked in.

"Great. I am left out in the dark again. Sometimes it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Chuck, can you...?"

"Sure, Ellie. Just a sec."

Bang bang bang CRACK

"AUUUUGGGGG!"

"CHUCK!"

"Its okay, Ellie. Just ummm, a mild shock, nothing major."

"Ummm, anybody got another bulb?"

"Oh Chuck, really, now put out the fire in your hair."

---

Chuck woke up and found Sarah's head resting on his chest. He was not sure what she would do once she woke. Once again, he ruined what was supposed to be the start of something wonderful.

"_F__ine mess you have gotten us into now__,__ huh_?' came the little voice in his head.

'I don't remember asking for your opinion, shadow. Now, go back to the deep places of my mind. But stay ready to tell me how to avoid having my butt kicked back to L.A.'

'_Yeah,__ right. I can get you to dodge a bullet, speak __F__rench, and dance without your feet getting in the wa__y. B__ut figuring out women, that's beyond any version of the __I__ntersect. You__'__r__e__ on your own buddy, __M__ass __E__ffect 2 was in the last download, __and __I'm off for the rest of the day. See ya!_'

'Hold it, can you at least give me a hand trying to figure out this mess. If she cuts something off that little subroutine you have hidden in there might not like it either'

"_FINE, if it is a hand yot want…."_

Suddenly Shadow takes control of Chuck's hand and very slowly starts removing knives that Sarah has hidden.

"How the heck did she get that there?" Chuck thinks.

"_Buddy, you don't want to know" _Shadow snickers.

"Uh, Chuck?" The blonde started to move and Chuck's palms started to get moist.

"OH CRAP" Chuck stammers.

"_OH CRAP, I'm Outta here!" _Shadow screams.

"Yes, my wonderful loving, forgiving, light of my life."

"If you don't move that hand then you will probably lose a finger, that particular blade is designed to amputate."

Sarah got up and stretched. And looked down as Chuck seemed frozen in place, eyes fixed on her.

Chuck could not help but have his breath taken away, watching her in the morning light coming in behind her, he knew that she would always be his angel.

She place both hands on her hips and started to stare. "Don't you have something to tell me?" Chuck could see the fire in her eyes, and smell the little hint of brimstone in the air.

Chuck started to move up and grabbed a pillow to use as some sort of protection. That did not last long, however, as Sarah quickly scurried and jumped on Chuck, pinning him to the bed.  
Chuck, obviously uncomfortable, trembled, looking up at his judge, jury and... gulp.

"Sorry," he squeaked out.

She let out a long sigh. "I want to be mad, oh crap, do I want to be mad."

She got off and laid beside her nerd. "But I can't. I blame myself partially. I should have pointed out that the CIA mall stores are all spy related, except the coffee shop. That's Hawk's insistance. One of the things I love about you is that you take things at face value."

Chuck turned to face her. "How do you put up with me?"

"Just stay away from the skanks," she deadpanned and heard her alarm go off. Without taking her eyes off his that troublesome knife left her hand and the clock stopped buzzing.

"We have no time for plowing now. Now I need you to drink lots of water, and eat lots of carbs!"

Sarah jumped up, and after stopping at the bathroom door, she shook her head. Chuck could have sworn she muttered something about hormones.

"We're a little rushed since we have a stop to make before the airport."

'She really needs a stress free day,' he thought. Maybe Disneyland?' Chuck started to get dressed. He had just finished when Sarah, dressed in one of his nerd herd shirts and a miniskirt, came out of the bathroom. She approached Chuck and grabbed two handfuls of hair and started kissing him over and over.

Chuck and Sarah tumbled onto the love seat, both reaching for the other's shirt, when the knock at the door and the shout of "ROOM SERVICE" once again caused the two to silently curse. Then, after a small fit of laughter, Chuck opened the door to a man pushing the overflowing breakfast cart..

Ten minutes later, Chuck packed up the plates and Sarah finished throwing their clothes in a backpack.

"So, what's the rush?" Chuck slipped his arms around Sarah. "We do have a little while before the flight..."

"Oh sweety, as much as I really, really, REALLY want to cut off all your clothes and, well, you know..."

"Really?" Chuck asked, as the famous eyebrow dance commenced.

Sarah let out a deep sigh, grabbing Chuck's hair on both sides of his head. "Oh crap, I so want you to plow me until neither of us can walk for a week."

Chuck and Sarah each got a weird look on their faces and stared at each other.

Sarah looked a little upset, Chuck thought, and looking into her eyes he didn't see the usual silent conversation they sometimes have without even realizing it.

It seemed to Chuck as if there was a little craziness instead tucked away in the back corner - craziness that was saying 'I don't know where this is coming from, but, this psycho feeling is everywhere!'

Sarah walked over and grabbed the bag. "We have a stop to make on the way to board me. Err, the spy. Err, the NSA spy plane that we are going back on. OH CRAP, let's go before I do something I WON'T regret."

Thirty minutes later, they pulled up outside a self storage building and she punched in a code. The gate opened and within a few minutes they were standing in front of a large storage locker.

"I was here yesterday and after I opened the door and looked inside, I knew that this was set up for us to work on together."

Opening the door, Chuck gasped at the sight before him. There was an exact copy of the hold of the Fireflight Class cargo hold 'Peaceful' in 1/10 scale. In the hold, were some classic sci-fi characters: Clinkons, Rawulens from Star Trick, Chewed Back Up and Dark Visor from Star Warts, Dr. What and his Toadis from that classic British sitcom something or other. There were many more taken from films that he and Bryce watched 1000 times at Stanford.

At the exact middle of the back wall was a large glowing golden Ark, straight from the last movie in "SPACEGATE".

A slow smile spread across Chuck's face. He hadn't found heaven last night, but maybe he had a piece of it now.

Leaning forward, suddenly the Captain of the "Peaceful" fired a shot that Chuck felt the wind by his left ear.

"Yep, the whole place is trapped." Sarah sighed "and we need to be on a plane soon, so what do we do nerd boy?"

Chuck looks around.

"Oh Crap"

--

I know short and sweet. I got a lot of catching up to do.

I will be sending out another chapter soon, I'm really trying to get rid of the long gaps.

Life is so unfair.

And please review this and everything you read here!

Thanks

"Now hit the green button, and let the words flow" Shadow whispers from the back of your mind…


	15. Sarah's knives,Chuck's clothes Nuff Said

Hello All

Usual disclaimers – I really own nothing except Hawk and Virginia. However, I might be a figment of someone imagination. So whatever they were drinking the night before, tell them to stop! Everything Chuck related is owned by someone else.

Adorable Psycho is the creation of Wepdiggy and Shadow belongs to Armidillio. I crap on them because their great works are not crappy in the least, and I need to do something to ruin their perfect works.

Again I have no Casey Doll to protect me, but I do have a Casey puppy who will lick you until you give up the secret chicken location.

Thanks again to jagged1. Without her this would probably only make sense to me, and let me tell you I have a crappy sense of humour. So praise again to her, and crap to me.

--

A spotlight shines on the center of the empty stage.

"Hello, I am Bryce Larkin. You can't see me because I'm DEAD!"

"So, welcome to the 'How to be a Spy' series; my idea by the way. Sarah and I used to be partners and it was just one of the great things we thought up while we were together. Of course,the idea really started with me and Chuck wanting to do a 'How to speak Clingon' series, but guess what? The dead can't complain about copyright infringement."

"So anyways – Today's lesson – Those who do not know history are bound to repeat it. As much as you are going to learn when you become a spy, you should also never forget where you came from."

"Chuck – What are you doing in here? Tell me that you are not wearing the missing voice changer I've spent the morning looking for?" Sarah's voice echoed sweetly out as a door slammed shut.

--

Kneepla

Chuck stepped back a few feet from the door and really took a long look at the sight before him.

"_This is interesting – NOT." _Shadow chimed in.

"Not now!" Chuck whispered.

"_Just saying – Wow, look at the one in the really really short red skirt.. She can boot my hard drive any day."_

"Keep it to yourself."

"Excuse me? Keep what to myself?" Sarah exclaimed. She started looking around. "Is there someone here?" she whispered to Chuck.

"Err your knives, yeah but never mind, sweetie," Chuck deflected.

Sarah immediately became suspicious and her eyes followed Chuck's and she started fingering a knife that she seemed to pull out of thin air. "Chuck, who is the skank in the red?"

Chuck took a quick glance at the everything but the figure. "umm Analra. She is a crew member of the 'Peaceful'. Truth be told, he was now only half paying attention as he was trying to read something he noticed on the ark.

"Chuck, what does she do on the ship?" Sarah sounded annoyed, but that fact was completely missed by Chuck.

"She's a companion." Chuck now was squinting at the letters.

"A what?" The voice was louder, again a fact that missed by the nerd that he would later regret.

"You know, a seduction specialist, a woman of the night, a companion."

"IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU!" Sarah threw a knife and it hit the figure right between the eyes, then grabbed Chuck and threw him onto the floor and climbed on top of him.

"Listen, right now, Charles Irving Bartowski, and you listen very carefully. I'm saying this only once. I may have been at the top of my class at seduction school and to your nerdy ways, I might seem like a companion, but I am done with selling myself out for the cause. And while I'm on the subject, WE are not living in sin, you got that? We are getting married and having kids and we' re going to have long nights filled with passion and really, really great sex whenever and where ever I want, got it! Do you understand me, mister?" And just to make sure he got the point that another knife was in her hands and pressed right at his nether region. "So help me right now if you start thinking of me being the same as those skanks, or go off with one, or do an eyebrow dance at one…then I will find out if this really needs to be attached to be fully functional or not!"

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Ummmm sweetie, Please just calm down! Nobody is here but us."

Shadow then kicks in with the download of "DR SHORT"S GUIDE ON HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITH THE CRAZY PEOPLE!"

"CHUCK, TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST FLASH ON ME!" Her face was so slose to him that he could feel her breath on his neck.

Taking a deep breath, he looked into Sarah's Psycho eyes and managed to stifle a whimper. "Sweetheart, first of all, I did not flash on you; I just enjoy having you there. Second can you move the knife a little. It's hard to concentrate when you are that close to the femoral artery. I would hate to have something slip and get blood over your lovely outfit."

Sarah stared at him and then slowly the knife moved away and out of sight.

She then grabbed both of Chuck's hands and pinned him to the floor.

"_Well, she thinks she is the only one to play rough does she. TWO CAN PLAY THE PSYCO GAME!" _Shadow screamed.

"NOT NOW!" Chuck screamed.

"YES NOW!" Sarah screamed back.

"_Time to play dirty. KISS HER!" _Shadow's yell is so loud that Chuck thinks he hears an echo.

"KISS HER?"

"YES, KISS ME." Sarah let go of his arms and grabbed a tuff of hair on each side of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

"_Tongue wrestling! Now that's his kind of combat!" The Adorable psycho chimes in._

Well, it sort of worked. Chuck and Sarah started rolling around and in the midst of battle forgot why they were there. Sarah has by this time managed to cut Chuck's shirt off and was thrown on top of Chewback's head, which jammed the tranq darts that were hidden in his eyes.

Chuck managed to get off Sarah's shirt and it landed on top of the Toadis. This set off the motion sensor that would have caused the door to close and lock them inside, but in their haste Sarah unknowingly kicked a trabble from it's hiding place in front of a Clingon. This fired its "bad 'reath" sword, hitting it and jamming the door open when it got impailed inside the door control panel. There were shoes flying everywhere, one hitting the Rawulen which knocked him into Doctor What, which caused his sonic toothbrush go off and instead hitting what was aimed originally, it hit the floor causing the floor to vibrate and all hell to break loose.

There were smoke grenades going off, and there were old six shooter guns firing futuristic laser with beems shooting out, and there was at least one flame thrower. At one point, the arc fell over and played some Clingon opera and a holographic image of two Clinkon's drinking prune juice came out of the center of it.

None of this was obvious to the two making out like crazy. By now all Chuck had on was his boxers and Sarah was in her bra and thong.

They looked at each other, smiles on their faces as Chuck leaned in. "Oh yes Chuck, Yes!" moaned Sarah, _"OH YES CHUCK PLOW ME GOOD!" _Screamed the psycho part of Sarah.

And then, the sonic toothbrush went into overdrive mode and the vibrations set off the building's new fire suppressant system. Red, white, and blue foam started spraying over the two crazy lovebirds.

Ruining the moment, Chuck jumped up in surprise, and slipped in the foam, falling forward and into the TOADIS front doors.

Sarah, ever the professional, grabbed the red skank's clothes that happened to be next to her and pulled the knife out of her forehead, and the shirt off it's back

The foam was coming fast and furious. In less than a minute there was enough foam that it reached Sarah's knees. She looked inside the arc and saw a bag with her name written on it, and she grabbed it and walked over to her future husband.

Chuck, however, by this time had grabbed the Doctor What trench coat and threw it on as he tried to escape the TOADIS as it topples over like a porta-potty at a .university beer fest.

"_CHUCK, LISTEN YOU MORON!" Shadow screamed._

Looking up, there was a big countdown clock with forty seconds and a mechanical voice repeating "Thank you for pushing the self destruct button. The PEACEFUL will self destruct when the timer hits zero. Please place yourself in the MORGAN position and have a nice afterlife."

"OH CRAP, SARAH! RUN!"

So wearing nothing but foam and various strange bits of tight clothes, they slipped and slid out to the rental car, where the storage security guards just happened to be arriving on scene.

"BANG!"

The storage locker apparently had enough TNT inside, placed perfectly so there was nothing left on the inside of the locker but two trabbles flew fifty feet in the air and landed on the rental car, smashing the windshield.. Surprisingly there seemed to be hardly any damage anywhere else..

"Oh crap, will I ever get laid?" Sarah screamed as she pounded the hood of the dental car.

--

Eight hours later, after Hawk had to come bail them out of jail - it appeared that they had left their CIA IDs in their clothes- they were sitting in first class sipping champagne

.

Neither was really talking to the other, both really embarrassed not by the fact that the storage locker was destroyed, or that they missed their first flight, or even the fact that it didn't happen again.

Now Sarah was brooding about when Hawk found out what happened the night before with the chocolate strawberries, and this two missed opportunities this morning, he actually fell off his chair laughing and it took 10 minutes for him to get the strength to get up. Then he had to call the meeting short because every time he looked at either of them, he laughed again.

The final straw for Sarah was on the way out, she heard him tell the new personal assistant to cancel the rest of the meetings he had for today, and that he had a teleconference he had to make. She was sure that he was going to call Virginia so that embarrassment wouldn't even be confined to DC.

For Chuck however, he kept going over in his mind a conversation he had with Bryce. It was well over a year ago now. He remembered it well…

_Chuck was walking slowly from Lou's deli with his 'Chuck' sandwich. As had been his custom lately, he stopped in front of the jewellery store that was a few stores down and looked in the window. _

"_Hello, Chuck," came a voice from behind him._

_Without turning around, Chuck replied, "Hello, Bryce, I thought you were leaving for parts unknown."_

"_I was, but I wanted to talk to you alone first. What I have to say I wanted to say away from Sarah, Casey and the Buy More bugs." Bryce came over and looked into the window to see what had his buddy's attention._

"_Listen, Bryce, I get it, she is a spy and we can never be together. But sometimes I just can't help but dream."_

_It was then that he noticed the ring. "Chuck, isn't that like the set that you bought Jill when you were going to pop the question?"_

_Sighing, he glanced at Bryce. "Look, I don't want to get into this with you. I'm going back to work, you just go off and save the world, or whatever it is you spies do for the greater good. Good bye, Bryce."_

_And with that, Chuck turned around._

Shifting in his seat, he now imagined what must have happened next. Bryce went gone into the store and asked about the ring that he was looking at. Bryce must have found out from the store owner that Chuck came in with the set he bought for Jill and said that he wanted to sell them and put the money towards another set. The store owner probably told Bryce a version of what happened with him and Jill and now that there was someone else, he wanted to get her something special.

"_Wow, is this sappy or what, Chuckles?"_ Shadow piped in. _"You know when you take these trips down memory lane; you drag me along with it."_

Fingering the box he found in the trench coat's pocket, he shook his head. He kicked himself for a month when he found out the rings that he thought were perfect for his angel had been sold.

"_S'OK Chuck. lets finished this, you have gone over this a hundred times today. Bryce apparently bought the rings and hid them for you knowing that you two are crazy about each other, and yadda yadda yadda, he put this together for you two in case something happened to him. Now can we please get to Castle. There is only one place safe for that. If Sarah finds it before you complete your new'Grand scheme', there will be heck to pay." _His Shadow actually sounded a bit like Morgan, Chuck thought.

Leaning back into the seats, all he could think of was the new mission in front of him. If he had any worries about it, Sarah put them all to rest today.

"Chuck, are you ok?" Sarah asked, looking at the female flight attendant with daggers in her eyes as the brunette smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder as she asked Chuck if she wanted her to pour him some more champagne.

"_Oh, Crap, this is going to end badly." _Chuck thought. Shadow agreed.

--

There is something about the AP and Shadow together that I love to write. Wep and APR, thank you for creating these characters, and I know I asked about using them in the other story, but I am having so much fun with this that I can't seem to stop myself.

But they will be taking a little more of a back seat. This was supposed to be the last chapter, but because of the playing I stretched it out, and I do not want it to get it out of control.

Besides I started a Mind's Eye story that is a short opinion from each of the characters (including AP and Shadow) for each new episode on Monday (just keep in mind that it is usually Tuesday before I get to watch the episode.)


	16. Spy Hard The Musical

OK, first of all again - LIFE. It has a way of sucking sometimes and takes me away from the good things in life, like reading Fan Fic, and the occasional crappy writing that I do. Now I do love my job, but not this much of it at once.

And before anyone screams at me, as I write this, it is April 21, 2010 and I still have not SEEN THE LAST THREE EPISODES!!! So I have been avoiding the boards, the great writing out there, until get caught up. Anyone who reviewed lately, I will respond soon as I get to see the shows.

I broke down and bought them off ITunes this morning. So when they finish downloading and I get a break I am going to hide from everything and everyone until I see them.

But until then, I have not replyed to anyone, not read anyone but my great beta's e-mails.

Nothing personal, I just want some tiny itty – bitty bit of surprise when I do watch.

And this is shorter than usual, only because I've spent so much time writing reports my hand is ready to fall off.

Jagged1, thank you sooo much for the beta. No I have not finished slinging the crap. I'm thinking about changing my screen name to Just F(*&^(* Too Busy however. Your comments have like always help keep the crazy from work seeping into the writing.

Without further ado…

---

A familiar spotlight once again shone bright on the stage.

"AUUUUGGGG MY EYES - THE LIGHT - IT BURNS!" screamed Jeff, throwing himself on the floor.

"FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY, TURN OFF THE LASER BEFORE YOU FRY WHATS LEFT OF HIS MIND!" Lester screamed out as he tried to shield Jeff from the light.

The spotlight went off and the house lights came on as Chuck hurried over to the two.

"Sorry guys, rough night huh?" Chuck did his best not to smile, but failed miserably.

He then helped Jeff stand with Lester helping to support his buddy.

"No problem, Chuckster, just a little rough start to the morning. So what's up?" Lester finally asked.

"You can't be serious," Casey stated, as he and Sarah came up behind Jeff. This caused him to jump a bit before he returned to the 'Sarah leering' state that always happened when she was around.

"Guys, I think they are perfect to do a James Bond type theme for us. Guys, we are making a You Tube video of a short James bond type and we want you to do the theme song for us. Right Sarah? Casey?"

Grunt #443 (Are you flipping nuts?) and a blank stare from the other is the only reply he receives.

"Well, Charles," Lester grabbed Chuck by the shoulder and lead him off to the side. "If we are going to do this, we will need two dressing rooms, the usual assortment of fine foods and drink, and at least three – no four personal assistants – each."

"How about I throw in a case of beer for Jeff and not tell Big Mike about you playing miniature golf with Norman the stuffed fish last week all over the Buy More?"

"DEAL!" Jeff pushed in between the two and grabbed Chuck's hand, shaking it.

"JEFFREY! YOU SHOU..... Oh never mind. Deal." Lester spoke as he shook Chuck's other hand.

--

(Bleep Bleep)

"I have a problem," came a text message.

"What sort of problem?" was the text back

"Check your e-mail please."

A program started and the e-mail was displayed.

"Can do. Aces, Charles, aces," was the reply.

--

Chuck put down his Iphone as he saw Sarah drive up in her Porsche after picking it up from the airport's parking. He wanted to go with her, but she stormed off and told him to 'Stay in the airport, Chuck.' Putting the bags in the trunk, he barely got his legs in when she stepped on the gas and sped away from the lot.

"_OH CRAP, I'm not making tactical adjustments if she rips off a limb." Shadow mutters._

"Slow down. The Intersect would like to have all his limbs attached," came the girlish scream from the tossed nerd.

"Sorry, Chuck. I'm just a little frustrated right now," Sarah shifted gears and took the on ramp to the highway a lot faster than his stomach would have liked.

"Any chance we might get to our destination alive or at least in one piece?" Chuck snapped as he did hand to hand with his seatbelt.

Sarah slammed on the brakes, sprawling Chuck onto the dashboard while skidding over to the side of the road.

"Do you really think that I would try and kill you?" Sarah's muttered in a slightly shaky voice and she stared into his brown eyes. Chuck knew that voice - that's the one she uses just before she goes into full agent mode.

"_Well it worked before,"_ Chuck thought and he grabbed Sarah and kissed her over and over again.

At first, Sarah was not sure what to do. But by the third, kiss she started kissing back, and her frame of mind slipped from agent to, well, whatever these strange psycho - primal feelings of lust were.

'Don't. Don't you want me?' The ringtone blared from Chuck's phone.

"Voicemail!" She screamed as she grabbed the phone and threw it onto the floor and climbed into Chuck's lap while trying to remove his shirt.

"Chuck! Buddy, you there? Hey, it's me, Morgan." The voice came from the iphone's speaker.

If looks could kill, the one that Sarah gave the picture of Morgan kissing a stuffed singing fish on Chuck's phone made him fear for his best bud's life.

"Morgan, really buddy, now is not a good time. Call me much, much, MUCH later." Chuck felt Sarah's fingernails dig into his sides.

"Cool, no problem. Just thought that you might want to know that there are someone looking for you. Kind of CREEPY looking people if you ask me, nasty looking gun too. Like something straight from Mass Effect or Call of Duty."

After a quick exchange of glances, Chuck grabbed the phone as Sarah climbed back behind the wheel and they started accelerating again.

"Hey, buddy, is everything OK?" Chuck tried not sound too concerned.

"Sorry, it's a bit crazy right now. Yeah, great. Wow, we have some guys here with the coolest sunglasses. Real MIB types. Gosh, I just noticed, it's the same creepy vibe I get with John Casey sometimes."

In the background Chuck heard Jeffster doing a warm-up. All it took was a look and she made a tight turn onto the off ramp, headed to the Buy More.

"Morgan, stay at the nerd herd desk, I'll be right there. Morgan? MORGAN!" He looked at Sarah. "It went dead."

He re-dialled. "Voicemail. Sarah, oh crap, if they hurt Morgan…!"

"Calm down, Chuck. Chances are they are just using him to get us there. Lets get to Castle. We will survey the threat from there and then sneak in through the break room. They probably will be watching the entrances and exits. Call Virginia for backup."

Arriving at the back of the OO, they headed into Castle."Why won't anyone pick up their darn phone?"

Chuck pulled up the surveillance while Sarah grabbed gear from the armoury.

"What the Crap?" Chuck screamed, causing Sarah to run over to see what Chuck was looking at.

Inside the Buy More, there were at least fifty people all wearing black outfits, scattered along the outside walls. Set up in front of the TV wall was the Jeffster equipment. Jeff and Lester were no where to be seen, thankfully.

There middle of the store, however, was packed with… well it looked like three or four dozen people, most with shot glasses. Several of them seemed to be doing a conga line around the nerd herd desk where Morgan was blindfolded.

"I'm going to call Hawk or Beckman and get additional people over here," Sarah stated as she started to open the channel to the CIA director.

"We can't wait!" Chuck muttered and ran into the armoury, then after crashing down several heavy machine guns of Casey's, he ran out with two tranq guns.

"CHUCK, STOP!" was all he heard as he crawled through the tunnel and into the home theatre room.

--

Sarah had just finished explaining the situation to Hawk, and even more surprisingly Beckman was with him at the time.

"Agent Walker, I think it is time that you consider, you and … Agent Bartowski head over to the secure site in the new CIA complex. Since it is still so new, there is not much chance that its location and purpose have been leaked," General Beckman said impassively. Sarah almost smiled when she mentally compared her saying 'AGENT Bartowski' to someone getting water boarded.

"General, Chuck will not leave his best friend in a potential enemy's hands; he will not allow himself to go into hiding while Morgan is in danger," Sarah counted.

"Umm, Sarah you might want to look at the Buy More feed. Something interesting is happening," Hawk broke in.

Going over to the monitor, she grabbed her cell and typed quickly. She barely finished when the reply came in. She turned back to the conference.

"Director, General. You can disregard. It seems like the matter is well in hand. Sorry to have bothered you."

"No bother, Sarah." Hawk turned to the General. "And, General I have no idea why you blame me for your inability to get in touch with Col. Casey…" The video then went blank.

---

Walking over to the curtain, Chuck watched as the conga line had worked its way to Morgan. The head of the line lifted up a container as he could clearly hear the rest of the line chanting "MYSTERY CRISPER!"

Morgan looked as if he was going to faint as he removed the lid and caught the smell of the container, but never the less, he pulled a spoon from somewhere and scoped up some green looking substance and swallowed.

Now, Chuck's stomach was still a little off from the drive, so watching his troll-like friend eat that mess was the tipping point and Chuck dove face first into the garbage can and felt his first class meal revisited.

Just as he was picking himself up off the ground, two strong hands grabbed him and hauled him to his feet.

The surprise caused a flash.

_JACKIE CHAN_

_THREE STOOGES _

_BATMAN_

Chuck felt the kung fu vibe and leapt over his attacker and did a back kick that drove his opponent through the glass window of the home theatre.

Screams came from everywhere. Displays were being thrown around and people started chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT!"

"BIG MIKE!" Morgan screamed, as he ran over to the next thing he had to a father. "Chuck, what the crap did you do to BIG MIKE! Skip, call 911. Anna, get the emergency donuts from the office.

Hang on there, big guy!" Morgan looked around. "Anyone remember what we did in that CPR course last year? Anyone? The big guy is dying here!"

"_OH Crap. Sorry, Chuck, that flash was instinct. Umm, I'm going to the box now. Bye!"_ Shadow went silent as Chuck felt another wave of nausea and he dove towards the garbage can again.

Morgan took a deep breath. "Ok, what did Awesome say? Stay calm - that was one. Yeah, he told that to me several times, actually. He really made a point of that. I wonder if he was trying to tell me something?" Morgan looked like he was in his own little world for a second before snapping back to now.

"Oh right -next was to check to see if he is breathing." Morgan leaned down close to Big Mike and screamed, "BIG GUY ARE YOU BREATHING?"

"Nothing. Okay, next was to…umm…remove clothing. Pocket knife…where is my knife… There."

Morgan sliced open Big Mike's shirt and pants. "Sorry, big guy, I just can't do the Scooby Doo socks or the Dora the explorer underwear. Okay, next is to see if he is choking. That means….oh boy …. No, not that I have to…" He gulped "Give Big Mike the Kiss of Life….." Morgan stared at the man who had been more like a father to him than anyone else. "Big Mike, there are only two people I would do this for. You are one, and Chuck of course is the other. No question about that of course."

Morgan swallowed hard.

"Here goes."

He looked over to the puking Chuck. "I might be joining you in a sec. Don't fill it too much, buddy" He leaned in, only to be pushed away by Anna.

"Morgan, stop. He's coming around." She took a bear claw donut from a plastic first aid box and waved it under Big Mike's nose. Within seconds, his eyes were open and he grabbed the donut.

"Ouch, my head! What happened to my clothes?" Big Mike got up and plowed through the drunk crowd, straight into his office, and slammed the door as the cat calls and whistles came from all over the store.

"You're welcome!" Morgan screamed at the retreating boss man.

"My Hero." Anna grabbed Morgan and shoved Chuck out of the Home theatre room, pulling the drapes closed for privacy.

Chuck looked up and saw two pairs of boots in front. One he recognized, and the other he could guess.

"Welcome back, Chuck. Enjoy Washington?" He heard Virginia's voice.

He stood up and looked around. "What is going on here?"

At that moment, the lights went off.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! WELCOME TO THE LAUNCH PARTY OF THE BURBANK TOUR FOR JEFFSTER!" Lester's voice boomed from every speaker.

Jeff came out the back and up to the TV Wall, playing his guitar, while Lester hopped up on the Nerd Herd desk, holding a mic.

"Thank you for coming to the launch off JEFFSTER's SPY HARD Concert tour!" Jeff screamed to the passed out drunks in the front.

Sarah shook her head and passed Chuck a paper she pulled from somewhere he didn't even want to guess.. "It seems that Jeff dropped off all of these flyers at all of his favourite watering holes." The flyer was emblazoned with the words 'JEFFSTER SPY HARD TOUR KICK OFF PARTY AT THE BUY MORE! FREE SHOTS!"

"By the look of it, every drunk in town must have seen it." Virginia said while watching two drunks dance with Mass Effect 2 life size cardboard cut outs of the hot babe in the game.

By this time, Morgan and Anna came out from the back. Morgan ran over to Chuck and jumped up in his arms just as Jeffster started their first song.

"Howdy, buddy. Glad you are here,"Morgan screamed in Chuck's ear.

"Morgan are you OK? What about the guys in the black? What happened to your phone? I tried calling you." Chuck shouted back,

"Yeah I fine, thanks for worring about me though. The weird dudes are Lester's family. He bribed them into all dressing alike to add 'atmosphere' to the opening". Morgan hopped down. "The phone, I'm not sure where it went since the conga line grabbed me and the, I had the best mystery crisper ever." Morgan then looked like he was going into a play by play of every mystery crisper he ever had when Sarah came over.

"Morgan, where is this person who is looking for Chuck?" she asked

"Oh him, I didn't know how much longer I could keep that dude who was looking for you entertained. Listen are you hiding something from me?"

"What, no of course not little buddy. Where is this guy, Morgan?" Chuck leaned down and accepted Anna's hug when she came over..

"My office. I didn't think he should be out with the current crowd that we have in the store today. We have some sort of image to maintain."

Over hearing that, Sarah and Virginia slipped away easily within the crowd. A few seconds later, Chuck's Iphone went off .

Approaching his friends closet / office, he opened the door and saw an eight year old kid in a Tae Kwan do outfit playing a Nintendo DS, while Sarah and a woman he assumed was the boy's mother were talking. Sarah nodded at the boy as Chuck looked at her puzzled.

"Hey there, little man. What can the Buy More do for you today?" Chuck said as he kneeled down to be eye level with the kid.

The boy looked down and pulled a plastic shotgun from a plastic bag he was carrying. He handed it to Chuck. "My gun for 'chicken shoot' won't shoot. Its broken."

Smiling, "Lets see what we can do about that, shall we?" Chuck then took out a screwdriver from the desk drawer and in two seconds had the shotgun repaired.

"Hey, I have an idea, why don't we all go over to the Orange Orange and have a Fro Yo?" Sarah asked the boy.

"Actually, we went there before coming here and it's closed?" the mom spoke.

"No problem, I think that I have enough pull with the boss to let us in." Sarah grinned and they turned to leave the office.

Chuck turned to the boy. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name?"

"Chuck."

Chuck stopped and looked down at him.

"Yeah, I know. Nobody calls their kid 'Chuck' anymore- that's ancient." The boy shrugged as they headed out the back to the OO.


	17. Sarah vs Buy More

Sarah Vs Buy More:  
A/N

Well I hate to say it, but since the first draft of this was only a dozen chapters, a lot more than that that came out.

Usual disclaimers: Others own 'Chuck', not me.

Just because I confused one person at least, this takes place at the end of the second season. Morgan does not know about Chuck's spy life, but Ellie does.

As for the rest, please remember this started with Chuck vs oh crap, so most of the answers to your questions can be found there.

Casey the beagle pup is not included in this, that's something else all together…

Jagged1 is once again a life saver with her awesome beta skills. Thank you and again to everyone, the good stuff is hers, the crap is mine. I tinkered with it after she sent it back, so the mistakes are all mine.

And without further ado…

–

The spotlight shone a soft red light on the one known as Special Agent Sarah Bartowski. She was lying in a large brass bed, wearing what appeared to be a thin satin sheet. As a matter of fact, the thin satin sheet was the only article between the camera and a XXX (or M) rating.

"Well, hello there. I've been waiting for you forever . You really know how to keep a woman wanting more."

Sarah smiled at the camera as it closed in around her face. "Welcome to the last video in our 'How to be a Spy series.' We saved this for the last video, my personal favorite, because it is so hot. 'Seduction.'" The purr that came from her could be the cause of global warming.

She gathered the bedclothes tight around her and leaned up in bed. "Sometimes a spy has to put it all on the line and must go to extreme measures to make sure that he or she has their marks total, undivided attention."

Smiling, she slowly leaned back onto the bed as the spotlight began to fade.

She giggled "Even if that means you need to take matters totally into your own hands."

The spotlight went dark to reveal that the room was still lit by candles. 'Magic Carpet ride' started playing softly in the background.

"So tell me?" the blonde's now husky voice whispered, "Who wants to join me?"

Leaning on the counter of the Orange Orange, Sarah watched her Chuck and the child Chuck talking about video games, comic books and Saturday morning cartoons. At that moment, she certainly wondered who the bigger kid was.

On the opposite side of the Orange Orange, Virginia and the boy's mom finally stopped talking and she walked over to Sarah as the mom went to retrieve the boy.

"So, are you ready to go retrieve your kid too?" Virginia laughed as she pointed to Chuck doing some sort of movie reenactment, causing fits of laughter from everyone in the shop, especially little Chuck who nearly fell off his chair.

As Chuck leaned down to help the boy on with his jacket, he suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a hug.

Something in Sarah melted watching this unfold and when she walked over to say goodbye herself, she turned to total mush as the boy switches from Chuck to her.

The tears started as soon as the boy whispered, "Thank you for the ice cream. Can I come back sometime for some more?"

Sarah felt the boy let go and she wiped the tears away. "Of course, sweetie, you can visit anytime you are in the area."

And with that, the taxi arrived and they both waved from the window as little Chuck drove off.

Sarah reached up and gave Chuck a kiss, hoping that somehow it will help take away the sudden sad feeling in her chest.

"AHEM, So, what do you two love birds have scheduled for the rest of the day?" Virginia asked, bringing the two spies back to reality.

Chuck cleared his throat. "Well I did promise Dad that I would set up the secure line to his new lab and test that the "flash test" he is building will work so we don't need to fly up to DC all the time, but after that..." Chuck's leaned over to give Sarah another kiss.

Sarah suddenly started to smile and backed away She held up her hand and backed out of his attempted embrace. "After that - what? In case you forgot, Mr. Bartowski, you are not allowed to go past first base for at least the rest of the week." And with that she went over and stood by the little lady, who at this point was despertly trying to find a way to sneak out.

Chuck was slightly dumbfounded, mouth open. He took a good look at her. She had the crazy psycho eyes again. But he knew that look; his ninja kick butt, his girlfriend, she was up to something. Whatever it was, he trusted her completely, so he went with it. Looking disappointed, he shrugged his shoulders and walked past the two ladies and headed down to Castle. "I'll be home at six. Want me to bring pizza?" he asked as he went into the freezer.

"No, I'll pick up something, just have fun." Sarah called out. As soon as she heard the freezer door close, she went to the cash register and keyed in the sequence to turn off the surveillance. With that she turned to the little lady.

"OK, can you keep an eye on Chuck to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid? I have some running around to do and have to prepare for tonight." Sarah looked slightly crazy with a side of determined and the look seemed to be contagious, since Virginia started with a wicked grin too.

"I think I can keep him in geek heaven, The new servers arrived in Scorpio this morning, and I can put him in charge of the install. That should keep him out of things for a while. Oh crap it might be harder to drag him away at six." Virginia turned and refilled her cup.

Sarah ran over and hugged the little lady and bolted out the door and headed straight for the Buy More.

When she entered she saw her prey and swooped down on the bearded gnome without mercy.

"Hi Sarah what... OH CRAP" Sarah grabbed Morgan and pushed him up against the wall and used one knee strategically placed between his legs. Morgan was effectively pinned to the wall..

"Listen carefully, Morgan. I will say this only once. I am planning a very special, romantic evening with Chuck and I want it to go perfectly. There have been too many close calls lately and I have become very, very, VERY frustrated. Do you understand what I'm saying Morgan.?" Sarah's voice left really nothing to be discussed and in one of the few times in Morgan's life, he actually thought that being silent was the only way to keep his chance of bearing children intact.

"Good answer. Now here is what you are going to do to make sure I become a very happy woman, Morgan. First of all, you will not borrow anything out of Chuck's wallet ever again without asking."

Sarah paused, and Morgan gulped. She took the frantic look he was giving as a 'yes'.

"Second, as much as I hate to admit it, I will need someone to help me with grabbing some food. You still have that friend who works in the kitchen of that Chinese place that we went to the first time we all went to together?"

Morgan felt his voice coming back. "Absolutely. No problem, Sarah, it's the least I can do. I will pick up Chuck's usual, and I believe you had the combo number six, excellent choice by the way. I will drop it off for you say sevenish"

"How about five thirty?" Sarah smiled

"Five thirty? A little early for Chuck, but I understand that you have other. Aaaaahhhh, duties to attend to and you probably want to get to them right away…" Morgan went on until Sarah interrupted him.

"Third, after that, your sole mission will be to keep Chuck from being called, paged, or being contacted in any way shape or form. He is going to be mine for the next day at least and I want nothing interfering with that. Understood? Until he calls you, you will make sure we are not bothered."

Again Sarah paused, and Morgan gulped. She took that as another yes.

"Finally, Morgan, I realize that you might feel... threatened by Chuck having a closer relationship with me, but I want you to know that I consider you as Chuck's brother and the last thing I want to do is hurt one of Chuck's family, but if you fail in these task, then you..." She leaned over and whispered something that made Morgan turn completely white and when she moved her knee Morgan assumed the fetal position on the floor, using both hands to try and cover his beard.

"_Oh Crap__!__"_ Sarah thought as she looked at the Buy More's Ass Man. _"I think I broke him__.__"_Looking around she spotted Anna at the Nerd Herd desk and hurried over. "Anna, I need a favour?" Sarah asked.

Anna looked up "Sure, what can I do for you?"

"Lately, Chuck and I have been having trouble getting some alone time together. Morgan has an uncanny bad timing and an annoying tendency to borrow things that ruin the moment, if you catch my drift..." Sarah could tell instantly that Anna not only understood all too well how Morgan and his ways can ruin things.

She continued. "I've spoken to him but he has not taken it well. He was going to drop off some food at five thirty and then, can you keep him away from us until you hear from me?"

Looking past Sarah when she heard the lonesome moan of the assistant manager, Anna shook her head. "Sarah, we girls have to stick together, but the problem for the next couple of days is not going to be Morgan, it's the deadwood." She motioned towards Jeff and Lester, who upon seeing Anna and Sarah looking at them, headed back toward the cage, with enough speed to knock over two customers flat on their butts because they dared to approach and tried to ask them a question.

Anna sighed. "We have a large amount of repairs building up since Chuck has been off and Big Mike wants it cleared. He has a new exercise program where he walks around the store with a doughnut in each hand. He stubbed his toe and dropped one this morning on one of the piles that they set aside for Chuck to fix. What usually happened is those two come crying to Chuck over and over again until he finally gives in and spends an all nighter doing the repairs."

Sarah thought back to the times when she checked the GPS and thought that Chuck and Morgan were pulling an all night gaming session at the Buy More, but now... "Anna, do Chuck and Morgan have gaming night here?"

Anna looked surprised. "Here? Not usually. They usually play on a multi-player network. The systems that Chuck built them are way better that anything we have here."

"Thank for the info." Sarah said coolly as she headed to the back toward the cage.

Jeff and Lester were standing with their back to her, facing the cage, when she arrived.

"So let's review: Big Mike wants these repairs gone by the weekend. It's going to be a big job. Many, many, many many, hours of back breaking work. Don't you agree Jeff" Lester asked.

"You know it. I think that we need to redirect our efficiency to other tasks. I vote that we leave this one for Chuck so he has an example to lead us by." Jeff waved his hands around to all the piles covering the floor of the back room.

"True," Lester added shaking his head and copying Jeff, dramatically pointing at the stack of broken computers."If he was here, then these towers of silicone would not be all over the place, so really Chuck is to blame for Big Mike losing his pastries."

"Now, boys, you know that Chuck is off until Monday, correct?" Sarah said tapping them both on the shoulder, causing both to jump more than a little.

Jeff stared at Sarah while Lester tried to step in between them. "Oh Crap! Yogurt Girl, I mean, Sarah. What brings you here on such a lovely afternoon? Is Chuck with you? OH CHARLES!"

Sarah held her hand up in front of them. "Boys, let me let you in on a little secret, I am planning a special night for Chuck, and if all goes well he might be able to walk straight by Monday. Now I think that it would be a good idea if you really try hard to get those machines done because knowing Chuck like I do, he will stop in at some point and see how things are going, and he will feel guilty if there is this much to do. I really do not want him to feel guilty and I want his absolute attention."

She waited to see if what she was saying had any effect. Obviously it wasn't since they both had vacant stares.

Sighing, she knew that she had to take a more direct approach. She walked over to the first aid kit on the wall and picked out a pair of gloves. She then donned them as she got as close to the two as she could get without touching them.

"Boys, I want you to spend every second you have working on those machines." They gulped and stared straight ahead while Sarah started to circle around them while she spoke.

"You see I care for Chuck a great deal, and I like sharing with him. And he shares with me, and when we don't get to share, I get a little... well... upset." She stopped and spoke straight at Lester, who cringed a bit but otherwise seemed clueless. Looking at Jeff, she could see he was leering at Sarah, and not taking anything in.

Sighing, she tried a more direct approach "Listen, Chuck and I are going to be busy so he will not have time to come fix any computers until Monday."

Again the "TILT" look in both their eyes. She started seeing red in hers.

And as she felt her frustration rising, and she started wondering if anyone would miss them too much. Chuck might even give her a pass. But no, knowing Chuck, it would ruin the mood, so she went the non-lethal route. "BOYS, PAY ATTENTION!" That caused them to jump back again , and this time they landed onto the work table in the cage.

Sarah went beyond the direct approach, and right for the blunt, leave no prisoners approach. "LISTEN UP GEEKS! TONIGHT WHEN HE GETS HOME, I AM GOING TO GRAB CHUCK BARTOWSKI, THE MAN I AM IN LOVE MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF, AND RIP HIS CLOTHES OFF AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE FOR AS LONG AS EITHER OF US HAS THE ENERGY TO BREATH. SO IF ANYONE TRIES TO CALL AND TO GET CHUCK TO DO ANYTHING BUT ME, THEY MIGHT FIND THEMSELVES GETTING FIXED INSTEAD!"

"Oh Crappola," was Lester's reply as both he and Jeff crossed their legs and turned slightly away from Sarah.

"Good, now please get to work." Sarah spoke pleasantly as she closed the door to the cage and reached into her pocket and jammed a pocket knife into the lock. "This is just so you understand how important it is to get to these machines," her tone now was almost like a giddy school girl as she removed the gloves and threw them in the garbage as she left.

As soon as she set foot into the sales floor, all the staff of the Buy More started clapping and cheering:

"Go Get Him"

"Yoo Hoo"

"Chuck is soo lucky"

They had all gathered around the back doors leading to the cage.

Big Mike pushed through the crowd and went to her and wrapped her in a Big Mike big hug. "That boy is truly in love with you, girl, now go out there and go get your man!" he shouted.

Sarah smiled, albeit a confused one. "OK, thanks Big Mike, I will." She then started walking over to Anna when she heard Big Mike say, "And tell him he can take the next week off too."

Still with the spaced out smile on her face, she reached into her pockets and dropped off the wallets, cells and keys belonging to Jeff and Lester which she lifted when she from them.

At this point, she had noticed that Morgan moved in behind the Nerd Herd desk, clapping and chanting the loudest, but keeping Anna between him and Sarah..

That's when she heard it; Jeff's voice over the loudspeaker. "Hey, that's my knife and corkscrew. How did she get that?"

Now, it all made sense; those two must have turned on the mic on the table, and the whole store heard the 'I'm going to get chuck to plow me good' speech.

"Oh Crap!" Sarah whispered and a very deep blush rose in her cheeks, as she hurried towards the door when something came over her.

She turned at the door, and using both hands blew a kiss and waved to the audience., causing a loud cheer as Morgan and Anna started the wave.

She then started to skip over to the Large Mart for more supplies.

–

As soon as Chuck entered Castle, he sat down in front of the main terminal and opened a secure channel to his father.

"Hi ,Son." His father said when his image came up on the screen.

"Hi Dad. Any luck?" Chuck asked.

"Actually, it took ess than five minutes after you sent me that e-mail." Orion then took a good look at his son. "Charles, I think I understand why you want to attempt this, but it's not necessary and I'm afraid that it will do much more harm than good. I mean if it goes badly, then Sarah will be heartbroken. Chuck is your life together worth this long shot?"

"Yeah, Dad, I understand that completely, I really do. But I have to do this, or else Sarah, well Dad, I just want to make sure that she will have no doubts. If I don't do this then, well I NEED to do this."

"Just so you know, I'm not sure I approve, but if you are going to do this, well you know my argument. I only wanted what's best for you." Orion paused and had a sad look on his face "The equipment is ready on this end, It will start in 3... 2.... 1..."

Chuck took a large breath and sat up straight in his chair.

"_And so it begins our first day or my last..." _

–

And that is the fifth chapter over the dozen MAX I told myself.

Please take a second to review this, and anything you read on the site. We really do like it.

And the next chapter is in my Beta's hands as we speak..

So later

JC


	18. Sunset

Ch 18

See notes at bottom of Chapter!

Instead of the usual spotlight, the stage is dimly lit with candles and Chuck and Sarah are snuggled together in the middle of a large brass bed. Both were smiling from ear to ear.

"Well, so now that the videos are shot, we can go to editing. Are you sure that these video's will help the next generation of Spies?" Chuck asked Sarah while kissing down her jaw line.

"Chuck, really, of course it will. With the training program that we devised, it will give them all a leg up while at the Farm. Really. This fills some of the gaps that I wish I had known when I left," Sarah answered almost dreamily.

"Well, can't we put some more 'Easter Eggs' in it. After all, they should be spies; they should be able to figure out all the hidden meanings, and messages…" Chuck replied, gently shifting so Sarah could use him as a pillow.

Sarah opened her eyes and lifted her head up. "What have you done?"

Chuck shifted a little and tried to avoid her gaze. "Someone might have inserted a hidden user-name and password somewhere in the Easter eggs on one of the videos…"

"User-name and Password for what…?" Sarah moved under the cover and took back the distance that Chuck seemed to be trying to achieve.

"Morgan might have made a website to promote the videos and he might have created a special area where they can see some videos of you training, teaching, and..." Chuck looking even more nervous, "…well Jeff and Lester might have rigged the office with camera' and uploaded our extra circular activities the other day to the site with their music in the background to become their new video…"

And then the video stopped suddenly. The only thing to those who back it up frame by frame is a flash of what could have been metal headed straight for the lens.

Orion entered the DC hotel bar and walked over and ordered two rum and cokes from the bartender.

He could not help but find all of this strange. After running from everybody for almost two decades, to turn around and become the hunter seemed so wrong somehow.

He looked around the bar and found what he was looking for. He paid for the drinks, and he walked over and sat in the booth behind his mark - a man in an expensive three piece suit and shoes so with such a polish that he could see his reflection. This man was talking to two similarly dressed men. Orion listened in to the conversation with great amusement as he set up his laptop on the table.

"Yes, gentleman, that will be tough to deliver by that date, but I will talk to my people and see what I can do. I will warn you, though, this is not going to be an easy sell to the stockholders. They may want a fifteen percent up front instead of ten if you have the order tripled. That is a lot of material so I'm sure you understand that."

The other men bantered back and forth, but eventually they all reached an agreement. They shook hands, agreed to meet in the morning, and left. The man with shiny shoes gathered up his papers.

"Sounds like you got one heck of a business proposal going on there?" Orion told the man as he was about to walk out.

"It will be a win-win for everyone when this goes through." The business man gave a large smile as he replied.

"Why don't you have a drink with me, Jack." He motioned towards the other bench and placed one of the drinks close by.

"I'm sorry - have we met?" Jack backed slowly away, his smile less large.

"No, I'm here because of her." Orion placed a picture next to Jack's glass and tapped one of the people in it. "This is something that concerns her future."

Jack stared at the picture as the other man lifted his thumb, revealing his little darling looking happier than he had ever remembered her being. She and the Smuck were standing beside another couple. The men were in tuxes and his little darling outshone the bride.

"The woman in the wedding dress is my daughter Eleanor, and that is her new husband Devon. I'm sure you recognize the others in the picture." Stephen's voice was ice cold for the last sentence. Even with what Chuck had told him, and even with all that he had to be forgiven for, he wanted to make sure that Chuck was right about Jack. "She cheated my little girl out of a great deal of money and ruined her wedding, and, surprise surprise, when I was looking for her, I came across you."

Jack Burton sat down and ignored the drink and pocketed the picture. Without the smile or taking his eyes off Orion he plainly stated ,"OK, thanks for the drink, and you have my attention. Now I have no idea who you are, but you will leave my little girl alone."

"That really is not your choice to make. However, here is the deal: you turn yourself in, make the paper. I am sure she will see it and I will make sure that I can be connected to it. Do that and I will make sure the next time she surfaces it will not be from the bottom of the ocean." Orion met Jack's gaze.

If Jack Burton was surprised, he didn't show it nor was there any hesitation in his answer. "Fine. If that is what it will take, but you have to give me your word that my daughter and her companion will be safe."

Steven smiled and he nodded in reply. Jack downed the drink in one shot and motioned the bartender for a refill.

"So..." Jack turned back to Orion " Do I have time for a last meal before I take myself to the noose?"

"Mr. Burton, I think that would be acceptable." Orion relaxed a bit. "You are in unique situation, Mr. Burton. No arguments, no deals, no running. You are just going to give yourself up. I have to admit that I am a little surprised."

Jack took the drink the bartender handed him and once again downed it on one shot. "Here is how I see it. You obviously have the resources to find me, you have a grudge against my little darling, and I have not been much of a father to her." Jack then took a hard look at Orion. "You strike me as a man that is trying to get revenge for your daughter and that is something that can consume a person. I have a gift to read people. It's kept me alive more than once. You sir, you are dangerous. Very dangerous. If giving myself up to protect my little girl is what it takes to keep her safe, then that is the least that I can do. I've hurt her too much. She is a good person at heart and deserves to live in the sun, and not the shadows, like her old man."

Jack then reached over and took the untouched drink in front of Orion and held it up. "Checkmate," he said before he downed it in one gulp and placed the glass back in front of his opponent.

"Okay, Jack, I have a confession to make. When I checked into your and Sarah's history, I was not sure I should go through with this. But you changed my mind. I have something that I think you will want to watch, if not for yourself, for your daughter."

Orion turned the laptop revealing Chuck's smiling face, staring at Jack. Orion then pressed the space-bar and Chuck started to speak.

"Hello, Mr. Burton, I hope you remember me. I really wanted to do this in person, however I can't see that happening anytime soon. So this recording will have to do." Chuck was obviously nervous but did not seem under duress.

Jack looked up from the screen in surprise. Orion then reached over and paused the video.

"Before we go much further, why don't we order a bottle. And I suppose that I should introduce myself. My name is Steven Bartowski. I believe you know my son Charles." He raised the now empty glass to Jack who looked like someone hit him with a ton of bricks.

Sarah came out of the bathroom wearing one of Chuck's white nerd herd shirts and a pair of his boxers. She toyed with buying another red teddy, but decided that it was time for a change.

"_He will just have to de-nerd me."_ Sarah thought as a wicked smile came to her face.

Noticing that she had missed a text, she was suddenly worried that Chuck would be late in returning and cursing that she should have never left him alone. She ran over to check the message.

'_Initial Test Results in – Flashing appears not to be doing any physical harm to Chuck. When Ellie gets back, more tests to be run to confirm– Casey returning – Something up with Beckman. Hawk coming back down. Wants team ready in next week for possible new mission – Very hush hush - V"_

Sarah was not sure if she should be happy or sad. She was expecting to not to have Casey around for the full week, but the idea of a new mission with Chuck as her actual partner somehow thrilled her more than she expected.

"_Well, that's all there is to it, we really have to make up for lost time,"_ she thought as she picked up her phone to send her boyfriend a text. _'Boy-toy err Boyfriend, I like the sound of that.', _she thought_. _Then her wicked smile got even wider as she hit send. '_Well I like the sound of both.'_

Chuck left Scorpio after overseeing the install and testing of the new servers and secure communications system. He decided Scorpio needed a few new features, so he changed the default computerized voice to Beckman's when Casey gave it a voice command, and to give the occasional grunt whenever he was in firing range or the exercise room. And when he entered the Armoury, he would get the 'love grunt' as Chuck called it. He first heard it when they were briefed about the new class of fighters for that guy and the whole class reunion thing.

Chuck's favourite tweak was when he noticed that even the chairs had sensors that changed the height and lumbar support automatically for the person sitting in it; he added a routine that when Casey or Forrest sat down a whoopee cushion sound effect played. It was so good that the harder they sat, the louder the sound made. He also decided to add another feature for just for Casey; the seat would adjust to a comfortable height when he sat down – for that of a five-foot-three woman.

He made changes for Sarah too. He noticed that when she worked out, she always set a specific temperature and waited for it to take effect, so he programmed the room to start changing the moment she entered the locker room, so it would be perfect for her when she was ready.

Chuck also added some music for her when she was in the shower and changing room. Just something that he hoped she would like.

He even added a routine for Forrest, something simple actually. Whenever she went towards the armoury or Casey's locker where he stashed the 'good stuff' the computer would softly say 'humph' in her voice.

He just reached his SUV when his phone chirped a message 'Vaca might be cut short, come home for debriefing.'

From somewhere in the back of Chuck's mind, Shadow was actually getting excited. One thing he hated was not being used, and in computer terms, a day off was almost a lifetime to a program like him.

Chuck smiled and started heading to his new home. Even though Sarah made it clear that he was cut off before they even began, the thought of coming home to his kick-ass ninja made him feel like the luckiest man alive. Even if it was for something normal as supper and snuggling on the couch.

He just reached the apartments when his phone when off again. Juggling the video and the wine, he answered the phone.

"Well, I hear you are looking for me?" the voice said. "If you want to ask me something then I think that a phone call works much better than a video?"

Chuck suddenly became very nervous and the bottle of wine dropped and smashed on the ground. He gulped. "Yes sir, I do."

Sarah just finished setting the table. Granted, it would not be as good as what Ellie could make, and she cheated a bit by getting Morgan to order ninety-nine percent of it, but she did re-warm it, and buy the wine. That had to count for something. Honestly, how can Ellie cook food that good that fast and still keep the hectic job of a Doctor?

She went through her checklist in her head:

Chuck's Arcane Fire CD in the player.

Candle lit room.

Boxes of supplies from the Large Mart.

Extra fluids in the bedroom and energy bars.

Smiling she looked out the window and saw Chuck talking on his cell, slowly walking slowly in front of his SUV. _'That had better not be a brunette skank' _flashed through her mind, but only for a second as her eyes met Chuck's. In that second all doubt of how much he loved her. Everything that was wrong in her universe seemed to vanish when he flashed that million watt smile.

She left the window feeling unusually calm and lit the candles on the table and waited for her boyfriend to enter. After a couple of minutes, no Chuck. She was starting to lose her calm center as she walked over to the door. She wanted to greet her boyfriend in what she hoped to be a very special way. '_I was going to make this the most special night of his life_,' she thought as she flung open the door.

Two minutes earlier.

Chuck put down the cell phone and opened the back door of the SUV and grabbed the tux that he had back there from Ellie's wedding. Getting dressed in record time, he had clothes flying everywhere. He reached into his jean's pocket and pulled out the ring and promptly slipped on the spilled wine, falling forward, and the ring went flying. The Intersect kicked in with the 'NERDS GUIDE TO TUMBLING' and Chuck twisted in mid-fall and caught the ring just before it went into a storm drain.

That however did not stop his forward momentum from causing his hands and feet to fly all over the place to avoid the broken glass. He was moving so fast that he had trouble getting grounded with the slippery wine still on the bottom of his shoes. He looked up. "OH CRAP" He was headed face first towards the fountain.

Shadow now had a job to do, and even he realized how important the next few minutes were going to be. Kicking in again, Chuck's legs started increasing his speed he dove and grabbed a shovel on the ground, and then sprang up and pole vaulted over the fountain, hitting the concrete on the other side with slippery shoes. He started doing back flips through the flower garden that Ellie started last year. He tumbled up the stairs and he finally landed in front of his own front door, crouched on one knee as the door flew open.

Without missing a beat, Chuck gazed on the love of his life. Someday, the Intersect might tell him how he had a bouquet of flowers in one hand and an open ring box with the ring perfectly positioned in the other.

"Sarah Lisa Walker, or Samantha Burton, which ever you prefer. Really I don't mind either, although Ellie might find it weird if I call you Sam now. Anyways not my point at the moment. I was wondering if you would consider doing me the honour of becoming Sarah Bartowski? Or sometimes Sarah Carmichael? I'll even take Sam Bartowski… Okay, I'll just be quiet now." Chuck did the eyebrow dance , dropped the flowers and removed the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger.

After a few minutes, as Sarah stared at the ring, Chuck smelled the food and noticed the candlelit table. "Sarah don't freak out, but I think you are suppose to say something here?"

"No," came the soft reply.

Chuck's jaw dropped and so did the rest of him as he found himself slumped onto the floor.

Sarah then kneeled down in front of him "Sarah Walker or Samantha Burton cannot marry you." She then leaned over and whispered in Chuck's ear.

She kissed Chuck before she leaned back again. "Now that person can think of nothing better than becoming Mrs. Chuck Bartowski. But, I suppose, if it makes your life easier, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Sarah Lisa Walker, the luckiest girl on the planet, is engaged to Charles Irving Bartowski, the most wonderful man alive."

Chuck's smile returned and he picked up his fiancé and carried her back into their apartment.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Nerds of all ages:

That's a wrap !

Crappy day's sun has finally set. It has been a strange and wonderful journey. I have to thank everyone that has reviewed my crap. I would like to thank everyone one at a time, but that would be another dozen chapters with me saying thank you so much that I would probably sound super nerdy.

But one person I really need to thank is Jagged1. Without her great beta skills and 'Are you flipping nuts' type of comments (ok I paraphrased a little. She is too nice to say that, even if she cheers for the wrong hockey team)

But it's a crappy life – Or is it?

Please review and use the poll on my profile page and tell me if I should continue with a crappy life. I would promise timely updates, but my life is just not like that.

This would be a good place to end the crap cycle. But I still have a lot of crap that I can sling.

Even if I don't do the third story, I might still sling some crap in every now and again as a one shot.

I will finish what I start however. I do promise that. So if you want a crappy life, then let me know in the reviews. I am however working on the Casey and Forest as a one shot to fill in what happened.

Usual disclaimers, I own nothing in the Chuck universe, but I sure wish I did.


	19. EASTER EGG

A/N

Was not going to post this, but I found this on my hard drive and after re-reading it – I said what the crap!

And without further ado…

The spotlight comes on and walking into the spotlight is one Morgan Grimes, dressed in a red three piece suit and bright blue bow tie.

"Hello all you people out there in Video land," Morgan waves to the camera "This is so cool! Ahem My Name is Grimes, Morgan Grimes and I am at your service. I play "Q" in this wondrous remake of Dr. No, where the wonderful and talented Chuck Bartowski will play 007 himself, and the incredible Sarah Walker plays the girl that 007 always gets."

He looks around and then runs off stage and grabs a chair. "Casey, we can edit that out right, or should I just start over?" he shouts, just before he reaches the spotlight again and trips over his shoelace and does a face plant into the center of the chair seat.

GRUNT #2091 (Where are the earplugs)

Undeterred, Morgan rubs his nose and looks into the camera. "So let me tell you, in this specially created DVD extra, what is sooo great about this updated classic - light sabers. Yes, ladies and gentleman, we have found a way to get two classics merged into one spectacular…"

Just off camera, Sarah leans over to her man. "Honey, explain to me again how I agreed to this?"

Chuck leaned over. "It was somewhere between you screaming 'Oh Crap, don't stop that, I'll do it, just don't stop'and the threepeat later on. Owwww. No hitting. The Intersect, remember?"

"He will be awhile. Casey can watch him. I need you in the office so we can have that conversation again." Sarah then marched off towards the side door, only to have Chuck run ahead to open it.


End file.
